Tortilla Chips and Milk stream of consciousness review:
We still have two full hours of So You Think You Can Dance this week. Eight performances and almost a half an hour of filler CRAP. Clips of horrible auditions...sigh. A lindy hop performance by a group without any connection to the show...harmless, I guess. We get backstage-behind the scenes footage which is fun and we get some poolside shots...hey!
Alright, let's get to the performances now:
First, and in one of the key pimp spots, are Ben and Ashley, who have received twenty some-odd votes from me over the span of the last two weeks. They've been saddled with shitty routines and have been thrown out of their element. They have the quirkyness factor going for them and that usually means everything to me. They pick Hip-Hop out of the Dance Hat and Ashley is ecstatic. She's a popper and this should be right up her alley...not so fast Ashley.
They are working with a dude named Tod, who just screams jazz dancer who put hip-hop on his shingle just because he could. Nothing about him is hip-hop to me. After seeing the routine it makes sense. Ben and Ashley are doing a hip-hop routine to a shitty Usher R&B song which is not real hip-hop. It disgusts me that Hip-Hop in the last ten years has encompassed not only rap but shitty R&B. It seriously looks like a refined jazz routine with some street and poppin moves thrown in for shits and giggles. Really though...HATE! Okay, Ashley is great, Ben is pretty good too. My white hot rage kind of distorted my view of this routine.
Nigel says Ben wasn't so much street as "Rodeo Drive". Mary defends Ben and leurrrves Ashley, Cicely and Olisa thinks they pulled it off...Olisa ends the critique with a clap and a "Strange' " (stran-jay stupid lack of accented "e"s) Oh no she did-ehnt. A Boomerang reference? In 2006? FUCK YEAH!!!!
Next, we have Heidi and Ryan whose partnership was walking on the thinnest of lines last week. IMO Ryan should have been gone. They pick Cuban Rumba, which Heidi is confident it is a lot like American Rumba...really? Then why the HELL would they make the distinction then!!! Wouldn't it just be called "rumba" Einstein? Anyway, choreographer Alex laughs at the stupid American girl and then gets to work at turning these two into the Miami Sex Machine.
Okay, I wasn't the biggest fan of Ryan before this week, but both of them do a wonderful job with this. There's even a bit where Ryan plays the bongos on Heidi's bum. The routine is habenero hot and I really enjoyed seeing some chemistry out of this oil and water combo. Awesome.
The judges are bowled over and rightfully so. It was hot, had personality, and was fun to boot! In the context of the show, it was the perfect routine.
Boomerang Quote: "Are you telling me your parents are smoking pot in my bathroom?" "No my parents are in there, fucking!!!"
Next to go on are the refugees from the loser pit, Dmitry and Aleksandra, who have had one week to get it together. Tonight they are going to do a waltz. Heather Smith is the choreographer and creates a love story with the waltz. Dmitry is very complimentary towards his partner, while Aleks is a low-self esteem mess. From the rehearsal clips it seems like they've brought this together well.
They waltz to the elegant stylings of ... Kenny Rogers??? Okay you lost me there...seriously my mind wanders to first, "The Gambler" and I start singing "you've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em" in my head. Then I flashback to the time I had a Kenny Rogers Roasters lunch buffet, but it wasn't in a Kenny Rogers Roaster's, it was in a strip club. Then the routine is over.
Seems like I didn't miss much. Predictably, EVERYONE loves Dmitry and thinks he did a great job. Nigel says Aleks dances without a soul or for the less spiritual, a center. He goes so far to ask her if she's seen the movie "The Corpse Bride". I mean I agree, but DAMN that was harsh. Looks like the loser pit for those two tomorrow night.
Boomerang Quote: I don't understand how a woman that fine can have Hammertime in her feet.
Now it's time for my other favorite underdog couple, Ivan and Allison. Allison is simply adorable and she has an infectious energy that appeals to me more so than any other female dancer on the show. They are doing the Argentine Tango which is choreographed by Alex this week. Their last work with Alex was disastrous which was surprising since he does such a good job accentuating a pair's strengths.
Looks like Alex is back on track because Ivan and Allison kick ass. So much of the effectiveness of this routine is costuming. Ivan's youth is disguised by the suit and hat while Allison is wearing the minimum amount of material that can qualify to be called a dress. It's the perfect way to accentuate the strength of this pair...which is Allison. The routine is smokin' and is fun to watch...looks some other couples are bringing the hotness this week.
The judges think that Ivan has come a long way and praise Allison to the extent that Nigel says that Allison's performance was one of the best ever on the show. Mary says that Ivan is no longer a one trick pony but is now Sea Biscuit...um kay...Cicely and Olisa are familiar with these two and thinks Ivan should have looked like he wanted to eat her up. I think they've zoomed up the rankings this week.
