TC and M Test Drive: Nintendo Wii Fit

w00t! I just got an e-mail from Tortilla Chips and Milk's male model D'Artagnan which he sent me an exclusive photoshoot taken after he stood in line to buy the Nintendo Wii Fit. So here's some pictures of a hot male model workout with the latest new hot product from Nintendo.


Okay, I see he's starting with some meditation on the Wii Fit balance board accessory. Maybe it's a Swedish exercise technique.


Still no video screen. Is he looking for hookups? I don't own a Wii but I'm pretty sure the balance board is wireless.


Is that supposed to be a spotter? I don't understand...I need some answers.


D'Artagnan just texted me and asked what this "Wii" thing is all about.



Apparently, he has never seen a Wii in a store...


Well, come to think of it, I haven't either.


I explained to him that the Wii is a video game system whose supply hasn't really met consumer demand. I then told him that Wii Fit is simply an accessory for the Wii system.


He asked "Then how was I able to buy this how-do-you-say "Wii Fit", when I can't buy zee system used to make it work properly?"


I answered "Why did you bother sending me pictures of you doing leg raises with a three pound plastic balance board?"


He wasn't happy with that response.


Ok, maybe we should hire a Tortilla Chips and Milk female model.


Yes, I think he covered all the possible exercises.


Now that's just not setting a good example, D'artagnan.


...cause that's how we roll.

Songs You Should Know: Steal My Sunshine- Len

100 f'n degrees already? After a really mild past few weeks, all of a sudden it's really f'n hot right now. So, I figured I'd bring back SYSK with one of my favorite summer songs, Len's "Steal my Sunshine"

I actually have their album "You Can't Stop the Bum Rush" and I remember playing the crap out of it. It was a really fun bouncy album with songs with a great Human League-esque balance between Mark's raspsy vocals and Sharon's baby-girl voice. Oh what, you too good for the Human League? Go listen to "Fascination" and suck on it. Plus the album had cameos by Kurtis Blow and Mt. TC and M figure Biz Markee. What I liked best about the album at the time is that it wasn't Limp f'n Bizkit. So yeah Fred Durst, you can suck on this too.

This band definitely deserved better, shame on you society!

L-A-T-E-R suckas!

Kill the ________ 2: Electric Boogaloo joke already

Aight, so I was watching How I Met Your Mother, which is my favorite sitcom right now and usually a wonderfully hip show, but I heard this exchange and what do ya know ...RAGE!!!!

Ted: This is a big deal for you it's like it's your virginity the sequel.
Stella: (laughs) Virginity 2: Electric Boogaloo?

Aight, fucksticks, this has to end now! Cut the shit, I'm serious! Breakin' 2 came out 23 years ago!!! NEWSFLASH kids like me who saw the movie in the theater used Electric Boogaloo to describe dumb as hell follow-ups all the time. Shit, there was a period of two years where any sequel trailer we saw we'd add "Electric Boogaloo" to the title. We also used to let off stink bombs and piss in the same cups we drank our graveyards for yuks in the movies...you grow out of it.

Not to say that I didn't appreciate it when I heard it in Kicking in Screaming as "Jane 2: Electric Boogaloo" but that was 1995 and slacker inspired nostalgia humor was still kinda fresh. In the last 13 years that joke has been the trademark for the wannabe hipster. Red state entertainment journalists, college newspaper music reviewers, dumb ass morning radio DJ are the biggest perps here. Well, you know what? You aren't being hip when you recycle a joke that's old enough to guzzle Cristal and you're being nostalgic, but not for when you saw the Breakin' 2 (which you probably didn't) You're being nostalgic for when you last heard the flippin joke! Seriously, it's the stand up comedian equivalent of bagging on airplane food or making fun of white people dancing (k so maybe that never gets old).

Don't get me wrong, Breakin' and Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo should always have their place in the lexicon of pop culture references. I mean if someone were to say "Sheeeit, you dance better than Ozone" to bust on someone doing the robot or "Aw shit. they brought out the fat break dancing chick" when someone is flustered and has the deer in the headlights look, I would be the first to say "what up!" and pound the potato. If you want a sequel joke just wait a year or two when you'll eventually get the follow up to Snakes on a Plane. On second thought, you'll have to pick another sequel because that movie is gonna be awesome!

