Thursday, May 01, 2008

The Rant: Iron Man


I really didn't want to see this movie. Iron Man has always been one of my least favorite comic book characters. I mean, Tony Stark is a wealthy playboy like my all time favorite character,Batman, but instead of beatin a sucka down, he hides in a suit of armor. That always made him seem like kind of a wuss. Like he was cheating, I like the superheroes with an underdog quality to them. Iron Man always seems like he has it too easy.

He's always been portrayed as a know-it-all, which isn't so bad, but throw in the alcoholism and this recent Civil War thing and he's at times insufferable to read. I can blame it all on this issue of the Avengers that I read when I was pretty young, where Tony Stark has a fling with the Wasp. So in case you didn't know the Wasp was the ex-wife of Hank Pym who along with Iron Man were founding members of The Avengers. So yeah, he's going after his friend's ex-wife. Strike One. Apparently, we learn that Tony Stark had not yet revealed to most of his teammates that he was actually Iron Man. So when they start seeing each other he decides not to tell her, which means Wasp is dating one of her teammates and she has no clue. If she knew she wouldn't have jeopardized team chemistry and never pursued the relationship. Strike Two. Anyway,Tony Stark waits until AFTER he hits it to reveal that he's really Iron Man. The furious Wasp then breaks it off. Strike Three! I remember reading that when I was a kid thinking that Iron Man was such a jerk. Of course, reliving that issue just now, I've come to the realization that Iron Man is actually pretty f'n awesome!

Warning!!!!! Spoilers galore after the jump.
I’ll say it right away; this movie is an absolute blast. I haven’t had this much fun watching a superhero movie since, Superman III and his evil nicotine mischief. It’s like they took my favorite elements of action movies and turned out a fresh batch of awesome. You have the cars of James Bond, the hi-tech goodies of Mission: Impossible, the one step ahead hero of Bourne Identity, mix that with a production that is every bit as kinetic as a Spider-Man movie and you have a blockbuster that doesn’t disappoint.

There were so many decisions that made this movie fun to watch. The main one being that they never allow Robert Downy Jr. any downtime at all during the movie, he’s constantly interacting with something whether it be the human characters, his robot assistants, or the armor (Jarvis) itself. The movie does not let him spare one ounce of wit and they wring out every possible opportunity for Robert Downey Jr. to carry this film.

Jeff Bridges beard and chrome dome is so unsettling at first glance you know he has to be the villain of the movie.

As a huge fan of “Hustle and Flow” I had a hard time seeing Terrance Howard playing second fiddle. I mean this is the guy who “Whupped That Trick” and slapped Skinny Black. Now I understand that he can’t be the star of every movie, but did he have to play such a wet blanket of a best friend. It seems like his entire dialogue was “Tony, grow up” “Tony you can’t do this. “Tony I don’t want to be involved” “Tony my pussy hurts”. I swear if this were a chick movie, Rhodey would be the girlfriend you love to see get dumped on her ass to a jangly pop tune.

As far as the pseudo love interest is concerned, is there less sexy name than Pepper Potts? Why didn’t hey just name her Herpina Hayes or Crabbie Cumquat? I’m glad they gave Gwen a little something beyond playing damsel in peril for RDjr. Hopefully someone will let these two carry a dialogue heavy indie movie.

I’m glad that the movie took the time to show the process of building and testing the armor. They could have easily gone the cheap montage set to that crappy version of “Iron Man” that they’ve been using to promo the film. Instead they took their time with it and gave us some of the funniest scenes in the movie.

Okay this movie wasn’t perfect, there was the disjointed plotline where the villains really weren’t developed at all. That guy was supposed to be bad-ass Mandarin? All he did was stand in menacing poses, get his face burned and put to sleep by Jeff Bridges. How did they soldiers not get overly suspicious when they saw what Tony Stark was building looked nothing like the missiles they were forcing him to construct? Why does a missile need a faceplate and devices that look like arms and legs? Stupid jihadists! Tony Stark powers up his boots for the first time and he goes flying into the lab wall. Obadiah Stane hops in his armor on first power up and has no problems kicking Iron Man’s ass…seriously, wtf?

