So You Think You Can Dance: Top 18

A few days ago I heard a rumor about last season (no I'm not going to repeat it here suckas) that justifies every suspicion that this show is rigged beyond belief for certain people. It's one of the main reasons I stopped SYTYCD blogging for a few weeks. What's the other reason you ask? Heroin. Sweet, sweet heroin. Anyway, this season, hopefully, will ease up on the blatant dance politics favoritism and if they do play favorites, i hope it's with contestants that are actually likable.

Now on with this weeks recap of So You Think You Can Dance: The Top 18 suckas!


Cat comes out in a smokin' hot black dress and looks lovely as always. She's still sticking with the audience participation schtick where the crowd is expected to complete "Let's meet your____" It falls flat...again. Mia is the third judge and describes this cast as "banoodles" as in this shit is banoodles b-a-n-o-o-d-l-e-s ...where did I put that heroin? Since there's there's the requisite 15 minutes or so of bullshit to fill and the Pussycat Dolls can't be on every week, they're going to ask the dancers their favorite and least favorite thing about their partners.


Chelsea T. and Thayne are up first. Thayne thinks it's great that Chelsea is so positive. Chelsea thinks Thayne is generally happy and that balances her sassy side. Chelsea's kinda narcoleptic since she sleeps whenever their supposed to meet and Thayne is a bit superstitious and has to knock on wood for good luck constantly.

They're doing a jazz routine by Mandy Moore, and it's theme is forbidden love between a king and the other role isn't really quite mentioned, so we don't know if Chelsea is supposed to be from a rival kingdom, a lowers social class, or simply a black Jamaican-American. We get some extended clips of Thayne knocking on wood...maybe his real problem is ADD.

Luckily, we had it all explained to us before hand, because without the intro I would have no idea that this piece was supposed to tell a story. I mean a poofy shirt, eyeshadow, and a pocket chain do not a king make. It's not really getting the forbidden love idea across either..there's a green feather or leaf involved? Was there something I missed in history class?

Mia loved the concept but hated the execution. She said Thayne was too dumpy and not regal at all and lacked power. She then states "you've been kicked off the (hot tamale) train. Mary said it didn't have any impact and lacked chemistry. Mary relegates them to the (hot tamale) caboose as a reward for their poor performance. Nigel said it wasn't real and said the costume didn't help and that Chelsea looked like a clown and to make a train metaphor trifecta,says the train jumped the tracks.


Mark and Chelsie H. are in the dos spot tonight. Mark loves the scent of Chelsea's hair. Chelsie thinks that Mark;s best feature is that he's quirky. Chelsie thinks that his reserved nature makes him tough to partner with at times. He thinks she's like a pestering little sister at times.

They get Alex and Argentine Tango tonight...I wonder if there will be the usual kick in the nuts move? Anyway they confirm that the brother-sister feeling makes the close dancing weird. Chelsie hits him a bunch, but no kick in the nuts move tonight.

Their Tango starts out with some traditional tango accordion music, but then a funky beat drops. This is actually entertaining. Chelsie has great legs and does most of the work. I think Mark's quirkiness is his best asset since he's probably the best actor out of all the dancers, so if he's out of his element he can throw himself into a role and fake it. After seeing Thayne look more like a queen than a king, this talent cannot be understated.

Somehow Chelsie's pinky toe gets out of her shoe and Cat gets on her knees and fixes it. She's so awesome. Mia is in love with the two of them. Mary loved everything about that. She thought Chelsie's legwork was great and that Mark looked like a movie star tonight. Nigel fakes a negative comment with a groan but thought it was actually great. He felt that sweet little Cheslie wasn't sleazy enough to appease his filthy daydreaming during the routine. Nigel shouldn't be allowed near young girls.


Will and Jessica have hip hop with Cecily and Olisa. Will loves Jessica's personality and picks his mood up. She loves his focus, but sometimes he's too serious and internal. He thinks she's got confidence problems. Now what I remember about these choreographers is they let the female show off a bit. Alison had a great performance with them in Season Two.