The Rant: Iron Man

I really didn't want to see this movie. Iron Man has always been one of my least favorite comic book characters. I mean, Tony Stark is a wealthy playboy like my all time favorite character,Batman, but instead of beatin a sucka down, he hides in a suit of armor. That always made him seem like kind of a wuss. Like he was cheating, I like the superheroes with an underdog quality to them. Iron Man always seems like he has it too easy.

He's always been portrayed as a know-it-all, which isn't so bad, but throw in the alcoholism and this recent Civil War thing and he's at times insufferable to read. I can blame it all on this issue of the Avengers that I read when I was pretty young, where Tony Stark has a fling with the Wasp. So in case you didn't know the Wasp was the ex-wife of Hank Pym who along with Iron Man were founding members of The Avengers. So yeah, he's going after his friend's ex-wife. Strike One. Apparently, we learn that Tony Stark had not yet revealed to most of his teammates that he was actually Iron Man. So when they start seeing each other he decides not to tell her, which means Wasp is dating one of her teammates and she has no clue. If she knew she wouldn't have jeopardized team chemistry and never pursued the relationship. Strike Two. Anyway,Tony Stark waits until AFTER he hits it to reveal that he's really Iron Man. The furious Wasp then breaks it off. Strike Three! I remember reading that when I was a kid thinking that Iron Man was such a jerk. Of course, reliving that issue just now, I've come to the realization that Iron Man is actually pretty f'n awesome!

Warning!!!!! Spoilers galore after the jump.
I’ll say it right away; this movie is an absolute blast. I haven’t had this much fun watching a superhero movie since, Superman III and his evil nicotine mischief. It’s like they took my favorite elements of action movies and turned out a fresh batch of awesome. You have the cars of James Bond, the hi-tech goodies of Mission: Impossible, the one step ahead hero of Bourne Identity, mix that with a production that is every bit as kinetic as a Spider-Man movie and you have a blockbuster that doesn’t disappoint.

There were so many decisions that made this movie fun to watch. The main one being that they never allow Robert Downy Jr. any downtime at all during the movie, he’s constantly interacting with something whether it be the human characters, his robot assistants, or the armor (Jarvis) itself. The movie does not let him spare one ounce of wit and they wring out every possible opportunity for Robert Downey Jr. to carry this film.

Jeff Bridges beard and chrome dome is so unsettling at first glance you know he has to be the villain of the movie.

As a huge fan of “Hustle and Flow” I had a hard time seeing Terrance Howard playing second fiddle. I mean this is the guy who “Whupped That Trick” and slapped Skinny Black. Now I understand that he can’t be the star of every movie, but did he have to play such a wet blanket of a best friend. It seems like his entire dialogue was “Tony, grow up” “Tony you can’t do this. “Tony I don’t want to be involved” “Tony my pussy hurts”. I swear if this were a chick movie, Rhodey would be the girlfriend you love to see get dumped on her ass to a jangly pop tune.

As far as the pseudo love interest is concerned, is there less sexy name than Pepper Potts? Why didn’t hey just name her Herpina Hayes or Crabbie Cumquat? I’m glad they gave Gwen a little something beyond playing damsel in peril for RDjr. Hopefully someone will let these two carry a dialogue heavy indie movie.

I’m glad that the movie took the time to show the process of building and testing the armor. They could have easily gone the cheap montage set to that crappy version of “Iron Man” that they’ve been using to promo the film. Instead they took their time with it and gave us some of the funniest scenes in the movie.

Okay this movie wasn’t perfect, there was the disjointed plotline where the villains really weren’t developed at all. That guy was supposed to be bad-ass Mandarin? All he did was stand in menacing poses, get his face burned and put to sleep by Jeff Bridges. How did they soldiers not get overly suspicious when they saw what Tony Stark was building looked nothing like the missiles they were forcing him to construct? Why does a missile need a faceplate and devices that look like arms and legs? Stupid jihadists! Tony Stark powers up his boots for the first time and he goes flying into the lab wall. Obadiah Stane hops in his armor on first power up and has no problems kicking Iron Man’s ass…seriously, wtf?

There is a pretty cool Stan lee cameo, but the best cameo comes during the final credits. Let’s just say Tony might be hopping on a plane …with snakes on it.

/em cue Cobra Starship’s “Bring It”