Songs You Should Know: Fu-Shnickens w/ Shaquille O'Neal "What's Up Doc?"

Looks like Shaq all up in the news today over his freestyle dis of Kobe Bryant (with a little wink to Kareem, Patrick Ewing, and homeless men on the side) check it out here:

"Kobe,tell me how my ass tastes!" Heh, that's pretty catchy and probably on a hundred cafepress t-shirts right now. I can't wait for Kobe's response rap entitled "Quick, PR people tell me what I'm supposed to say while I grin and stall for time"

In honor of my new personal Summer Anthem, "Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes!" (Gold I tell ya!) TC and M is continuing our "Attack of the Summer Song" series featuring a much younger, slimmer Shaq.

"What's Up Doc?" was a huge summer song for me 15 years ago. It had the combination of one of my favorite groups of the time and Shaq, for whom I rocked the pinstripe Starter LSU cap for years. I remember I first heard this on a road trip with my family. We were in Philly and headed to a huge outlet mall in the burbs. This song managed to play 18 times on the way there. I bought the cassingle and it played the rest of the summer (well, more likely a week or two).Unfortunately, this was kind of the end of the Fu-Schnickens, since this kind of mainstream hit moved them to from Tribe Called Quest's "quirky underground following) territory to the unfortunate one-hit wonder territory occupied by people like Positive K, Candyman, and Snow. They also had their gimmick improved and used to greater success by the Wu-Tang Clan. Meanwhile, Shaq went on to have MTV hits like "Biological Didn't Bother" and "I'm Outstanding" Oh yeah, add that to the over 100 million he's made in his basketball career and life really isn't fair.

I hadn't heard this song in awhile and the references to Tom and Roxie Roker, Randy "Macho Man" Savage, and the Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood shout out are priceless. Nuff talkey, here's "What's Up Doc?" by the Fu-Schinickens w/ Shaquille O'Neal

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So You Think You Can Dance: Top 18

A few days ago I heard a rumor about last season (no I'm not going to repeat it here suckas) that justifies every suspicion that this show is rigged beyond belief for certain people. It's one of the main reasons I stopped SYTYCD blogging for a few weeks. What's the other reason you ask? Heroin. Sweet, sweet heroin. Anyway, this season, hopefully, will ease up on the blatant dance politics favoritism and if they do play favorites, i hope it's with contestants that are actually likable.

Now on with this weeks recap of So You Think You Can Dance: The Top 18 suckas!


Cat comes out in a smokin' hot black dress and looks lovely as always. She's still sticking with the audience participation schtick where the crowd is expected to complete "Let's meet your____" It falls flat...again. Mia is the third judge and describes this cast as "banoodles" as in this shit is banoodles b-a-n-o-o-d-l-e-s ...where did I put that heroin? Since there's there's the requisite 15 minutes or so of bullshit to fill and the Pussycat Dolls can't be on every week, they're going to ask the dancers their favorite and least favorite thing about their partners.


Chelsea T. and Thayne are up first. Thayne thinks it's great that Chelsea is so positive. Chelsea thinks Thayne is generally happy and that balances her sassy side. Chelsea's kinda narcoleptic since she sleeps whenever their supposed to meet and Thayne is a bit superstitious and has to knock on wood for good luck constantly.

They're doing a jazz routine by Mandy Moore, and it's theme is forbidden love between a king and the other role isn't really quite mentioned, so we don't know if Chelsea is supposed to be from a rival kingdom, a lowers social class, or simply a black Jamaican-American. We get some extended clips of Thayne knocking on wood...maybe his real problem is ADD.

Luckily, we had it all explained to us before hand, because without the intro I would have no idea that this piece was supposed to tell a story. I mean a poofy shirt, eyeshadow, and a pocket chain do not a king make. It's not really getting the forbidden love idea across either..there's a green feather or leaf involved? Was there something I missed in history class?

Mia loved the concept but hated the execution. She said Thayne was too dumpy and not regal at all and lacked power. She then states "you've been kicked off the (hot tamale) train. Mary said it didn't have any impact and lacked chemistry. Mary relegates them to the (hot tamale) caboose as a reward for their poor performance. Nigel said it wasn't real and said the costume didn't help and that Chelsea looked like a clown and to make a train metaphor trifecta,says the train jumped the tracks.


