So You Think You Can Dance: The Top 16

Sorry about not blogging results show last week, though we did see the return of Shane Sparks in the group number which included a rare "Check out my tain't" move from Marquis, I ignored the male flamenco dancer, was simultaneously aroused and disgusted by Flo Rida's backup dancers and the return of my favorite: The contrived Jidge's conference shot.


After a WTF? comparison of the dancers Kobe Bryant of all people (Nigel, tell me how my ass tastes) we lost "Hot Teacher" Suzie and her partner Marquis. They were pretty low on my SYTYCD food chain so I'm not offended enough to stop blogging. On to this week's Soyouthinkyoucandance?



Our Jidges tonight are Creepy Uncle Nigel, Mary "Fake Bake" Murphy and Adam "Hairspray" Shankman. Adam mentions he just finished choreographing an Adam Sandler movie in which he casted Lacey and Travis from prior seasons. What he doesn't mention is that he's already worked with one of the dancers he'll be jidging tonight. I...call...SHENANIGANS! Twitch was a dancer in "Hairspray"! Shouldn't they at least address it for the sake of clearing any possible bias? I'm starting to get that feeling again, Show. I'll be keeping my eye on you.

There's a mention of Cyd Charisse and her passing. Then it's on to the routines where we'll also get to see what secrets the partners are willing to dish to Ameriker.

Up first is Twitchington. Instead of telling Ameriker that her partner was in "Hairspray", she instead dishes that Twitch laughs like a bear. Nu-UH! We get clips of Twitch laughing and sounding nothing like a bear...Kherington clarifies that if a bear could laugh that they would sound like Twitch or something. Loathing! Twitch reveals that Kherington has a shopping problem and has 427 pairs of shoes. HA! Them women be SHOPPING! This segment so far? Sucking.

They'll be doing a Napoleon and Tabitha Hip-Hop piece tonight. Apparently, tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak. They warn Twitch about coming down to match Kherington's novice level Hip-Hop. OF course, by the end of the training they proclaim that Kherington is kicking Twitch's ass. Whatever.

So they're in orange jumpsuits...I gotta stop right here...I don't know how I feel about NappyTabs style of narrative Hip-Hop routines. I don't necessarily want or need story lines in my Hip-Hop. I can be quite happy with "This girl is wearing pants. Look, she's got too much booty in them."

So to Busta Rhymes " Don't Touch Me" they run around pretending to be on the lam. The jumpsuits really help Kherington hide any awkwardness. This is just "okay" no spectacular moves. The song was actually a Hip-Hop song this time and allowed for some really hard hitting moves. Sadly there weren;t any to be seen. It was too "yacht-hop" for me, just a little too smooth. It had the annoying pantomime of the lyrics which is apparently a tm of Nappytabs. It was good for what it was so expect the slurp job from the Jidges.

Here we go, Nigel says he'll start of with the positives, counts the positives on one hand, and then proclaims no negatives! Mary says they're going to be on STYYCD's Top Ten Most Wanted. She said Kheri brought it and Twitch was great in his own style. They get a Mary scream. Adam gives tips, which is actually refreshing. Twitch needs to help Kherington more, they have a good sense of dance timing and Kheri needs to watch breaking character.

WTF? Kherington is now wearing neon green frameless glasses. I think I hate them now. Here's a new feature, their SYTYCD "vote for me" mugging shot.

Now it's Rumba time with Courtney G. and Gev. First Courtney fills us in that, when he was little Gev looked like a girl. Well he did...and I laughed.


Unfortunately, Gev doesn't lie and reveal that Courtney is cheating on her boyfriend with him, instead he takes the high and honest road and says she's in school to be a special ed. teacher and it shows what a good person she is. They're working with Tony Merideth and Melanie. The highlight of the training montage is the Gev working Courtney's side boobs and then being instructed to grab her butt. Gev is again lovin' it.

I think I sense a trend here, which will be confirmed if Courtney has to suck on Gev's fingers next week.

They rumba to "Wishing on A Star" by Rose Royce which always brings me back to afternoons listening to Kiss-108 in Boston. Which probably means I'll be in a good mood for a few minutes. It's actually really well done. It's got an improved hotness quality from last week. It doesn't hurt that Courtney's half dress is smokin'. The crowd absolutely goes apeshit when Gev grabs Courtney's ass, which must be awkward for everyone involved.

Nigel was very happy with it and loves them as a couple. He snarks at the butt-grab and says Gev reminded Him of Dominick from last season. He of course, mentions Courtney's dress. Mary thought it was great and actually gets technical and mentions some of the difficulty in their routine . I like this Mary so much better. Adam loved it as well, and gives advice. Gev needs to watch his hands if he does contempoary, Courtney needs to work on her arabesque. Mary and Nigel fake dozing off.


Comfort and Chris, who barely survived last week. Comfort thinks that Chris is a big moocher of food.

Comfort used to be a pageant girl when she was younger. Tyce get to fuck with them this week and they're doing Jazz with sheets! It's supposed to be African Jazz, which doesn't make any sense aesthetically. I can feel the pull of the bottom three already. Chris is hoping for a Mary scream.

I am curious to what the music will be for this one...Hmmm Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People". Exactly what I think off when I think of African Jazz. Poor Chris and Comfort. Given the right choreo they really could have ripped shit up.


