Wanted, is yet another comic book inspired movie to hit screens this summer. Since the (box office) failures have been few and far between this genre, it gives comic book readers like me a slight problem. At what point can I keep enjoying these movies when I know what's going to happen? When I've likely read the source material several times over, when is the novelty of seeing comic-book characters come to life going to wear out?
Wanted helps delay this conundrum for at least a few more movies, because after the first half of the film, the similarities between the movie and the comic arrive at mainly at the last scene. I said similarities, mind you, the movie does not end as the comic did with Wesley saying "This is my face, while I'm fucking you in the ass". Hollywood wusses.
So yeah, fans of Mark Millar's Wanted, you do not get the pleasure of seeing "Sh*thead" on the big screen. Sucks to be you assholes. I don't know about you, but I wanted to see a fucking poo-man onscreen. Dogma and the Golgothan was a long fucking time ago and I was digging the idea of a walking pile of doo doo in the movies again.
As usual, spoilers galore and this is not an actual review, just some impressions.
So, in the original Wanted comic book series, the premise is that an army of super villains actually rules the world and the plot involves an coup d'etat among those villains. Wesley, our main character, is recruited into the super villain army and the story deals with the struggle of accepting his new found abilities and dealing with a super powered civil war at the same time. Okay, I understand why they ditched the super villain portion of the story. The concept kind of a bit silly, expensive to produce, far-fetched etc. But did they have to have to replace it with a thousand year fraternity of assassins whose targets are chosen by reading imperfections in weaving of fabrics? This mystic loom determines the targets through fate as a defense system for society? The assassins believe that they are serving the greater good with a "Kill one, save a thousand" philosophy? The loom can pick out a random Chicago business man as an assassination target, but miss out on Hitler, Pol Pot, and Idi Amin? Good lookin' out there, Loom!
Two things involving the direction of the acting bugged me. James McAvoy, was great, but he reminded me a bit too much of Tobey McGuire during his milquetoast who slowly realizes he can stomp some ass progression. The douche bag who played Barry, the movie's douche bag, was way too reminiscent of Sean William Scott (Stiffler) king of the present-day douche bags.
One way to get around ridiculous premises and a dumb script is mask those holes with sperlative star-powered acting. It worked for Iron Man with RDjr. and it worked for Wanted with Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman. I swear, Morgan Freeman as the commanding voice in a movie really makes it easier for me to swallow a premise, no matter how preposterous. I think it all started on Electric Company when Easy Reader helped convince me that "Reading is heavy and outta sight!" Angelina Jolie can do so much to fill dead moments in a script. First of all, you can't help but stare at her while she's onscreen. While your staring you can catch all the littel nuances in her stares that range from mocking to emasculating, to "I really believe that you can curve that bullet around my head. I wish younger and equally hot actresses would take notice. I'm looking at you Jessica Alba!
While we're on the subject of Angelina Jolie, is there anything hotter than watching her kick a guys ass? I thought it was just a unique phenomenon after watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith (83 times) but that same warm fuzzy feeling happens in Wanted as well. Watching Angelina Jolie beat the shit out of someone > porn
Third Jolie bit. There's a scene where Jolie kisses Wesley in front of his hoebag ex-girlfriend. It was just a steamy kiss, no groping, no nudity, just a kiss. Well a good portion of the packed theater actually cheered. Phrases like "Yeah, boy!" and "Get some!" were actually shouted. Out loud. By real people.
The special effects and CGI motor this film to the point where it's almost exhausting to watch. It's 21st century Hong Kong action style film making and I'm digging it. Sure, it's excessively violent and maybe the scene where Wesley shoots the Repairman in the face, runs with his carcass, and shoots several more assassins while his gun is still implanted in the Repairman's skull is a bit much, it's quick and it's the kind of fun you can only get at the movies...well at least until the release of Grand Theft Auto 5.
Fucking, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! This movie sure does love to say fuck!
Curving bullets with a twist of your gun, yo! If that concept alone bothers you, just try to wrap the idea that bullets can be fired to block or deflect other fired bullets
After two different car flipping-in-an-intentional-and-functional-manner scenes, nearly back to back, I really was anxious regarding what I would see next. It's been a long time since I've been absorbed like that in a movie.