Mark and Chelsie H. are in the dos spot tonight. Mark loves the scent of Chelsea's hair. Chelsie thinks that Mark;s best feature is that he's quirky. Chelsie thinks that his reserved nature makes him tough to partner with at times. He thinks she's like a pestering little sister at times.

They get Alex and Argentine Tango tonight...I wonder if there will be the usual kick in the nuts move? Anyway they confirm that the brother-sister feeling makes the close dancing weird. Chelsie hits him a bunch, but no kick in the nuts move tonight.

Their Tango starts out with some traditional tango accordion music, but then a funky beat drops. This is actually entertaining. Chelsie has great legs and does most of the work. I think Mark's quirkiness is his best asset since he's probably the best actor out of all the dancers, so if he's out of his element he can throw himself into a role and fake it. After seeing Thayne look more like a queen than a king, this talent cannot be understated.

Somehow Chelsie's pinky toe gets out of her shoe and Cat gets on her knees and fixes it. She's so awesome. Mia is in love with the two of them. Mary loved everything about that. She thought Chelsie's legwork was great and that Mark looked like a movie star tonight. Nigel fakes a negative comment with a groan but thought it was actually great. He felt that sweet little Cheslie wasn't sleazy enough to appease his filthy daydreaming during the routine. Nigel shouldn't be allowed near young girls.


Will and Jessica have hip hop with Cecily and Olisa. Will loves Jessica's personality and picks his mood up. She loves his focus, but sometimes he's too serious and internal. He thinks she's got confidence problems. Now what I remember about these choreographers is they let the female show off a bit. Alison had a great performance with them in Season Two.

Ugh...I spoke too soon about the Pussycat Dolls since they're performing to Nicole Sherzingwhatever. The routine involves chairs and Will and Jessica and they jump around and the steps are definitely women friendly. Will looks comfortable and Jessica is workin' it. There's no story or cool partner tricks, they just switch hats around alot. It's pretty good, just nothing new.

Okay to get the full effect of the the judges critiques you must do this while you read them. Make a fist with your hand and hold it in front of your face. Slowly move the hand towards your mouth and while doing so push your tongue against the side of your cheek. Mia tells Jessica with a partner like Will she has to set herself on fire to get any attention. She says Will is so powerful and is so much to match and she needs to step it up. She calls Will a genius. Mary agrees with Mia. She calls Will a dancing machine and that he is a force. Nigel agrees, but sticks up for Jessica, and says Will is going to be in the final. So to sum it up it's "slurp slurp slurp slurp" "Jessica killed a puppy with her bare hands" "We already have a chosen one, and he's nicer than Danny, so suck on it Ameriker"

Next up is our 12 ft. of dance Kourtni and Matt. Matt professes that "She has the best eyes" and Kourtni loves "that he is always complimenting me". Shallow much? She says he can't sing, Matt thinks she's tone deaf. They get Jean-Marc and a Fox Trot this week and he goes off into this rant on how this is a dangerous routine and then justifies every stereotypical French-Canadian imitation known to man. "Meh deh meh deh pleaze don't cresh!"

Fox trot...um yeah, not much but an untrained opinion, that I kinda liked it, but I don't know why or even why it's just "kinda"

Mia thought it was old Hollywood elegant and that Kourtni only shows strength when her leg is in the air...shush twelve year old Paj! She also thinks that she needs to own her size and length which causes me to do a Deuce Bigalow yell of "Hey Bigfoot!" Mary loved the choreography, but it was a mixed bag and that the turns were good but the foot work wasn't there. Nigel compliments Matt on being able to lift his Amazon partner and thought his arms were "twee" and that their facials were very fake. He liked it though.

Next our resident cute couple is up next Gev and Courtney G. Courtney digs that Gev is really strong. Gev goes for the obvious and says the best thing about Courtney is that she's really pretty and the worst thing about her is that she has a boyfriend. There's so much awesome behind that statement. What's the worst thing about your partner Gev? Um, we won't be hittin' it later. She says he's short. there's a bit about Gev wearing man-thong.
Meanwhile Courtney is rockin' the Valerie Bertinelli look and I keep expecting Schneider and his awesome tool belt to hop on by. Mandy Moore plays both choreographer and trouble maker for the Cutesies. She gives them a love story and she makes the comment that there's a connection there and that Gev really likes Courtney. Gev gives Mandy a thumbs up for the inanimateness she put in the piece.

It's a contemporary piece and they are pretty much all over each other> Courtney makes some pretty constipated facials which bother me. It's a slow slow piece and i guess it's okay. No real heat though.

