Top Five - Paj's Past Halloween Costumes

As of Halloween Morning it doesn't look like I'm going to have a costume for tonight. It's the combination of fake pneumonia and chronic laziness again...I almost did a cop out costume for work. I was going to be grunge guy with a flannel shirt and a Lollapalooza '94 shirt, Doc Marten boots and ripped jeans. It felt cheap so I passed. Plus I think I actually wore that stuff out to the grocery store a few days ago. Anyway wearing a tie and a cashmere vest is the best I could do today, but it got me thinking that I've never been a big Halloween guy. It's strange though, I like costuming up and I like going out to see all the hoochies on Halloween, but I've never been big on dressing up ON the actual day itself. I mean I'll wear a Lucha mask all day just kickin' it, but I've never used a Lucha mask in a Halloween costume...I have no idea what that means, I'm just sayin' that's all...

Anyway here are my top 5 Paj Halloween Costumes

5. Ninja

Before the whole Ask a Ninja- Real Ultimate Power ninja renaissance, there was a TV show back in the day called "The Master” about an old Ninja and his cracker-ass apprentice. I don't remember much about it other than it was about ninjas and it was rockin' and it stayed on the air just long enough for me and all my friends to be ninjas for Halloween. We did the turn a black t-shirt into a ninja mask by pulling the sleeves through the hole and tying around our head. Come to think of it I should have done that today.

4. Old School Dracula

I swear I think I wore this costume five years in a row or something ridiculous like that. It had all my favorite elements in a costume: Face paint, fake blood, a cape, and plastic fangs. I think I stopped wearing capes with my Halloween costumes when I got my cape tangled while I was riding my bike. Shit, come to think of it I could have been killed! Stupid Halloween!





3. Vinyl Jumpsuit Batman

I think this is what happens to kids when their parents are either busy or uninterested in Halloween: they get the shitty vinyl costume in a box. SVCIB was pretty much a plastic one piece jumpsuit which was colored to look like whatever was popular at the time. Sometimes the designs would come close to looking like they were supposed to. Sometimes they actually had what it was supposed to be written on the front, like "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle", which serves no one but the clueless parent who's buying a costume for a kid who wants to be Donatello for safety trick or treat night at the high school gym. Anyway, I had Batman twice and Superman once and the experience melds into one big horrible nightmare of dripping with sweat in a plastic cocoon and cutting my lips trying to stick them through the mask's little square pie hole. Then the mask string always breaks then you're just standing there in a pool of sweat looking like a retarded superhero in Keds. HATE!

2. ½ of the Nasty Boys

The Nasty Boys were a bulky wrestling tag team in 90’s known for their ability to be “nasty”, go figure. One of their signature moves was the “pit stop” where one of the boys would shove the face of their hapless opponents into his partners arm pit.

It was a natural choice for me and my bulky blonde friend. As far as costumes go it was easy. All it took was black sweatpants, biker boots, cheesy shades, and paint-splashed black muscle T-s. We even had a hot female manager in all black ta boot. It was great costume and we looked embarrassingly like them.

We actually entered the costume contest at our college Halloween party and as we lined up. The band broke out into an impromptu version of Janet Jackson’s Nasty Boys. We ended up losing to our Sikh friend who dressed up as Gandhi. It was aight though; after he got his prize we gave that pacifist a pit stop for good measure. Truly nasty.

1.Chris Farley-Chippendale Dancer

This was a lot of fun. I got many many compliments from the club goers that night and I even got on the guest list for a local radio station crappy concert series. The only thing that horrified me was that there were people who didn’t get the joke and thought I was just going as a male dancer. Anyway I made the top 3 for the 90’s costume contest but lost out to a killer Drew Carey and Mimi. It was fun getting to be center stage for a huge party, but I knew I was toast. Hmmm I still have that shirt and bowtie laying around and if I go to a different club…I gots to think on this a bit suckas. 5000.

