So You Think You Can Dance: The Top 12

Aight, now we're getting down to serious bidness on this show. This is the last week of established couples and the last week that the Jidges will have any direct effect on who gets eliminated. So I'm preemptively calling shenanigans right now because you know that there's going to be some serious manipulation before we get to the Top Ten. Already it's starting out wierd as my local weatherman cuts off the dancer intro just to remind the viewers that it's 8 pm and 103 degrees outside. No tornado, flood, or, fire warning, just that it's hot. Good lookin' out, yo.

Cat is very subdued in her look this week with straight hair and a pastel dress that the guys all try to flip up like they're in sixth grade and in catholic school. She looks great though. Our Jidges are Nigel the Perv, Annoying Mary, and Mia the bitch. No time to dick around this week with 12 routines so we hit the ground running with Mark and Chelsie.

They've given up on the themed rehearsal footage and are just playing it straight. TC and M's favorite couple is going to start out with an Alex Da Silva Salsa routine. This should be right in Chelsie's wheelhouse being a latin dancer and all. Mark should be okay since he's done well in character partnering pieces all season long. Alex is promising a very "hip" salsa this week. Whenever I think of someone trying to ass "hip" to a latin dance I always think that they're going to add "We Will Rock You" to the mix. Chelsie promises some sick tricks and apparently we're going to see a dangerous lift. See this is much better than "Twitch laughs like a bear" bs we've been getting backstage the last few weeks.

Chelsie's wearing this half dress with a feathered boa as a tail which both hides her ass and accentuates it at the same time. Lot's of turns in series which I think is impressive and Chesie's legs are a pleasure to watch. Mark looks like he's hunched up in the shoulders but facially he looks like he's into character. There's a cunniliftus to the side and the big drop to the floor, which was the dangerous trick they were referring to, takes place after the music stops. Kinda strange. Another solid perfomance from these two and they're still my favorite couple.

Nigel thought Mark's upper body was tight, he liked their footwork as a pair. Nigel pervs out on Chelsie's outfit and remarks that he would be tense if he was dancing with her. The salsa worked for Mary, and actually gets technical with the ballroom, SHe thought Chelsie was beautiful dynamite. Mia creeps out and says Chelsie is so gorgeous that she just wants to stab her. WTF? It's all like "hey baby you look soo hot!" then you take a knife to the eye. Why do I watch this show? Mia thought Mark was awkward but couldn't place why. She thought it was a great performance though.

Comfort and Thayne are next with a NappyTabs fake hip-hop routine. Now I saw this preview for a show where Napoleon and Tabitha are going to choreograph newlyweds for their first dance at the reception. Are all the dances going to be about clingy brides who can't be apart from their husband's ? Can you really be a true hip-hop choreographer and take that gig? I'm almost hoping for Dan Karatay to come back. Okay, I didn't mean that. During rehearsal COmfort is happy and Thayne can't stop smiling. Then there's a lot of shot of the "put your hand over your mouth and reveal a different expression than the the one you had before" move, which I hate. I don't like Comfort and Thayne. I really don't like Napoleon and Tabither.

The song is "Can We Chill" by Ne-Yo and it's going to be hip-hop lite AGAIN! There really isn't a narrative, which means the only redeeming quality of Nappytabs choreo is missing. Comfort dances so smoothly that it makes Thayne look really goofy and awkward by comparison. OF course the grinning like crazy doesn't help much either. I guess there was a little story reveal when Comfort reveals a ring at the end. Thayne act all upset but it's more of the "Aw Damn her boyfriend has a girlfriend" variety. Whatever. BOTTOM THREE

Nigel starts to compare Thayne and Comfort's routine to the Workaholic routine and they actually cut to a clip of it. That's kinda wrong. Then he goes on to say that what he just saw sucked compared to that one. He thought it was danced okay , but didn't relate to each other and banishes them to the Bottom 3. Mary harps on the lack of chemistry and compares them to Napoleon and Tabitha who are connected even when they are apart. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT WHEN SHE WON'T LET HIM GO NOWHERE!!?! It was just good. Mia thought it was a little better than good. She says she's jumped off the Comfort bandwagon because she's not bringing it. She thought Thayne was a little thin.

Ugh it's Tyce Diorio with a piece laced with the essence of the "Garden of Eden" . For Jessica and Will I guess it's has added symbolism as Will is the father of all dance and Jessica is the creator of all that is evil in the world. Poor Jessica. From the looks of the clips it looks like there's going to be a a lotta rolling around on the ground .

