So You Think You Can Dance: The Top 10

There's so much to cover tonight with ten routines and ten solos. First off, the big news is that Jessica has suffered broken ribs and is out of the competition. Either Will dropped her during the disco a few weeks ago or the Jidges took a baseball bat to her for dragging Lord Will St. Dancington into the bottom three last week. I was suprised the Jidges didn't point that she was likely to be the girl eliminated this week, so the injury isn't a big deal.

So out goes Jessica, in goes Comfort and all the couples that we've grown accustomed to are now banished into the realm of SYTYCD fanfic. Even without the Jesscia injury, this would have been a whole night full of shenanigans. We're just going with bullet points tonight because there was some serious bullshit going on. I'm also going to roll a little old school and pick myself up with tasteless screenies of the female dancers which have nothing to do with the context of what I'm typing.


Mark and Kherington picked the Country Two Step? Seriously, what the fuck? I can understand new dances introduced during the early part of the season but really, Country Two Step for a top ten show? The problem I have with this is that you could have had the two greatest Country Two Steppers perform on the show and they would have still looked like assholes. In fact, chances are if the two greatest country two steppers in the world auditioned for the show they wouldn't make it to Vegas. Let's get real here! There are styles of dance that are more crowd pleasing than others. If you are given Lindy Hop, Steps, Quickstep, Viennese Waltz, Smooth Waltz, Dan Karaty hip-hop, and yes, Country Two Step, no matter how well it's danced you are hosed and the reaction will likely be a big fat "Meh". So yeah, Mark and Kherington didn't even come close to dancing it well, but it really didn't matter, they were screwed from the beginning. It didn't really help my disposition towards the routine when I saw that the choreographer was pregnant.


In contrast we have Will, the pre-ordained SYTYCD champion and the reality TV equivalent of a shot HgH he got this week. First, he was paired with Katee, who was one of the two girls who have avoided the bottom three. Then Desmond Richardson, supposedly one of the greatest dancers alive, decides to slum it and choreograph for a week and Will and Katee just happen to pull it out of the dance hat. Then they just happen to dance to David Archuletta's "Imagine" a recording which we were told for the last six months on American Idol "Up yours John Lennon, little David's version is the best song ever to grace human ears". You know there's a reason Blake, Travis, and Danny all came up short. If you try to manipulate the best guy and try to turn him into the most popular guy as well, people will turn on them. This is Ameriker and we like our reality show winners to be scrappy underdogs.

As if Archuletta and his shitty "Imagine" weren't enough, we also had to hear "Hero", by Enrique, the usual sellouts to SYTYCD Chris Brown, Celine Dion, Brian Setzer, and TWO Rhianna songs, neither of which were "Umbrella". Poor Mark and Kherington also had to dance to not only country, but Jamiroquai's Vote For Pedro song from Napoleon Dynamite. The worst moment had to be when Twitch and Comfort had to dance a Waltz to Journey's "Open Arms". They couldn't have been more like fishes out of water if they were on ice skates, in an Ambercrombie and Fitch, set in a Brendan Fraser movie.

Congratulations Tyce, your shitty choreography has now hit Dorianna Sanchez and Dan Karaty levels. Will and Katee did a piece to "Rockin' the Boat" where they actually danced in a boat, but then when they left the boat supposedly they werent in the ocean but on solid ground. Why the hell would you care about rockin' the boat when it's on land. Couldn't you have at least pretended that they were in the water when they were out of the boat. OF course the judges loved it. Then he goes on and give Mark and Kherington a Jazz piece with no story and no theme. Really? Like Jazz isn't a hard enough sell. This is the top ten where the audience half expects every routine to be elaborate in it's storytelling to really please the crowd. Of course Mark and Kherington got dinged for not showing any character in their dance. It's like blaming Katie Holmes for her terrible acting when...wait that's a bad example. Still, way to mail it in Tyce.

Nigel was pretty much ridiculous as usual tonight. First the "Gev isn't over Courtney" bit which was just an assy thing to say. Then there was the Will and Katee mistake in their ballet piece that was glossed over by his claiming that the mistake was a good thing otherwise the routine would have been so good they would have nothing else to live for.


As far as the routines went there weren't any real trainwrecks other than the Twitchfort Smooth Waltz, both Mark and Kherington pieces, and Will and Katee's Broadway. The solos for the most part were pretty much on par the level of each dancer. Kherington's was probably the weakest of the night.


There were several good things about the show. I liked Lil C as a guest judge even though he slipped into prisoner with a thesarus mode at times. He referred to Courtney as "eloquent" when he must have meant elegant, since Courtney wasn't saying a damn word at the time. Still he was fair in his critiques and managed to give the viewer insight on how a dancer and chorographer would actually see the piece.


Dave Scott was back on hip-hop and hit a home run with both of his numbers. His pieces were hard hitting, told a story, and were very entertaining. Comfort and Twitch were the best of the night. I've enjoyed some of NappyTabs work but they shouldn't be called hip-hop. Call them Pop, R and B, or Clingy Emo, just don't call them Hip Hop no mo.


I thought the best number of the night was actually Gev and Chelsie's Sonja contemporary. "These Arms of Mine" , the costuming, the lighting, all of it reminded me of the the Don johnson and Virginia Madsen movie "The Hot Spot" where it's all about sweaty sex. Nigel likened it to a diner where the customer hangs out and seduces a waitress...not quite the porn scenario I was thinking of, but it did inspire that kind of mindset.


Predictions:
Bottom three guys:
Mark
Gev
Will only so we can see the judges rant on dumb Ameriker



Bottom Three Girls:
Comfort
Kherington
Courtney



I'm thinking Gev and Kherington are the next ones to go. I find it hard to believe that a guy like Mark can go from avoiding the bottom three to being eliminated. We'll see though. Time for me to split.