Cat disagrees with me though and has goosebumps. Mia loves Mandy's choreo. She thinks that the performance was too jazzified. She expected her to melt into him more and that she was the man in the relationship. Mia was proud of Gev and that his movement was believable. Mary loves it and woos and I tune her out. Nigel Freuds that Gev has more emotion for Courtney outside of the dance than during the routine. So now we know who the Jidges have labeled as year's "Couple we want you to think are hittin' it". Interesting...sucks to be Courtney and her boyfriend right now.

Joshua and Katee (no J-Man I am not calling her "Asian") are up next and seem to be the favorites coming in from last week. Katee loves that Joshua is a caring partner and Joshua loves her smile. Joshua is always picking on her and Katee is always doing this dumb dance. Oh wait, no joke, Katee's dance is actually a pose we used to call the "suck me" pose.

So Tyce is in charge this week and it's Broadway. He's got them running around and they do a catalog of their various moves like "Mixing the Bowl" "Playing the Trombone"...wait this reminds of Andy Dick's telling of "The Aristocrats.

So they're doing a bit from "Godspell" and they are in 30's garb and high energy and they really do run around on stage...a lot. Joshua looks like he's got Demolition face paint on his eye, while Katee has a teardrop on her face, which I think means she killed someone in prison who tried to attack her or something. Anyway this was fun, they looked off in some spots, but the crowd is going apeshit.

Oh no Nigel is up and prancing around. Here comes another slurpie! Nigel freaks out over Joshua dancing Broadway because he's a popper. Um Nigel if we're aware that Joshua is more than a popper, you shouldn't be trying to pull that snowjob on us. He loves Katee's beautiful spirit and calls it entertainment at his best. I'm ignoring Mary now, because she's just annoying. Mia thought the connection between them is unreal. She puts Joshua into the Top 4. Ugh.

They jump into Marquis who says Susie has so much energy and that she always has an energy drink in her hand. Susie likes that Marquis is a goofball. She doesn't like that he's always eating and gets all in her face with his stank Sunchip breath. hE doesn't like getting smacked with Susie's hair.

They are doing an Alex de Silva Salsa routine so I guess this should ne up Susie's element. Heh, Susie starts complaining that she can't do some of the moves. Alex says to the camera that She's not really a salsa dancer and that she dances "street salsa" Susie overhears this and starts crying over the fact that she over heard him saying that she was a "street dancer"

Well, she kinda mis- air quoted him, but it doesn't matter because they start sucking in their dance immediately. It looks all awkward and Susie is just flailing around.

Mia loved the choreography but wasn't crazy about the performance. Marquis was rubbery and that Susie was hot didn't get what she wanted. Mary is back to normal (sorta) thought Susie was disappointing and there was no chemistry. Nigel thought it the Cuban and Puerto Rican Fire Brigade but the fire out before the routine started.

It's Twitchington time! Twitch likes the fact that Kherington tends to think everything is alwayss going to be okay, because he tends to freak out. Kherington loves that Twitch is muscular and that he can lift her. Twitch doesn't like Kherington's leg strength because he's Sir Kickedintthefacealot. She hates his eyeglass frames sans lenses. Seriously Twitch, what the hell? That's dumber than Kherington's "h".

Uh oh we have an early "very special" dance routine ala Mia's Dead Father Dance. Apparently Jean Marc's daughter has a condition where she lost all of her motor skills and she reacts strongest when people dance. So this Viennese Waltz is dedicated to uplifting his daughter.

I like the idea of not going to Hell so I'll just say that they danced dewinely. Well, except for Twitch looked heavy on his heels. They're also both barefoot. Oh yeah and Kherington with her hair that way looks like a slimmer version of an ex-girlfriend. Whose breakup kinda sorta sent me seeking therapy. Sigh...stupid "very special" dance routines. I will say that it was very touching and a nice moment for the show.

Mia thought Kherington needed more reality on the routine since she smiled a bit too much for her taste. Nigel interrupts her and disagrees on the purpose of the dance. Mia gets kind of pissy that she was cut off. Kherington and Twitch get some input. Mary is a crying mess. Nigel actually gives some interesting history of the Viennese Waltz and thought the routine was beautiful. So of course after a touching tender emotional routine, Twitchington still has to do this ...

unbelievable.

