Corey + Corey

I threw myself onto a pop-culture grenade for you folks. I watched *two* episodes of "The Two Coreys."

It's been a Corey summer for me. I've been hecka busy with the move to Cali and all, but I took time out to head to Santa Cruz for a 20th anniversary showing of "The Lost Boys," a flick that should be in the TC&M Hall of Fame.

The Coreys didn't show up for the movie, but you can see them on a crappy pseudo-reality show on A&E.

They claim the show is "scripted reality" like "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Yeah, that might work ... if anyone on the show had talent.

I *loved* the Coreys back in the day ... let's just say time, doughnuts and drugs have taken their toll.

Let me sum up every episode for you. Corey Haim acts like a strung-out slob and generally makes an ass of himself. Then he cries when he realizes he doesn't have a life. Corey Feldman bitches and moans about stains on the carpet and is *completely* whipped by his fame-whore, stalker wife. Stalker wife is so bitchy and annoying she makes the Coreys look cool in comparison.

Seriously -- in an hour of television, this wench made my "People Who Need to Die" list. After watching her blubber about her ruined dinner party with the chick from PETA (Haim ordered pepperoni pizza and then put the moves on PETA chick), I wanted Feldman's bitch stuffed, roasted and served with sweet potatoes.

And what was with the photo shoot where she rolled around in her underwear on a desk covered with Corey photos? Creepy.

Skip the show -- watch "The Lost Boys" again.