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Songs You Should Know: Bitches Ain't Shit- Ben Folds

One of the things I did while I was recovering from my fake pneumonia was catch the Ben Folds Live Myspace simulcast concert. It was pretty cool, but being on the West Coast and nearly forgetting, I only caught the last 20 minutes or so. And yes, I know there are people who are reading this that would have like to have seen it too, but I didn't call to tell y'all about it because I was sick...and lazy. Still, I couldn't be happier with the finale which I've actually referenced in one of my earliest posts here. It's just a cool scene with the kazillion guitars and the crowd singalong...see if you can get "Bitches can't hang with the streets" out of your head after this one. Now that's a little conversation for your ass...SUCKAS!!!

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Lost: Every Man for Himself

Desmond is thinking, thinking, thinking. He's thinking he better do something or he's gonna lose his job and be back to guest spots on "CSI Miami," so he goes over and asks Claire if he can fix her roof.

But Charlie's all "back up off my Kool-Aid, son," and says that if Claire needs any tools, he'll give one to her.

Back at the Others' Zoo and Kidnap Emporium, Jack's chillin' in the fishbowl, watching cartoons. Why is it he gets to watch cartoons while Kate and Sawyer are chewing on fish biscuits?

Juliet brings him a sammich, but Jack wants someone to change the damn channel, and he wants to talk to Ben. Jack thinks Juliet is just the sammich girl, and that she can't give him any answers.

Juliet insists that Ben's not in charge, and that the Others make decisions as a group, but Ben shoots that in the butt by charging in and ordering Juliet to step, because he's got an emergency.

Danny rouses Sawyer and Kate for work detail. Sawyer gives him shit for looking like Jack Nicholson in "Chinatown," but their little banter session is interrupted by the group from the sailboat bringing Colleen back on a stretcher. Danny takes off with the stretcher and Ben and Julia, who have come down to meet the group. Sawyer sees an opportunity.

Sawyer gets a fish biscuit and thinks deep thoughts. Then he tells Kate his big plan: Make a puddle, then when someone comes to get him out of his cage, use the fish biscuit buttons to zap 'em. Kate says he'll get zapped too, but Sawyer thinks he can take it.

Kate wants to know what they're going to do about Jack. Sawyer doesn't care. "What about him? We don't even know if he's here. We don't even know if he's alive. We've got to take care of us. It's every man for himself, Freckles."

Flashback!

Sawyer gives someone a beatdown on the set of "Oz." There's a new guy in jail, a wuss named Munson who is supposed to have stolen $10 million from the government. The warden has been playing nice to Munson, which is why he's still alive.

Later in the sewing room, Sawyer approaches Munson, who's adding some lovely pink trim to a pair of jammies. Sawyer's jealous -- he's been on janitor detail for months, and he want to sew pretties too.

Sawyer tells Munson that the warden is only watching out for him to get his money. Next he'll play nice to Munson's wife. Textbook con. Munson wants to know why Sawyer cares, and Sawyer says advice is free, and besides, he thinks the warden is a dick, and he doesn't want him to win $10 million. Then the warden comes by and acts like a dick, just to prove Sawyer's point.

Ben approaches Sawyer's cage, asking how much Sawyer weighs (about 180) and how old he is (32 ... no wait, 35). He steps in the puddle, and Sawyer grabs him and holds him for the zap. No zap. Ben turned the electricity off, and he gives Sawyer a whuppin.

Sawyer wakes up strapped to an operating table. Someone gives him a block of wood to bite down on, for the pain. Bad sign number one. Sawyer starts yelling, and Jack can hear him through the broken intercom. Then there's an Other with a big-ass hypodermic needle, and they say the words you *never* want to hear:

"No, you have to go through the sternum. The sternum, like in the movie."

Paolo, who's just happy to appear in another episode, is smacking fruit into the ocean with a golf club. Desmond asks him for a golf club, and Paolo gives him one, but says that if he's gonna go off into the jungle and die, Paolo ain't going to go looking for him.

Sawyer wakes up still strapped to the table. He's got a bloody bandage taped to his chest. Ben has a bunny in a cage. The bunny has an 8 painted on his butt. Ben proceeds to shake the cage and yell at the bunny until the bunny keels over dead. Don't they have PETA on this island? Call Pamela Anderson!!

