So You Think You Can Dance Top 12: Part 2 w/results

Here's a quick bite of what I wasn't able to get to from last night's performance show.

Mark and Chelsie did a hot Broadway number. Chelsie probably needed her weight in adhesive to keep from flashing the crowd. Mark seemed to get some sharp criticism for the first time.

Comfort and Thayne did a contemporary piece to George Micheal's "A Different Corner". Out of nowhere Thayne was called brilliant which sent my conspiracy sense tingling.

Gev and Courtney seemed to have moved up a few notches with their "Secret Map" routine. Why do I call it that? Because they danced with a map that had" Secret Map" written on it. They were probably the couple of the night.

Will and Jessica did a quickstep to the fucking American Bandstand theme song. My Pavlovian conditioning suddenly made me feel like cartoons were over and I wanted to go outside and play. Either that or switch it to Soul Train. Then I thought about my favorite AB in which The Junkyard Dog lip synced the all time classic "Grab Them Cakes" with the chick who sang "Turn the Beat Around". It was just a nightmare. Jessica got the slam of the season when Mia told Will that he was tired from carrying Jessica all season and that it was time for a new partner.

Twitch and Kherington slept walked through a Tang which was supposed to be a Mr. and Mrs. Smith inspired piece. It sucked big time. Twitch was especially bad.

Joshua and Katee did a Bollywood piece. This show is kind of a little late on the whole Bollywood thing, but it was actually fun to watch and looked more like a hip-hop piece than a Nappytabs joint.

So that brings us to the results show and we start out with a group dance. It's Ne-Yo who must have a deal with SYTYCD since all of his fucking songs have played on this damn show. The dancers are all in tracksuits and it's supposedly hip-hop. The blacklight hits and the dancers are reduced to glowy stripes. Steal from the BoogieBots much? When the lyrics mention the word "star" the dancers formed a star which screamed Napoleon and Tabitha. There was a lot of dull hip-hop and the dancers in the back missed a lot of spots. It was the worst group dance ever on this show.

On with the Bottom 3 announcements! The first pair of couples is Thayne and Comfort and Joshua and Katee. I don;t know why they even bothered with any suspense.

Thayne and Comfort are in the bottom three. Mia says America got it right and she makes it sound like she'll be fighting for Thayne.

The next pair is a tougher call. Jessica/Will and Mark/Chelsie.

To my surprise Mark and Chelsea are safe. It turns out Debbie Allen is in the audience and there's no way in hell that Will is going home tonight. Mary says she'll be fighting for both of them.

Last spot in the Bottom Three is between Twitchington and Courtney/Gev. The recap edit had no mention of Kherington's exhaustion in the Krump routine.

In a shocker Courtney and Gev are safe! Nigel pretty much assures Twitchington that they're pretty much safe this week, but they need to step it up,

So we know Will and Twitchington aren't going to be eliminated right now, So the only real suspense is between Jessica and Comfort.

First we have the Alvin Ailey Dancers. If I remember correctly I think this was the group that accepted LeRoy from the movie Fame. The routine is pretty much three solos and a group ending sequence where it looked like someone was off by a beat. This is not the kind of dancing I enjoy.

We have the solos, nothing really to write about other than that Kherington's solo was probably the weakest of the night.

Katy Perry sorta sings "I Kissed a Girl" and it's such a poseur song that I want to throw up. I'm going to avoid going into a Gen-X rant and just offer this as a song that was 100% more clever.

"They can have their diamonds and we'll have our pearls" maybe one of the best lesbo lines ever written.


Nigel throws a change-up and a switcharoo before kepping Jessica over Comfort. Meanwhile when he eliminates Thayne, Nigel wishes out loud that they could have eliminated two girls this week. Somewhere offstage, Jessica whimpers.