Ugh...I spoke too soon about the Pussycat Dolls since they're performing to Nicole Sherzingwhatever. The routine involves chairs and Will and Jessica and they jump around and the steps are definitely women friendly. Will looks comfortable and Jessica is workin' it. There's no story or cool partner tricks, they just switch hats around alot. It's pretty good, just nothing new.

Okay to get the full effect of the the judges critiques you must do this while you read them. Make a fist with your hand and hold it in front of your face. Slowly move the hand towards your mouth and while doing so push your tongue against the side of your cheek. Mia tells Jessica with a partner like Will she has to set herself on fire to get any attention. She says Will is so powerful and is so much to match and she needs to step it up. She calls Will a genius. Mary agrees with Mia. She calls Will a dancing machine and that he is a force. Nigel agrees, but sticks up for Jessica, and says Will is going to be in the final. So to sum it up it's "slurp slurp slurp slurp" "Jessica killed a puppy with her bare hands" "We already have a chosen one, and he's nicer than Danny, so suck on it Ameriker"

Next up is our 12 ft. of dance Kourtni and Matt. Matt professes that "She has the best eyes" and Kourtni loves "that he is always complimenting me". Shallow much? She says he can't sing, Matt thinks she's tone deaf. They get Jean-Marc and a Fox Trot this week and he goes off into this rant on how this is a dangerous routine and then justifies every stereotypical French-Canadian imitation known to man. "Meh deh meh deh pleaze don't cresh!"

Fox trot...um yeah, not much but an untrained opinion, that I kinda liked it, but I don't know why or even why it's just "kinda"

Mia thought it was old Hollywood elegant and that Kourtni only shows strength when her leg is in the air...shush twelve year old Paj! She also thinks that she needs to own her size and length which causes me to do a Deuce Bigalow yell of "Hey Bigfoot!" Mary loved the choreography, but it was a mixed bag and that the turns were good but the foot work wasn't there. Nigel compliments Matt on being able to lift his Amazon partner and thought his arms were "twee" and that their facials were very fake. He liked it though.

Next our resident cute couple is up next Gev and Courtney G. Courtney digs that Gev is really strong. Gev goes for the obvious and says the best thing about Courtney is that she's really pretty and the worst thing about her is that she has a boyfriend. There's so much awesome behind that statement. What's the worst thing about your partner Gev? Um, we won't be hittin' it later. She says he's short. there's a bit about Gev wearing man-thong.
Meanwhile Courtney is rockin' the Valerie Bertinelli look and I keep expecting Schneider and his awesome tool belt to hop on by. Mandy Moore plays both choreographer and trouble maker for the Cutesies. She gives them a love story and she makes the comment that there's a connection there and that Gev really likes Courtney. Gev gives Mandy a thumbs up for the inanimateness she put in the piece.

It's a contemporary piece and they are pretty much all over each other> Courtney makes some pretty constipated facials which bother me. It's a slow slow piece and i guess it's okay. No real heat though.

Cat disagrees with me though and has goosebumps. Mia loves Mandy's choreo. She thinks that the performance was too jazzified. She expected her to melt into him more and that she was the man in the relationship. Mia was proud of Gev and that his movement was believable. Mary loves it and woos and I tune her out. Nigel Freuds that Gev has more emotion for Courtney outside of the dance than during the routine. So now we know who the Jidges have labeled as year's "Couple we want you to think are hittin' it". Interesting...sucks to be Courtney and her boyfriend right now.

Joshua and Katee (no J-Man I am not calling her "Asian") are up next and seem to be the favorites coming in from last week. Katee loves that Joshua is a caring partner and Joshua loves her smile. Joshua is always picking on her and Katee is always doing this dumb dance. Oh wait, no joke, Katee's dance is actually a pose we used to call the "suck me" pose.

So Tyce is in charge this week and it's Broadway. He's got them running around and they do a catalog of their various moves like "Mixing the Bowl" "Playing the Trombone"...wait this reminds of Andy Dick's telling of "The Aristocrats.

So they're doing a bit from "Godspell" and they are in 30's garb and high energy and they really do run around on stage...a lot. Joshua looks like he's got Demolition face paint on his eye, while Katee has a teardrop on her face, which I think means she killed someone in prison who tried to attack her or something. Anyway this was fun, they looked off in some spots, but the crowd is going apeshit.

