Grease: You're the One that I Want - Premiere

Aight suckas, Grease: You're the One that I Want premiered last night and if there are two things that will keep my attention, it's cheesy competitive reality shows and Grease. I'll have to admit that I am a die-hard Grease fan. I saw the movie tons in my child hood and I've memorized the soundtrack. I can recite the soliloquy to "Sandy" on cue, and I've stared at the T-Bird jacket in numerous Planet Hollywoods. So a reality show looking to cast the next Danny and Sandy pretty much fits the Tortilla Chips and Milk criteria for reviewing. Yes, I know, I Pity the Fool was a perfect TC and M show as well. Just because it's a perfect TC and M show doesn't necessarily mean it's watchable.

Apparently this particular production of Grease will include the songs from the movie soundtrack so that's a plus. The producer of the show, David Ian, was behind the "Grease is the Word" production which I was lucky to see in London over 10 years ago. That particular production starred some short Aussie dude who played guitar as Danny and Deborah Gibson as Sandy. She shook her love in a leather cat suit and I was in the fourth row. Not saying that's a good thing, but definitely unforgettable. I'm pretty sure that's when the trend started of bucking the original Broadway score and adopting the movie songs onstage. He's one of the judges, along with Kathleen Marshall, the shows director,and Jim Jacobs the creator of Grease. So they judges aren't at all random which is a good start. The Seacrest of the show is Billy Bush and his female sidekick is an attractive, blonde, Brit named Denise Van Outen. Naturally we start out the series with the cattle call audition shows. Grease held auditions in Los Angeles, Chicago,and New York City. Tonight we start in the fame-whore capital of the world and we end the episode with the Chicago auditions.

Okay, now the cattle call shows are are the same. We get the mix of fame-whores, the ugly and untalented, and the delusional. It's fun to watch, but I'm not recapping it. Here's some notes though.

There were many, many, MANY, renditions of "Hopelessly Devoted to You" they all started from the bridge, which is a bitch to sing. The "Look at me I'm Sandra Dee" Reprise is a much safer choice, yo!

A few potential Sandys auditioned with "There are Worse Things I Could Do", which of course was a Rizzo song. IT doesn't make any sense to sing a song that isn't sung by the part you're auditioning for...but my greatest acting experience was Joe the Paperboy in 5th grade so what the hell do I know.

The censored version of "Greased Lightning" pisses me off. It's tit, cream, and pussy wagon, or nothing at all.

A few non-traditional Sandys made it through to the first cut. Olivia Newton John also stated that it would be exciting to have an African-American or Latino Sandy. I would LOVE to see a black Danny or black Sandy. Wouldn't it be awesome for them to have the balls to make that type of casting? I want my interracial Grease, dammit! Don't wait until it's blackified, like "Love Don't Cost A Thing" was the black "Can't Buy Me Love" . Not that there's anything wrong with race flipping a project, I'm currently working on a piece called White Barbershop.

The tryouts consist of singing, cuts, dancing, cuts, and then 50 get to go to Grease Academy where they will undergo dance, singing, and acting workshops. They repeatedly referred to this as "The Prestigious Grease Academy". Prestigious. To quote Andre the Giant in the Princess Bride, "You use that word a lot. I don't think it means what you think it means"

In a strange twist, the Not-Seacrest, Billy Bush, broke the plane and intervened with a judges decision. It involved a young hottie named Fawn LeDesma. Her audition was terrible but she had a great look. Billy Bush was the first to greet her off stage and offered her a hankie to boot. He was just beside himself and swore that the judges got it wrong. Yeah, the judges got it wrong. Oh, Not-Seacrest we see through your ruse! Anyway, Not-Seacrest actually goes on stage and pleads Fawn's case to the judges, who reluctantly give her another chance. Fawn gets her second chance and her voice cracks. As does Not-Seacrest's plan to get into young Fawn's pants. Nice try though Not-Seacrest. You can't fuck 'em if they aren't around.
To tell you the truth, I probably would have done the same damn thing.

The beauty of this show is that, unlike American Idol, looks do matter and the judges will be justified in eliminating the singing, dancing, and acting, triple threat dynamos if they happen to be uggos! Sandy and Danny have to be attractive and This could lead to the best looking reality competition cast ever!

They spent an hour in L.A. and only in 30 mins in Chicago. I thought that was weird even if the wannabe ratio between the two cities is probably 1000:1

The producer, David Ian, makes all the cuts with "You're..." (Pause) followed by "...not Sandy/Danny" or "...the one that we want to go to Grease Academy" . Note to reality show producers... I HATE THOSE PAUSES!!! IT'S NOT DRAMATIC, IT JUST BUILDS HATE!!!

All in all, this show looks promising. I'll definitely be watching initially , with reviews to follow. Next week is New York. See you then SUCKAS!

Tags: Grease You're the One That I Want, Grease