Comfort and Chris bump as out dancing Krump but they looked like effeminate Cowboys. We'll see...Comfort likes that Chris is humble.Chris likes Comfort's versatility. He thinks she talks so fast. She doesn't like that he's sweaty and he doesn't like that it get all over her face.

Lil C is back with some Krump, which is usually a mixed bag. Of course Chris has never Krumped before...

And it shows. Again the song hurts the routine. It's a Timbaland joint and it's just okay. Chris does look like a fish out of water. This routine looks so watered down and palatable for what they think the audience wants. It just doesn;t work There's nothing there that keeps the attention. Another whiff for Krump on this show.

Mia is a big Comfort fan. She thought Chris worked hard this week and pulled it off. Mary is just kinda meh on everything and thought Comfort could have hit it harder. Nigel just goes on this embarrassing rant on Krump and how he wants it hard and tells Chris his Grandma is more gangsta than him. Nigel wanted Nigel to get his Hulk on and then gets up and does a shitty crotch grab.

Ugh. Nigel and Mary are ruining this show. Maybe they'll decide the rest of the top 4 next week.

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Quick thoughts on So You Think You Can Dance: Top 18

I had some technical difficulties with the screenies that I couldn't fix this morning so the full post will have to wait until this evening.

Quick thoughts:

Was Will's critique the worst slurp job ever by the Jidges?

Will they ever acknowledge that Twitch might have spent all of last year training in other styles?

Do you think Alex would have referrered to Susie as a (airquotes) "street dancer" if she didn't buy her clothes from the "Whore Shop"?

Chris should have challenged Nigel to a Dance-Off right then and there.

Nigel was so pervy last night he even gave a guy who accentuates female crotch shots the creeps.


Just in case the post doesn't make it tonight here's my bottom three:
Matt and Kourtni
Thayne and Chelsea
Will and Jessica (even though Comfort and Chris weren't as good)
I forgot about Susie Trampskirt and Marquis

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The Rant: The Incredible Hulk

I really didn't really expect much from The Incredible Hulk starring Ed Norton, Liv Tyler, William Hurt and Tim Roth. I was a big fan of the TV show, but mainly because it was on right before the Dukes of Hazzard, which inspired me to write about the Incredible Hulk-Dukes of Hazzard effect. I passed on the Ang Lee Hulk movie based on word of mouth and that it focused mainly on emo, "I am the victim of abuse" Hulk. The Hulk I want to see is "Puny human, Hulk smash!" Hulk.

The concept of the Hulk is rare for comics as thres a duality that you can really explore and a psychology that you can take the time to examine since he's not really a hero, just a Jekyl and Hyde freak accident. Just because there's depth to work with doesn't mean it the end product will be any fun.

So, finally with a modern-day movie do-over five years later, I get what I want, and it's pretty damn fun. As usual, this is not a review just some observations. Spoilers Galore!


This movie starts out with an overview of Hulk's origin played as a background to the opening credits. It's about time that a superhero movie took this approach. We jump into the movie knowing that Hulk was the product of a military experiment gone wrong, he hurt some people including his chippie and is now on the run. Simple, easy, and it only took about two minutes of setup. I loved this sequence because the origin makes more sense this way, we don't need twenty minutes of establishing the back story, and there's no sign of that pussy Rick Jones.

So many nice little references to The Incredible Hulk TV show including a shot of Bill Bixby from "The Courtship of Eddie's Father", college newspaper reporter Jack McGee catching celphone cam footage and coining the term "The Hulk", a comical attempt to use the phrase "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" in Portuguese,Lou Ferrigno as a security guard (and voice of the Hulk) and of course a hitchhiking scene set to "The Lonely Man". Those bits alone were worth the matinee price.

The pants jokes didn't work quite as well for me. I liked the first "mas stretchy" bit when he was buying pants in Mexico, but the big ass Magenta pants bit while they are on the run, just seemed too forced.

I;m not going to really take much credence with what I've read surrounding Edward Norton's unhappiness with the movie. All I know is that he was the perfect Bruce Banner. He has the natural ability to emote suppressed rage and does so much with what really isn't much for dialogue. Whether or not it was a final product he was happy with, his strength as a actor gave Banner the depth that the script may not have provided.

This is such a small bit, but it made me the happiest. Hulk is with Betty in a cave and he gets startled by lightning. So what does he do? He steps out if the cave, grabs a boulder, and chucks it at the sky. Perfect Hulk scene.


Now my favorite part of discussing comic book movies...the relationships!