Boomerang Quote: Remember that girl I met in the Emergency Room? Well, baby got her stitches out.
After trolling some So You Think You Can Dance message boards, apparently Benji and Donyelle are America's Sweethearts. There's waaay too much speculation about the pair...to me, from what I've seen any sexual tension between the two would be quite a stretch. They are going to be performing Jazz-Pop with Brian Friedman. More music video style story telling here. In this routine, Donyelle is going to be a Supermodel with whom DJ Benji becomes enamored with. Then we see Benji acting goofy all through rehearsals while Brian tells him he needs to man up if he's going to be believable.
For me the storytelling portion is a trainwreck. It's kinda like an NSYNC nightmare come to life. Benji does try to bring the sexual tension a bit, but the vibe doesn;t seem to be reciprocated. Maybe the internet posters are on to something...it bears watching. The dancing is solid but they've seemed to come down to earth a bit after building a lot of momentum in the first two weeks. Heh, after the performance Benji mauls Donyelle's neck, whoa maybe he does have it the hots for her after all?
It's the usual lovefest for these two from the judges. They get praise for developing a real partnership. Mary believes that these two have real chemistry.
Boomerang Quote: Don't be pussy-whipped, reverse it and whip that pussy. Like this here, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
Next up are the smoldering Musa and Natalie and we'll see if their heat builds this week. They're going to be doing the quickstep. Heh, good luck with seducing the audience that one, you two. Heather Smith is back and is faced with the task of teaching an untrained Musa how to lead in the quickstep. She even goes as far as to put a brace on him to keep his shoulders in the correct position. Okay we know how this is going to go...
Wow, without the big gun in their arsenal, and both of them out of their element, they kinda suck. It's the equivalent seeing those candid pictures of celebrities without their make up on. Musa and Natalie are the equivalent of Cameron Diaz in that respect.
The judges protect them quite a bit. They give Musa a lot of credit for having a heart and putting in the effort. They're probably in the bottom three, but there is no way the judges are knocking these two off this week.
Boomerang Quote: When I seduce you... if I decide to seduce you, don't worry. You'll know.
Jaymz and Jessica also get contemporary and get to work with Brian Friedman. He's the first to use the anticipated by TC and M "Jessie Jaymz" label for this duo. They'll be dancing a love story where Jaymz has a wall around him with Jessica trying to break through...okay without getting tacky, all I'll say is, yes, Jaymez will be able to portray having a wall built up between he and Jessica very effectively. Brian calls Jaymz a competition kid with flimsy arms and rigid hands and he's not really excited to be working with these two. Sheath those claws in Brian!
The routine is to a song that I remember from Garden State. They said an emotional connection is the key here. Okay, I don't see it. On the surface, yeah, they seem like an eHarmony.com commercial, but seriously, they generate as much sexual energy as a Land's End catalogue. I have no idea how to comment on the hopping and twirling contemporary dance style, so I won't even try.
Kat calls them Romeo and Juliet...ugh. The judges love them and are pimping them pretty hard. Cicely and Olisa pull out the "Strange'" comment again. Well that's not gonna stop me from this one from Boomerang:
"What?! You're going to turn down this pussy?! Nobody turns down this pussy!"
"Would you...shhhh! Stop saying pussy!"
"PUSSY, PUSSY, PUSSSSSYYY! pusss, pusss, pussssy!"
The final spot and the Pimpest Spot of them all go to Martha and Travis who are the couple to beat so far. They end up doing hip=hop with that Tod guy. He wants to create static between the two. Meanwhile, Travis is having to overcome a shitty choreographer to learn routine. Seriously, if you can't make Travis look good you should hang up your fake ass hip-hop dancin' shoes.
Okay more dancing to R&B... if they keep calling this hip-hop I'm gonna start stabbing people! Hip-Hop started as a rebellion, a response, to the R&B radio friendly bullshit of the early 80's and now it's come fully shitty circle to drivel like this being called hip-hop? The best illustration of the division would be Hammer and Michael Jackson. Even though Hammer sucked ass, his style of hip-hop dancing would not be considered the genre as Michael Jackson, a pop-R&B singer's, style of dancing. The division was always understood...how the hell did it get so fucked up?? GRRRRR!!!!!!
The judges really weren't impressed with them this week, but they fall short of blaming it on the choreographer. Nigel points out that the dancers were individuals, Travis rocked it hard, while Martha was smooth. The consensus is that they've given up ground to the rest of the pack this week.
Boomerang Quote: You gotta COORDINATE!
The judges have final words on their opinion of the bottom three. Dmitry and Aleks get called out twice, while Musa and Natalie are also considered to be in danger. Add Ben and Ashley and baby makes three.
Boomerang Quote: Marcus, say it ain't so. Man, first the Fat Boys break up and now this...
View the whole article suckas