Ben said the bunny had a pacemaker, and now Sawyer has one too. If he tries to run, or fight, or get too excited, his heart will go boom. But while the Others are fans of unnecessary surgery, they say they aren't monsters, so they'll give him a heart rate monitor to keep track of his new condition. Oh, and if Sawyer tells Kate what happened, they'll put one in her too.

Tom puts Sawyer back in his cage, and gives him and Kate some supplies and clean clothes. Kate wants to know what happened, but Sawyer lies -- badly, for a con artist -- and says they just asked him questions. Kate doesn't buy it.

She asks Sawyer to turn around, and starts stripping. He checks out his bandage, and then sneaks a peek at half-naked Kate. His heart rate monitor starts beeping. Kate asks about the beeping, and Sawyer lies and says it's his watch. Then he yells at her to put some clothes on and dumps a bucket of cold water on his head.

Flashback!

Sawyer gets a jail visit from Cassidy, the woman he wooed and conned. She says she had a baby, and that it's his daughter. Cassidy and Clementine are living in New Mexico, and even though Sawyer took her money and her dignity, she wanted him to know he was a daddy. Sawyer denies the baby is his and walks out.

Kate thinks she can climb out of her cage. Sawyer, who has become quite attached to his troubled ticker, tells her to chill, and that they should wait and figure out what is going on.

Juliet comes to get Jack. He wants to know what was up with Sawyer, but she says she needs his help.

Jack is led by the cages with a bag on his head. Kate and Sawyer yell for him, but he can't hear them over the alarm.

Ben is cranky Juliet sprang Jack, but she says Colleen needs help and that she's not a surgeon. Danny's all cranky a castaway is going to work on his wife. Juliet got the bullet out, but she can't stop the bleeding. Jack tries, but Colleen flatlines, and Jack calls for the crash cart. Too bad it's broken. Colleen dies.

Because Sawyer is everybody's whipping boy, Danny storms down to the cages and starts beating on him because Sun killed his wife. Sawyer's a little confused about the beatdown, but he's not fighting back. The heart rate monitor is beeping like crazy anyway. Danny asks Kate if she loves Sawyer, and doesn't stop beating on him until she says she does.

Flashback!

Munson comes looking for Sawyer -- his wife is a tramp, she's going to find the money, and he wants Sawyer to help him move it. Sawyer says no, but Munson says that if he doesn't do it, the warden's going to win.

Sawyer nurses his wounds. Kate climbs out of her cage like a little monkey. As Kate climbs out she says, "I don't know what they did to you, but I know that you're scared enough to lie about it, and that scares me more than anything they have done to us before." She starts banging on the lock on Sawyer's cage with a rock.

Sawyer tells her to leave without him, that it's every man for himself. His watch beeps. He says if she loves him, she'll leave. Kate says she only said that so Danny would stop smacking him, and "live together, die alone." She climbs back into her cage.

Ben and Tom are watching Kate and Sawyer's little drama on the television. Tom says Danny wants to kill Sawyer, and Ben says he's gonna have to wait. So will Jack, who's been left handcuffed in the operating room with Colleen's body.

Juliet talks to Jack, and says she should have come to get him earlier. She says she's a fertility doctor, and that she's not used to death? (Interesting -- the Others steal kids, and they have a fertility doctor? What's up with that?)

Jack says Colleen was dead before they put her on the table. Juliet says she's going to take Jack back to his fishbowl, but Jack wants to talk about the X-rays hanging up in the operating room -- they're not Colleen's, and the man who they belong to has a nasty tumor on his spine. Isn't it interesting that Jack just happens to be a spinal surgeon?

Desmond builds a tower on the beach with bamboo and his golf club. Hurley asks if it's art, and Des says it's an experiment. It starts to rain, and lightning strikes the golf club -- he's made the world's ugliest lightning rod. Charlie gives Des the "significant" look.