Okay we have Betty Ross and Bruce Banner we start the movie and Bruce goes into an uncontrollable rage and lands Betty in a coma. Bruce skips town and gives her the silent boot. Betty starts up with a respectable nice guy. Bruce comes into town, sees her with the new guy and decides not to tell her he's back. She spots him and he runs away into an alley and pulls the old hide behind a dumpster trick. She tracks him down and gives him a place to stay. against her wishes he decides he can't stay and then he hits her up for money before he goes.

I lost my shit there, but it gets better.

Then she discovers that he actually transforms into this green mass of muscle capable of a snapping a woman's neck by batting his eyelashes and she's not horrified, but turned on. When they're on the run and things calm down, which is traditional movie sex scene time, he won't give her any, even though she's willing to risk (or encouraging) him turning into a giant green monster capable of killing thousands. After all this, she's still left pining away for him at the end of the movie after he skips town...again. Come to think of it that relationship isn't nearly as preposterous as Carrie and Mr. Big.

Speaking of which, I really want to like Liv Tyler. I mean her back to back roles in Empire Records and That Thing You Do had her in the TC and M pantheon of hot actresses, but she's kinda ridiculous in this. Everyone else in the supporting cast is awesome though, Tim Roth especially.

When it comes down to it, The Hulk isn't a superhero movie, it's a monster movie. The director plays to this as we finally get a good monster versus bad monster throwdown with billions in collateral damage. This is what good monster movies are all about. Hulk doesn't disappoint. In fact, when he uttered his first words, "Hulk Smash", I nearly shed a father like tear. When Hulk vanquished Abomination and let out his victorious scream of rage, happiness, confusion and perhaps some sexual release, I wanted to give him a standing ovation, then run out into the lobby and rip shit up. I haven't had a movie inspire me to vandalize since Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Final Banner, scene? Not gonna spoil that one, but it's a killer.

As for the Tony Stark/RDjr cameo...I wish they hadn't plugged it and moved it from easter egg after the credits status. I know it's supposed to tease an Avengers movie, as it played out, all it did was leave the audience thinking, yeah I guess Hulk was good but Iron Man was still better.

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So You Think You Can Dance Top 20 Results Show

So we open tonight's show with a group dance to "Cobrastyle" by Robyn. The song starts out with some baby voice dialogue which I imagine is saying "Hey, Dad, I've decided I'm not going to do cobrastyle anymore". A few seconds pass and we have a shot of the guys in suits...


and the girls dressed like ...trannys?


We also see Nigel jotting down notes. Wha?

As soon as I can mutter to myself "Oh this is gonna be some bowl shi-" Nigel is gone, chair spinning and out he comes, bound gagged and carried out by the dancers.


Apparently Wade Robson and his wife were the choreographers, but you can't convince me that this isn't a Nigel fantasy ever since he started jidging this show. They break up any cool dancing with shots of bug-eyed Nigel...and yeah worst group dance ever.

Let's get to it. I'm gonna keep this short this week, but here we go with the results.



Our bottom three couples?

First is Kourtni and Matt who did the jewel thief dance off...
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Next is Jamie and Rayven who performed "Cotton Candy" hip hop last night. Nigel made it a point to state that the bananna hammock dance probably offended some people. I'd say it was desperate but not necessarily offensive.


And our final bottom couple... Will and Jessica? The judges are shocked as well and shocked judges usually = safe from elimination.


So I was actually 2 for 3 in my bottom three picks. I'm actually surprised I did that well. In the interim before the eliminations we have Poppin Pete and his son collectively known as "Electric Boogaloo" which will lead to shitty jokes when I read other recaps. grr Then we have the solos. Matt, Jessica, Kourtni, and Will all do some form of contemporary/lyrical whatever and they all seem the same to me. Jamie does the standard ballroom guy solo with hips swaying...he keeps his pants up this time though. Rayven looks flat-footed doing ballet. It looks really bad.


It was as she's the first gorl to go. Kourtni got the early reprieve even though she lost her balance during her solo. The jidges were disappointed with both Jessica and Rayven who was dancing demi-pointe which was unacceptable I guess. Since Jessica is cuter she stays.