Instead they're left with doing African Jazz hands all over the place. They aslo don't do anything really exciting with the sheets. This is the closest thing to a trainwreck since the jewel heist piece in week one.

Nigel was letdown by the "capes". He was disappointed with the lack of energy and it was too soft. Mary thought it should have been wilder and crazy. Hmm I agree. What's going on here. She then tells Chris she's not getting a scream. Adam thought their performance was lacking and they weren't feeling the music though them. He declares it "on the chain" Chris ends up beggin' like a strawberry.


The Disco Ruler mysteriously ended up on my desk which can only mean Dorianna Sanchez is up next with...Jessiker and Will. Will gives up that Jessiker's nickname is "Ariel" because she resemebled "The Little Mermaid" and sadly, not the sorceress from "Thundarr the Barbarian".

Anyway he thinks the concept of being nicknamed after the "Little Mermaid" is just CRAZY! Jessica's big secret is that Will is a (gasp) gentleman. It's just scandalous here this week.

Jessica is kinda emo about her critiques last week and the general feeling that she's in Will's shadow. Doriana makes it a point that she's gonna highlight Jessica, but she's just not absorbing things. This just seems like damage control for the sake of keeping Will out of the bottom three. Jessica get ready for your first slurp job tonight.

The song is "Heaven Must Have Sent You" by Bonnie Pointer. Awesome! A non-obvious disco song! They really are pulling out all the stops for Jessiker this week. This routine was supposed to highlight Jessica but really all eyes are on Will. I'll admit that Will knocked it out of the park tonight. He's really that good. Jessica, not so much. Instead of a cunniliftus or a flying gyno, we get an airplane spin which was actually pretty cool.

Nigel...is pretty critical of some of their tricks, but said they carried them off. Mary thought it was an extremely difficult and that Will owned the routine. She says Jessica stepped up to the plate. Adam points out that Jessica might be her own worst enemy and she shouldn't be because she's beatiful and a great dancer. He says Will is scary and so good. Will gives a Travolta point on request.


It's our 12 feet of dance! Matt reveals Kourtni's tattoo on the back of her neck...which is actually pretty cool.

Matt on the other hand wears a ninja mask from time to time leads me to believe that he really wishes he was a member of Supercr3w.


We get a new choreographer this week in Sonya!


I mean this with every fiber of my being. HAWT! She gives Matt some sword strikes when he tries to front on her dojo with his ninja mask on which makes her even that much more attractive. Her piece is about two comic book heroes chasing and flirting with each other. Let's hope Matt and Kourtni aren't supposed to be Filipino heroes otherwise they would explode at the end of the piece. I'm really looking forward to this.

Ugh. They come out to "Wrestlers" by Hot Chip...costuming just ruins it. Instead of looking like comic book heroes they look like two assholes. It's quirky and they're jumping all over the place and tie-grabbing. The look really killed it for me though.

Nigel thought they looked comfortable with the style. He thinks Ameriker is too stupid to get it while dancers will love it. Mary screeches something good about it and thought it was a good showcase for them. Adam loved Kourtni's control and thought they were great dancers. He blasts wardrobe for putting Kourtni in a shopping bag. Word.

Now to the part in the recap where I cut corners.

Chelsea and Thayne: Secrets: Chelsea steals flowers. Thayne embroiders his own t-shirts. I guess Thayne is a pansy isn't really a secret.

Quick Step + Phil Collins + The Charleston - the move where you put your hands over your knees as you knock them together = Bottom Three.

Nigel says get your solos ready. Mary gives a retarded gravity filled speech about how Chelsea is now off the HTT and Thayne is now barely hanging on. I don't care what Adam has to say unless it involves strangling Mary.


Let's see who's left...

Oh yeah, Chelsie and Mark are doing hip-hop this week, but before we get into that Mark has crooked pinkies and Chelsie is a tomboy. Napoleon and Tabitha admit that they choreograph to match the lyrics and he sings out "I-Don't-Care-what-they-say" which means that this is gonna be to Leona Lewis' "Bleeding the Love"

According to the script. Mark plays a workaholic and Cheslie is his clingy housewife. The costumes however suggest the dance they're doing tonight is the "Forbidden Love of Danny and D.J. Tanner"


Seriously! What is up with the costume people this season? 'Kay, just a few paragraphs ago I dismissed the storytelling in hip hop dance. I don't necessarily take it back, but what Tabatha and Napoleon have done best on this show has been to tell relationship stories. Mark and Chelsie were just as good if not better than Katee and Joshua in the "No Air" piece. It's watered down hip-hop but it's still entertaining.

Nigel raves and takes a litle dig at America's Best Dance Crew. Mary gets all serious about the problem of work interfering with relationships. Adam labels them the couple to beat. I agree, which means they'll be gone on Top 8 week.


Joshua and Katee? Oh yeah, they danced and got their tounge bath. Kate is actually sexy and Joshua and his dad have big bums.


Fine, if you have to know. They danced the Samba and it was pretty good but it didn't cure cancer as the judges would have you believe.


Okay my favorites tonight:
Chelsie and Mark
Courtney and Gev
Twitchington

Bottom Three:

Chris and Comfort
Chelsea and Thayne
Matt and Kourtni

I'm willing to go as far as to predict that Chelsea and Chris get sent home so they can keep Comfort and Thayne.