Ben wakes up Sawyer and says they're going for a walk.

Flashback!

Sawyer goes to see the warden. There is a Treasury agent there too, and Sawyer tells them where Munson's $10 million is. The agent tells Sawyer he'll get a commission, and Sawyer tells him to send the money to New Mexico in Clementine's name, but not to tell her or Cassidy where it came from.

"Congratulations, Ford," the warden says, "you just lied and cheated your way out of prison. You're a free man."

Sawyer and Ben walk up a hill. His heart rate monitor is beeping, but he's still got enough spirit to razz Ben about reading "Of Mice and Men." He thinks Ben would like it, because puppies get killed.

Ben pulls a bunny out of his bag with the 8 painted on its butt. He says it didn't die, because it was drugged. It never had a pacemaker. Neither did Sawyer. The only thing the Others put in him was doubt. Sawyer gives Ben a richly deserved punch in the mouth.

Ben says they didn't come up here to talk about bunnies. He shows Sawyer that they are on a little island separate from the island the castaways are on. He wanted Sawyer to know there's no place to run.

Sawyer wants to know why the big scheme.

"We did all this because the only way to gain a con man's respect is to con him," Ben says. "You're pretty good, Sawyer, we're a lot better. Funny thing is, us telling you about the pacemaker wasn't what kept you in line. It was when we threatened her. You work so hard to make her think that you don't care, that you don't need her."

Would this dang show just let Kate and Sawyer hook up and get this neverending mating dance over with???

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Eeeew.

Well, Nip Tuck returned with an old, old friend this week--the crazy plastic surgery addict from Season 1 who had a stroke and went into hiding for 2 years. She's back, with her new caretaker Evetta, and they seem to care for each other in an amusing, Karen and Rosario sort of way. She now has stage four cancer, but wants to look good in the casket. When Christian tells her she'll never survive the surgery she says, "No problem! You'll just do them when I'm dead!" And with those words, we're off to another crazy, creepy episode.

Sean continues to be annoying about doing Connor's surgery, actually going so far as to take out some guy at the pancake house because his son made fun of Connor's hands. But, since Christian became an asshole again last week (and I think you all know what I'm talking about--that stunt with Kimber was particularly evil) Sean has to retreat to being the nice guy. Therefore, we are treated to a number of flashbacks that hint a traumatic deformity in Sean's past.

Back at the McNamara Ranch, Male nurse continues to be obstructionist about the surgery. When Sean brings Julia in for an interview with the hand surgeon, she has MN show up out of the blue and start asking questions about pain memories. When Sean gets pissed off and says so, Julia storms out of the session. Honestly, if I were Sean I'dve bitch-slapped Julia and made her sleep on the couch for a few days just for inviting MN without asking.

Evette calls Christian over to crazy surgery lady's house because she refuses to eat, and he talks her down with the promise of a Botox injection in exchange for eating. He also finds out that she might have been an interesting person who could've sung with Burt Bachrach if she hadn't gotten married and addicted to the knife. She tells Christian she loves him, and eats her soup. Unfortunately, when she stops by the office for her shot, she dies before he can even load up the needle.

Male nurse, in his overly sensitive, wrinkled-forehead way, decides that it's time for him to leave the household just as Julia decides that surgery is out for Connor. Then, in the creepiest on-screen moment since Doom did Rosie, they kiss! Eeeeeeeeeeeew.

Christian begins his post-mortem nip/tuck, and obsesses about what to say in her Eulogy. As he performs her final lypo, he is serenaded by the sweet, sweet sounds of Burt Bachrach and his dead patient.

Cut back to a stormy night at the McNamara house, and Sean (yawn) decides to reveal his secret to Julia. As the flashback plays out, a young Sean walks into get his photo taken for baseball and we see...



a cleft palette. As he comes clean to Julia and cries on her shoulder, we see the guilt-face on Julia for once instead of Sean. Does this mean I have to watch her nuzzle Male Nurse again?

