American Idol Finale = Yacht Rock Lives!

If there's anything that can get me back on the blog tip, it's a Yacht Rock freakout moment. Blah blah blah Lee sucks blah blah blah Alice Cooper blah blah blah Janet Jackson's covered titty, the truly memorable moment during last night's American Idol finale was the reunion of the major players of the back alley songwriting duel of 1978 also known as the day Yacht Rock lost it's innocence.

After a bizarre Alice Cooper appearance, and a welcome chance to sing along to "How Deep is Your Love" They brought out the wrecking ball Michael Lynch and as soon as the song started, I nearly shit myself. Hey that song...it's so ...smooth. It's was the Doobies and OH SCHNAPP!!! it's Michael McDonald...and he's "Takin' it to the Streets" Motherfucker!



He sang it with the same steely resolve as he did when he defiantly drove off Geno the manager. Double M is like bulletproof glass, so hard, but yet so smooth.



So yeaa I texted my old Yacht Rock buds and just as I'm done exchanging "Dude!" "Wut?" "Fer Reals!" texts the traditional American Idol "Boys Only" medley starts and it's eventual winner Lee DeWeezy Jefferson busting out "I Can't For That" (no can do). The next few seconds went like this NNNNNNNNNoooofuckingWAY! hallandoateshallandoateshallandoateshallandoates hall and oates hall and oates then I made the double hook 'em horns sign, I ran across the room and did a leaping karate kick into the air HALL AND OATES!!!!


HALL AND OATES!!!

HALL AND OATES!!!

HALL AND MOTHERFUCKING OATES!!!


They rocked out "You Make My Dreams Come True" and after I ran to every mirror in the house to catch Han Solo winking back at me, all I was left with were questions.

Did Mike finally get revenge for Koko's death? Was Oates still daring Sara to smile? Was Loggins ever going to make out of the Danger Zone?

Then Chicago made an appearance...in 2010 everybody...okay YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE IDOL!!! I would talk about the Chicago performance but as the man Oates said, "You're a fucking loser Cetera"


I will spend the next hour or so watching every episode of Yacht Rock again. Thank you American Idol finale. I am now going to keep the fire and sail the ocean smooth. I just have one question to ask. Has anyone seen my lucky harpoon?

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Yacht Rock Quote Day!!! Loggins on Celebrity Duets!!!

"When a friend is drowning in a sea of sadness, you don't just toss him a life vest, you swim one over to him." Kenny Loggins, Yacht Rock Episode 1

You see, Warriors? You see what you get when you keep the fire? Thanks to a heads up from one of my east coast peeps, I was able to catch Kenny Loggins perform "Whenever I Call You Friend" with Xena, Warrior Princess. Wow, how's that for one f'd up sentence? It wasn't just Kenny Loggins on Celebrity Duets, it was Cult of Personality Kenny Loggins!!! Just for that, I had to watch Yacht Rock 1. Which meant yes, I rewatched all of them...in a row. I don't know if the fire is gonna take us past two weeks in a row, maybe if Smooth Jesus is lookin' out... so for now I'll leave y'all with this:
Kenny Loggins (Who kicked Jimmy Messina out of Loggins and Messina which drove him to drinking for a week in an alley): Jimmy Messina! How's she blowin'?

Jimmy Messina(formerly of Loggins and Messina): Fuck you, Loggins!

Tags: Yacht Rock, Loggins, Celebrity Duets

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The Triumphant Return of Yacht Rock Quote Day!!!

"You say that maybe it's over, only if you want it to be" Naw, sometimes you just gotta dig down and you just gotta be reminded of your roots, and here at Tortilla Chips and Milk our roots have always been smooth. Some days, if you've been keeping the fire, the smooth will do something amazing.
Take tonight's MTV Video Music Awards, for example. After sitting through Justin Timberlake's shitty Michael Jackson impersonation, I was worried that I was gonna be in for a long night. Just a few seconds later, things got a whole lot smoother.
Jack Black was backstage prepping for his opening monlogue when in come the "guys who run MTV". I had one of those "NO F'N WAY" moments and then I jumped out of my seat. Playing the role of Douche Ridley was JD Ryznar, better known as Yacht Rock's Michael McDonald!!!
He and the other dude were persuaaaadding Jack Black to follow last minute instructions as JB walked to the stage curtain.
The only thing missing was Loggins. Smooth. Here's a link to help y'all keep the fire. www.yachtrock.com

"...and remember to keep Kanye West on the teleprompter"
Douche Ridley, aka JD Ryznar aka Michael McDonald one smooth muthafucker

Oh yeah, and on the VMA's musical acts won awards and stuff.

Tags: Yacht Rock

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Yacht Rock Cancelled?

FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

Apparently, Yacht Rock finished seventh in the voting at last night's Channel 101 screening. They ended with another classic: Steely Dan vs. the Eagles, but it wasn't enough to finish in the top 5 and remain one of the prime time shows. So now, Yacht Rock is cancelled. I guess the combination of genius and smooth music isn't enough to convince anyone of anything. FUCK!!!!

Anyway, here's the Yacht Rock quote of the day from Episode 10...

"Welcome to the Hotel Calif-ass kick!" -Walter Becker
"Sheagou anytie nebo leeee" -Donald Fagan
Moments before giving Glen Frey and Don Henley a smooooth beatdown.


Here's one from me as I say goodbye...Fuck you you're not Koko, Koko's dead as shit! I'm going straight to the sixth stage of grieving motherfuckers...rockin' out.

As long as smooth music still lives on Yacht Rock hasn't really died. That's why I'm not shedding a single tear. Keep the fire, yo!

Tags: Yacht Rock, Pop Culture News

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New Yacht Rock!!! + a Fabulous JPs Rumour

If you haven't already go now to Channel 101 and watch the newest Yacht Rock!!! Van Halen steals The Doobies producer! Loggins loses his Trans-Am keys! The Halen gets a dose of smooth!

Yacht Rock Quote of the week!!! It could only be this one...


"Smooth Jesus made me do this!!!!" Koko right before he punches Ted Templeman in the nards.

I also heard from a reliable source that the Fabulous JPs will be recording in their mobile studio sometime in the middle of summer. Word has it that their sound might go through a slight change ...

Tags: Yacht Rock, The Fabulous JPs

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YACHT ROCK QUOTE DAY!!!

Okay, if you haven't heard of Yacht Rock, then Hi my name is Paj and I've obviously never met you. This will be a regular Friday thing. Seriously, if you haven't already, you must check this show out here at Channel 101

"Gino can get you everything you need. Fame, Fortune... Fashina."

-Oates, Yacht Rock Episode #8 "Gino the Manager"

I hit a snag with the OC recap and the screencaps I wanted to use. It will be up soon. In the meantime don't mope.

Tags: Yacht Rock

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