Story?: Dumb. Acting?: Pretty good and times erection inducing. Fun?: Word
Sunday, June 29, 2008
The Rant: Wanted
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2 comments:
I got two movies I could talk about. While you were out blocking bullets with bullets I went to go see a movie about a robot who does what he is made for, but soon finds out what he is ment for, and a movie about not your average superhero.
So lets talk about Wall-E.
This is one of the cutest date movies I have ever seen. Just thinking about it makes me want to cuddle up with some hot filly that I don't have to worry about calling the next morning.
it opens with one of the most depressing scenese I have ever seen in a movie. Its just an empty dead planet with one robot running around trying to clean up trash. Littered about the landescape is defective, deactivated, and dead Wall-Es. Wall-E our hero just keeps rolling on by until his cute little tank treads give out. So he goes over to one of the dead robots and steals its tank treads.
Sure we're suppose to laugh and think "how clever of you Wall-E" but pie son, he just stole that nigga's shoes!!!
it moves on to the girl robot Eve landing to check the planet for what we don't know but are fairly certain it will just happen to be something that Wall-E found earlier in the movie.
He spends a good ten minutes working up the courage to talk to her (trying to figure out how to do it without being shot) then takes her back to his place. Now this is where I'm hoping for what Shortcircuit never gave me, and some robot sex, but instead we get Wall-E teaching Eve how to dance, and then he shows her the plant he found about twenty minutes ago.
She dumps a brick because the plant was what her "directive" was, grabs the little leafy green, then goes comatose. Wall-E gots no clue, but spends the next segment of the film keeping her safe and trying to wake her up.
When the ship that dropped Eve off comes back Wall-E is not down with them just punk taking his woman so he hitches a ride and we get the first real twist.
THE HUMANS ARE STILL ALIVE!!!
Yup, we are 700 years later and all that is left of humanity is what was on this "5 year pleasure cruise." All the people left are fat shapeless men and woman who have robots do everything for them. The movies then trys to get all political so we'll wrap up my review here.
One of the reasons I really liked this movie is its the reenactment of my relationship with the clam done by cute robots.
First you have the lonley little robot going about his buisness wishing he had a date.
Then we meet the girl robot who is cute but way to self absorbed to pay any attention to the guy robot.
Then we have who knows how long (I'm going to bet a year and six months) where the guy robot takes care of the girl robot even though she doesn't give him the time of day. She is so trapped inside herself that she can't even notice all the wonderful things he is doing for her.
Finally we have the scene where the girl robot is forced to rewatch all the security footage of what had happened while she was inactive and she realises how sweet the guy robot has been to her the entire time and opens up to him.
Pixar done did it again says I. I think Wall-E is my fav so far.
J-Man, I think that we need to take a Man Card™ away from you right now. You pass up Wanted to riff poetic on a “G” rated flick and compare it to your love life. Can you be more Emo rite nao?
On to “Wanted”. I caught this last night and I have to say I loved it. I had a strut going out of this flick. That hasn’t happened since “Shoot ‘Em Up”. This is a fun movie that doesn’t let you think long enough to go “There is NO WAY that could happen.” And the soundtrack rocked.
Plot-wise this movie actually delivered for me. It has the Matrix/Spider-Man introduction where we’re given a looser as the main character with a shitty life. We get 10 minutes to connect with him, and then we’re off into constant training land with explanations only after something is done. The movie knew what it wanted to be and didn’t try to be something it wasn’t. I haven’t read the Mark Millar books so I might have had that going for me that the modified Matrix (something deeper in everyday life)/Star Wars (father-son conflict)/Spider-Man (looser turns into something big) story worked for me.
Things go at reasonably fast pace until they really dig into the meaty part of the story, which is the father/son relationship and how it’s manipulated. The startling thing is that they give away that he’s his father in the first action sequence when he says someone is manipulating Fate (or some such). Based on that statement you’re left to make your own conclusion as to why the group is after a single person. Because contemporary story telling dictates that the main characters are normally the “good guys”, you assume that the Assassin Guild is in the right. If you have your head on you notice it early and keep shaking your head at the whole situation.
Moreover, Angelina Jolie sells everything with her eyes. Smoking body aside, without her eyes, she isn’t in movies. Take for example the gorgeous Vanessa Marcil (NBC series “Las Vegas”). She has a smoking body but I can only take her in small doses because her eyes are dead. She doesn’t sell anything that she says or does. Jolie is entirely the opposite. Everything starts with her eyes and works out from there. It’s what sets the actresses that people want to see apart from the Soap Stars on daytime TV.
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