The funeral arrives, and not one person other than Christian and Evetta bother to come despite a 500-person guest list. Even Evetta ends up a little miffed, when crazy leaves all of her substantial estate to Christian for a free plastic surgery fund. Well, at least she can get some free lypo. After Evetta leaves, Christian starts to give his eulogy, but ends up yelling at her instead. Sadly, it all ends with a reciprocal, "I love you."

The episode ends when Julia and Sean take Connor in for surgery together. Male Nurse shows up to wait with Julia in the lobby as the new hands take shape. I think I might need to take some dramamine before next week's episode. Just the previews made my stomach lurch a few times.

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Lack of updates from Paj

I came back from out of town on Sunday hella sick. Trying to rest up and not miss any work...will be updating later today...SUCKAS!!!!

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Survivor: Plan Voodoo

Raro comes back from Tribal, and Cristina is still stung from the bossy pants accusations. She gets into a fight with FrankenAdam -- FrankenAdam no like bossy woman! Arrrruggh!

Cristina says that she's not sure why she's on the outs, but that this isn't the worst thing that's happened to her and she's gonna keep her head held high. Huh -- it always surprises me when someone acts like an adult on this show.

At Aitu, Cao Boi has decided the immunity idol is his special friend. He wants to bring it to the reward challenge, but Jonathan says it would be rubbing Raro's loser status in their faces. Jonathan grumbles that Cao Boi is rubbing people the wrong way (duh) and that he "needs to be talked out of a tree" sometimes.

Jonathan is also talking about how useful Ozzy is to have around, and how he's gonna off him after the merge, because he's too much of a physical threat.

What's the best way to liven up a reality show? Have girls in bikinis wrestle! The reward challenge is a physical one -- tribe members will hang onto posts. The other tribe will send out two people at a time to drag their ass off the post, through the sand and across the finish line.

The reward is a sorta reward -- the winners will get a feast of lamb shanks (an odd choice), apple cider and bread. The catch? They get to eat at the loser's Tribal, which happens right after their own. Yes, kids, its a double boot -- both teams will be sending someone home.

While the winners will get some inside info by listening to the losers' Tribal talk, they won't win any friends by stuffing their faces in front of them. So you gotta be careful.

Candice, Ozzy and Sundra hang onto the posts for Aitu; Jenny, Nate and Cristina for Raro.

Candice is a *monster* in this challenge -- she just wasn't letting go of that pole. She showed some strength and spirit I wouldn't have expected out of a sorority chick like her.

Flicka and Cristina get into a tussle. After Flicka starts choking her, Cristina goes all cop, and is doing anything she can to stay up -- yanking clothes off, using joint locks. They're rolling her bit by bit at one point, because it's the only way they move. She puts up a tough fight, but Raro can't overcome the lead Candice gave Aitu, and Aitu wins reward.

Aitu's jazzed about winning -- Flicka's crowing about her first cop fight. But they've got to boot someone, so the politicking soon begins.

Cao Boi thinks Jonathan has the hidden immunity idol, and he wants to flush it out. So he cooks up "Plan Voodoo," in which the tribe will split their votes -- three for Candice, three for Jonathan. He expects Jonathan to use the idol, which means Candice will go home. This has the added bonus of breaking up Team Whitey -- none of their original team members have been voted off, and Cao Boi thinks they're going to hook up after the merge and vote everyone else off.

It's hysterical to watch Cao Boi try to sell the plan to Yul, since not only does Yul have the idol, he's in an alliance with Candice and Jonathan! Poor Cao Boi doesn't stand a chance, and everyone knows it but him.

Cristina's begging for a second chance with Raro. She knows she's on the block, but she's asking Brad and Pavarti to give her a chance. Nate and Rebecca are talking about that too -- Cristina's strong in challenges, but someone's got to go. If it's not Cristina, they're thinking it might be Jenny, because Nate doesn't know if he trusts her.

Yul weighs Plan Voodoo. Some of the women (Becky and Sundra) don't trust Jonathan, and there's a chance he could go. Meanwhile, Cao Boi assures Flicka that Plan Voodoo is in effect -- he's sure Yul and Becky are with him. Jonathan's just happy he's gonna be able to get rid of Cao Boi, and says that if he gets voted off tonight, "the conspiracy is much bigger than I can picture."