There is a pretty cool Stan lee cameo, but the best cameo comes during the final credits. Let’s just say Tony might be hopping on a plane …with snakes on it.

/em cue Cobra Starship’s “Bring It”

3 comments:

Laser said...

Just caught this flick tonight, and I went in with fairly low expectations. You pointed out just how shallow the character can play and I've read some interviews with RDJ where he was writing most of his lines on-set. Normally that's not a good sign.

Then you find out one of his ad libs was the "That's how dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far." RDJ made himself Tony Stark his in a way that Thomas Jane didn't with the Punisher flick that came out a few years ago. As bad as I thought some parts of the Spider-Man franchise has been, that's what Tobey Maguire got right.

Instead of playing him like a superhero, RDJ actually injected some real human reactions. When you do something cool, you act like a giddy kid. You fly and your robot assistant can't stop hosing you down for no reason? Act like it's a big deal that you flew and give the 'bot a hard time.

Side-rant. I wish they would have gotten Russell Crowe to do Wolverine. Jackman's entertaining, but the character is completely painful to watch (forced leadership in X3 anyone?). Crowe just oozes the singularity of purpose that screams Wolverine before they went all "oh noes! i gots no memory!" in the 80's. Give me lethal killing machine that isn't all "ow my head". Be the killing machine, then grow a conscience.

Wolverine instantly being a brooding personality in the second scene in X-Men just ruined it for me since Jackman's got the physical presence part of it. Aw... I'm a loner and this girl is gonna get through my gruff exterior because we looked at each other when the TV said something about mutants. It took years with the X-Men for 'ol Canuckle Head to care about his own motives.

I think Crowe's Wolverine would have had a much higher ceiling than Jackman's because Crowe is a much better character actor. RDJ falls into the Crowe quality of actor for me and knocked Tony Stark out of the park. His sense of comedic timing (don't forget this guy cut his teeth on SNL back when it was still good) was great with the lines he delivered. Just the right mix of not having a rooting in reality (for the first part of the movie) and then growing a conscience with a bit more reality based sense of humor.

Incidentally, the over acting thing is why I'm not sure how Hulk is going to be. Ed Norton is an over actor like no other. This movie could turn into a full blown emo fest with all the soul searching I can see him feeling the character needs.

Someone get me a burger yo! Indy coming back in a couple of weeks!

Anonymous said...

I had it out for Jeff Bridge's beard the entire movie. It stared at me, through me. If Obedia just shaved I don't think he would be so evil.

I enjoyed every bit about that movie. Even its plot hole aren't apprent until I started picking it apart with a good buddy of mine afterwords.

What I liked so much about this was the same reason I liked Batman Begins so much, but this movie took it a step farther.

This has been the only superhero movie made ever that didn't have to be a superhero movie. It didn't have to be a comic. This was a movie about a genius with robotics and weapons who runs a company. Once he finds out his company is shady he does the only thing he knows how to do, and that is build a robot suit.

What I hate about Ironman (and Mr. Fantastic) is that everything always feels so "oh how convinient." its always a deus exmachina that wins the day. But this movie did not have one bit of it.

Oh and you'll hear it here first. In the new Hulk movie its going to turn out that there never was a hulk, its just Bruce Banner getting really mad and yelling. But shhhh, you know the first rule about Hulk movies right?

(sorry Trix I just wrote your entire Hulk blog right there.)

Paj said...

I think Norton will be fine as Banner in the Hulk. I would just rather see a movie that isn't so much dealing with the duality of the Hulk/Banner, but rather a straight out PUNK HUMAN! HULK SMASH! Destructo-fest for 90 minutes. They end it by playing the sad piano music and he hitchhikes his way to the sequel.

Word on Wolverine Laser, he's so emo I'm thinking he should just use his claws to cut himself.

Looking forward to The Dark Knight and the thousands of youtube clips that are going to intersperse Brokeback Mountain dialogue with Batman-Joker scenes.