Will gets the early safe notice on the guys side. He also gets a speech that might as well have said this "Will, you are our favorite dancer and we will never eliminate you unless you royally fuck up, so don't. You are this year's Danny and Benji rolled into one. Love, the Jidges"

Speaking of Benji...Fake Schwimmer Jamie and 6'3 Matt are left. One has technique, the other has personality, and tonight they say that they are going with technique. See ya Fake-Scwhimmer! Though he does seem like a nice guy.


Down to 18! Well 17 + Will who apparently gets a free pass to the final 4.

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Marvel introduces the Triumph Division- a Filipino Superteam...HEY WAIT!

I'm still pretty much a comic fan and I do have a weekly pull list from my Local Comic Shop. Well, I missed last week's pickup which included Invincible Iron Man #2. I don't read the comic rumor boards so I was thrilled when I saw this:


Omigod, it's an actual Filipino Super Team! The Triumph Division! It's like my childhood dreams come true, except for my team consisted of a strong man the Mighty Caribou, a commander of angry gamefowl named Cockfighter, Tinikling, an agile fighting dancer who couldn't be touched, a colorfully dressed speedster named Jeepney, and TubigMan which was the Filipino version of Aquaman. Looking back I should have named them the Stereotype Squad, but in my defense I was ten. Is it any worse than Apache Chief of the Super Friends?

Still, it's 2008 and Marvel Comics finally has a Filipino Super Team! Sweet! I turned into a ten year old again trying to imagine them in battle, making up their powers, and coming up with an imaginary mythology which made them much cooler that they actually were. Kinda like what the Star Wars nerds did with Boba Fett. I couldn't wait to see what the future had in store for the Triumph Division. Well, I only had to turn the page ...



Oh! Not good.



Sigh. Did they have to go out like that? So, this Wishing Man apparently has sufficient wishing powers to save the day? He couldn't say "I wish these fools would quit trippin," in time? If I had Wishing Man's powers, in the time it would take me to type this, I would already be laid back in my Malibu Beach house, floating in a pool full of Krispy Kreme donuts while Megan Fox was slowly fondling my 38-inch wee wee. Gah! Does the writer have a grudge against Whilce Portacio or something? I mean it's one thing to kill superheroes for dramatic effect, it happens all the time. I get it. It's another thing to stir up ethnic pride and lifetime fanboy wish fulfillment for a segment of your audience and then quash it two pages later.

Oh well, maybe I'll have to settle for seeing Cockfighter in print some day. I thought I saw a movie named Cockfighter. Maybe I'll go rent it or something. I dunno why it was in the adults only section though.

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So You Think You Can Dance: Season Four - The Top 20

After many long weeks of American Idol crapfest, I have been waiting so very anxiously for this season's So You Think You Can Dance to start in earnest. I'm going to keep my Jidges commentary to a minumum and skip the 15 minutes of flashbacks and hop right into the partnering. Well, first I have to make my obligatory Kat Deely looks yum comment. She's got an evenly tanned look this year!

First up are Rayven and Jaime, the Fake Schwimmer. Coincidentally, or not, they're starting the season with hip-hop, much like the way Benji and Donyelle kicked off season two. Instead of Shane Sparks, Napoleon and Tabitha are choreographing tonight's hip hop. Unfortunately it's to the song "American Boy" which is a fine song but it's just waaaay to breezy to really get the show pumping. The song is so breezy it called me up and left an awkward message on my phone that ended with "I'm Breezy!". The dancing is fine but not much of a crowd-pleaser. Jaime dropped trou for pretty much no reason. The dude should have stuffed a cucumber down there.


Susie , the hot teacher, is paired up with Marquis, who know nothing about. We get their intro Susie is pretty much teacher, Miami, students, Miami, teacher, look at my eye shadow, Miami, teacher. Marquis' story is a bit more compelling since he took dance against his Mother's wishes, but won her support when he made it on the show. He seems nice...so nice they stuck him with the f'n WALTZ! Talk about the kiss of death on a night with 10 routines.
Actually, it's not all too bad. Marquis had good form and Susie is more than a Shakira wannabe apparently, because she looked very elegant. They did botch a lift, but covered it well, still a waltz on the first night? They are in trouble..we may get to see Susie's washing machine this week.

Mandy Moore is in charge of the pairing of Kourtni and Matt. We hear the Uma Thurman comparisons again for Kourtni. Mark talks about his athletic parents....k. Also it turns out that combined, this pairing is twelve feet tall. That's all well and good but they forget to mention that if they combined they would also have four feet, a set of male and female organs, and two buttholes. We get our first real in character dance of the night. Mark pulls out this big ass diamond, which combined with the leather outfits suggests that they are jewel thieves or something. Mark pockets the diamond and I think they have a dance-off for it. It's kinda dull, but apparently Mark has superhuman strength since he turns the diamond into dust with his bare hands and glitters the stage. Cool look to the dancers, but come on y'all this was just silly. Picking them for the bottom three as well.