Oh no Nigel is up and prancing around. Here comes another slurpie! Nigel freaks out over Joshua dancing Broadway because he's a popper. Um Nigel if we're aware that Joshua is more than a popper, you shouldn't be trying to pull that snowjob on us. He loves Katee's beautiful spirit and calls it entertainment at his best. I'm ignoring Mary now, because she's just annoying. Mia thought the connection between them is unreal. She puts Joshua into the Top 4. Ugh.

They jump into Marquis who says Susie has so much energy and that she always has an energy drink in her hand. Susie likes that Marquis is a goofball. She doesn't like that he's always eating and gets all in her face with his stank Sunchip breath. hE doesn't like getting smacked with Susie's hair.

They are doing an Alex de Silva Salsa routine so I guess this should ne up Susie's element. Heh, Susie starts complaining that she can't do some of the moves. Alex says to the camera that She's not really a salsa dancer and that she dances "street salsa" Susie overhears this and starts crying over the fact that she over heard him saying that she was a "street dancer"

Well, she kinda mis- air quoted him, but it doesn't matter because they start sucking in their dance immediately. It looks all awkward and Susie is just flailing around.

Mia loved the choreography but wasn't crazy about the performance. Marquis was rubbery and that Susie was hot didn't get what she wanted. Mary is back to normal (sorta) thought Susie was disappointing and there was no chemistry. Nigel thought it the Cuban and Puerto Rican Fire Brigade but the fire out before the routine started.

It's Twitchington time! Twitch likes the fact that Kherington tends to think everything is alwayss going to be okay, because he tends to freak out. Kherington loves that Twitch is muscular and that he can lift her. Twitch doesn't like Kherington's leg strength because he's Sir Kickedintthefacealot. She hates his eyeglass frames sans lenses. Seriously Twitch, what the hell? That's dumber than Kherington's "h".

Uh oh we have an early "very special" dance routine ala Mia's Dead Father Dance. Apparently Jean Marc's daughter has a condition where she lost all of her motor skills and she reacts strongest when people dance. So this Viennese Waltz is dedicated to uplifting his daughter.

I like the idea of not going to Hell so I'll just say that they danced dewinely. Well, except for Twitch looked heavy on his heels. They're also both barefoot. Oh yeah and Kherington with her hair that way looks like a slimmer version of an ex-girlfriend. Whose breakup kinda sorta sent me seeking therapy. Sigh...stupid "very special" dance routines. I will say that it was very touching and a nice moment for the show.

Mia thought Kherington needed more reality on the routine since she smiled a bit too much for her taste. Nigel interrupts her and disagrees on the purpose of the dance. Mia gets kind of pissy that she was cut off. Kherington and Twitch get some input. Mary is a crying mess. Nigel actually gives some interesting history of the Viennese Waltz and thought the routine was beautiful. So of course after a touching tender emotional routine, Twitchington still has to do this ...

unbelievable.

Comfort and Chris bump as out dancing Krump but they looked like effeminate Cowboys. We'll see...Comfort likes that Chris is humble.Chris likes Comfort's versatility. He thinks she talks so fast. She doesn't like that he's sweaty and he doesn't like that it get all over her face.

Lil C is back with some Krump, which is usually a mixed bag. Of course Chris has never Krumped before...

And it shows. Again the song hurts the routine. It's a Timbaland joint and it's just okay. Chris does look like a fish out of water. This routine looks so watered down and palatable for what they think the audience wants. It just doesn;t work There's nothing there that keeps the attention. Another whiff for Krump on this show.

Mia is a big Comfort fan. She thought Chris worked hard this week and pulled it off. Mary is just kinda meh on everything and thought Comfort could have hit it harder. Nigel just goes on this embarrassing rant on Krump and how he wants it hard and tells Chris his Grandma is more gangsta than him. Nigel wanted Nigel to get his Hulk on and then gets up and does a shitty crotch grab.

Ugh. Nigel and Mary are ruining this show. Maybe they'll decide the rest of the top 4 next week.