Will is wearing a loin cloth and Jessica looks like she's having a hot flash . The song is "Silence" from the UnFaithful Soundtrack and it's very Enya-y. There's alot of flow to this piece, but the meat of it is pretty much simulated sex. I think I would find watching real sex between Jessica and Will boring, so yeah I almost fell asleep during this. IT's the kinda of artsy fartsy dance that I hate and would never pay to watch

Nigel gives Tyce a slurp job and remarks of the eroticism. He says that Jessica is finally keeping up with him which is almost ghostly in it's praise. Mary thought it was one of the best pieces ever on the show. Mary also thought Jessica held her own this week. Mia loved that they went to a different place with the piece. She compliments Jessica which means she won't be hanging her self in the dressing room tonight. Tyce gets more praise than Will.

Cat pimps the tour briefly and we get to Courtney and Gev who are doing the Cha Cha. Cat promises old firends of the show and it's Pascha and Anya! Man, I forgot about Anya's hotness...anyway Gev speaks Russian with Pascha about giving her the "message" which is a hip thrust in Courtney's booty. Week after week Gev just happens to be the luckiest man on television.

Rhianna's "Please Don't Stop the Music" starts up...this is a cha cha right? The dancing is fast paced and with the music comes off as very disco-like without the lifts. I have no idea what makes this chacha. What I do know is that Courtney is half naked and looks smokin' this week.

Nigel thought Courtney lives up to Anya's sexiness. He thought Gev pursed his lips a bit much. He thinks that as a couple they are perfect for each other. Mary screams and breaks out into a Jimmy Durante Cha Cha Cha and I stuck a pen in my eye. There's some criticism on the technique but the performance overcame that . Then there's a hot tamale train scream. Mia thoguht it was "fabulosity at it's best". She says that there are better dancers on the show but there are great as a couple. Apparently, Gev shaved his chest and I go take a pee break.

Whoa Crumping and Lil C are back again and Twitchington are the victims this week. We get the usual fish out water scenes with Kherington saying things like "I can get buck" Hmm Lil C's assistant is a cutie! Not much more to this footage.

"2 Buck 4 TV" starts up and Twitch pulls Kherington on the stage and they hit the dance steps...HARD! Finally happy to see some real aggressive street dancing on this show. Suck it Nappytabs! Kherington's got her mad face on which equals HAWT! Twitch looked right at home even though he's not really a Krumper. He just finally been let loose where he can just go. They do this really cool chest pop thing and it's looking like this is the routine of the season. Then Kherington...got tired. She's suddenly transformed onto Kourtni from last week. She barely makes it through the last 1/4 of the routine.

Nigel conveniently says he's just going to ignore that part because he thought it was great! Really? You can ignore someone sucking for a good part of the routine? i mean I've become of Kherington fan, but this type of favoritism is the show at it's worst. SHENANIGANS! MAry says she's become a Krump fan. Mia goes off on her street cred soliloquy as she praises Twitch and he served Gangsta on a platter. Since when do gangstas dance? Mia also ignores Kherington's exhaustion and it looks like they are one of the couples the jidges want to see at the end.

Katee and Joshua get a Viennese Waltz with Jean Marc Genereaux without the sad family backstory . This time it's a sad cliched backstory where Katee is dancing with Joshua who is a ghost. Pirate ghost would have been much cooler.

THe Goo Goo Dolls "Iris" start playing and already the wavy lines of TC and M time travel start. Reminds me of my homegirl back in the Yay who started dating this guy around her birthday. I always thought the guy was shady and kinda of a loser. Anyway, I remember getting her 20 lbs of Jelly Bellies since she they were her favorites and she started gushing over how that was the greatest present that she had gotten. I played it off and asked what her new beau got her and she goes "A fucking GOO GOO Dolls CD" as she flung it across the room. Of course the relationship was doomed and of course he somehow blamed me for the break up. The best part was that on the night she dumped him we went to our bar to celebrate, meanwhile he also went to the SAME bar to commiserate. She thought it was too awkward and wanted to jet, but I made her stay long enough while I played "Name" on the jukebox as he sat there crying in his Guinness. Since I played it seven times it was the best 5 bucks I ever spent. I am teh awesome! Oh yeah and Katee and Jshua waltzed.

They all thought it was bouncy. Various levels of praise for Katee and I'm so tired that I'll have to do the second half of this from work.