Next we get Chelsea T and Thayne dance the cha-cha. They are both so energetic and perky! It's sorta fun but I was annoyed by the mix of Oyo Como Va that they used. They were sorta good, but nothing like the really smooth cha cha's they've done in past seasons.
Next up we have a Mia Michaels joint. Since she won an Emmy she can do shit like this routine, which is her fantasy version of "Tim Burton's wedding" The victims are Chelsie H and Mark the Hawaiian contemporary dancer. Mia pretty much slams Mark for not being very good and not getting her piece and she's not all that optimistic that he'll get it at all.

Shut it Mia! I thought this was actually really interesting and since Mia is so hurkey jerky with her moves and angles who besides her would notice if they missed a move? This was bizarre and hot all at the same time and I'm now a Chelsie T fan.

The only problem I had was that at the end of the routine which is supposed to mean the consummation of the marriage, Mark looks like he wants to murder his wife. He had the same look in his eye that Justin Guarini had in "From Justin to Kelly" and the same look I have now that I realize that I've admitted I've seen "From Justin to Kelly"

Oh you bastard show! Why did you have to pair up my favorite dancer Twitch, with Kherrington, the dancer I have pre-judged for no reason as the most annoying, . They are doing a Broadway routine by Tyce D'iorio and behind the scenes Twitch christens this pairing using the collective name of, I-shit-you-not, "Twitchington" . I don't think he is my favorite anymore.
So the Broadway is fun and Kherringon is extra smiley, which sorta helps this piece. I'm just thinking that this pair isn't going to work because they have more of a big brother- little sister vibe and if they have to get steamy in later weeks that might just be really creepy. Even though I have to admit that Kherrington is very hot in a jailbait kinda way. For real though, "Twitchington?"



Next we have Comfort and Chris. Comfort, hip hopper, is paired with Chris who was told he had the personality of a tree. She is kinda surpirsed at all the touchin' involved with partner dancing. They're doing the Jive tonight. They start off dancing in individual spotlights which is pretty cool. Comfort who has been covered up in her short camera time this far is in a skimpy beaded number and she's probably rockin' the best body of the competition.

It's all good for me until Chris plays Comfort's leg like a guitar, which I cannot condone under any circumstances. The Jidges think Comfort's a star. I can't disagree.


They paired up hip-hopper Joshua (with secret dance training included) with Katee the girl they tried to paint as a a quitter. They're doing the hip-hop stylings of Napoleon and Tab. It's the story of a soldier who recieves the news that he's gotta go to war as soon as he and his woman's dance routine is over.
Now this isn't the first going off to war dance we've had on the show. Melody and Fat Alan covered this topic in Season One. It is however, the first going off to war routine that was any good. They danced to "No Air" which is about as hip-hop as well... something that is not hip-hop. Joshua is restrained enough not to bury Katee's limitations and it comes off well. Believe it or not Katee might be sticking around for a bit.

Will and Jessica are paired and they are doing tha Tango for us tonight. Not much to say really. They were good and probably safe. Yes, I am doing the rush through the last routines, like I have for the last two seasons. It's still how I roll.
Next we have Knicks dancer Courtney G and Gev who is actually from Khazakhstan and they will be having sexy time with a Dorianna, Disco routine. They seem to be the early candidate for cutest couple, but not quite in the running for couple most fun to imagine doing it. I don't think that any contenders have sprung up for that category so far.


So yes, since it's a disco routine I had to get a picture of the two of them in practice, because if you know SYTYCD disco like I do...here it comes...flying vagina spin!

Yes, I am 12 years old.

The disco was to "Boogie Wonderland" and as Nigel put it there wasn't enough "Boooo-gie" in it. I agreed, but seriously at this point, you've had 3 full seasons of routines, is anyone dancing Disco to "Boogie Wonderland" gonna blow anyone away? I didn't even feel the need to pull out a "Disco Ruler" reference. They round out the bottom three for me.

My favorites were Mark and Chelsie H., Joshua and Katee, and (ugh) "Twitchington"

See y'all in a few hours, suckas!

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