At Tribal, Cao Boi is all sorts of obsessed with Plan Voodoo, to the point where Probst admits he has no clue what Cao Boi is babbling about. Plan Voodoo is a bust, though, because only Cao Boi and Flicka play along -- everyone else votes for Cao Boi. He leaves, pre-feast, and says that he's in his most vulnerable position when he's among other Asians -- he can't trust 'em.

Aitu chows down in front of Raro. Nate looks like he's about to fall out of his seat -- he wants a lamb shank, baby! Cristina's bossiness gets pulled out again, and thinks look bleak. But Jeff's got a twist -- Aitu gets to kidnap a member of Raro before the vote. The kidnappee gets a plate of food, and will go back to Aitu until the next reward challenge.

Personally, I would have taken Cristina -- Raro would have lost an easy boot, they would have had to think quick and might have made a mistake, and Cristina becomes a grateful swing vote come merge time. But Aitu ain't me -- they picked Nate, who chows down with a smile on his face.

Cristina doesn't stand a chance. As she leaves, she says she had a great time, but that she feels like she was taken advantage of and "I met some really good people and I met some really awful people." Somehow, I don't think she and FrankenAdam are gonna hit Starbucks after the reunion show. "FrankenAdam want grande latte, no whip!"

Next week: Guess who's coming to dinner?

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Lost: Further Instructions

OK, so I spent more than two hours writing a detailed recap of this episode, and Blogger ate the entire post. Haters.

So here goes. Locke goes on a vision quest. Boone! Locke used to live on a commune and brought a cop into their growing operation, but then didn't kill him. Eko gets captured by a magic polar bear. Charlie tags along with Locke so he doesn't lose his job and end up on the Hobbit convention circuit. Locke fights the magic polar bear with hair spray. Desmond gets his underwear blown off by an "implosion," and possibly gets precognitive powers. Hurley says "dude" and "whoa."

Want to learn more, hit up Television Without Pity. I ain't writing that post again.

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Lost: The Glass Ballerina

See? I'm catching up!

A crystal ballerina is spinning, spinning, spinning, until it crashes to the floor. A young Korean girl looks at the wreckage, and then bolts to do a "I'm innocent" routine in the next room.

The girl is practicing piano when Sun's dad walks in with the remains of the ballerina and asks her who broke it. Sun lies -- she says the maid did it.

Daddy knows she's full of it, and he's not happy. He explains that he'll have to fire the maid if Sun says she broke the ballerina. Sun lies again, and says the maid did it. Dad stomps out of the room to fire a woman he knows didn't do anything. And is that a hint of a smile on little Sun's face? Ooh, you naughty, naughty girl.

Back on the sailboat, Sun is blowing fish chunks in the head. Jin checks on her, and she says it's just morning sickness. Jin stomps off pissed -- he thinks his preggers wife should be chilling on the beach, not riding the high seas of adventure.

Sayid's making notes on a map while a column of smoke billows in the background. Jin starts arguing, with Sun as his translator -- he wants to leave, because he thinks Jack and the wonder twins aren't coming. Sayid decides that the mountains that have been there all along must be blocking Jack's view of the fire. He wants to sail around the island and light another fire.

Jin ain't playin' that, but Sun agrees with Sayid. Jin snaps at her to respect, because he's her husband. She tells Sayid that Jin thinks they have to do what he says because he's the only one who can sail, but that he's wrong. She'll help Sayid sail the boat. Then she turns and gives Jin a "so there!" look.

Super Jack is still in the corner of his fishbowl. Juliet comes with soup - he's lost his sammich rights. She says she made it herself, but Jack ain't eating. She leaves and goes into another room, where Ben is watching a bank of television screens. He's all "you never made soup for me," but damn Ben -- you saw her muffins. You *want* Juliet to cook?

Down a ladder comes ... Trixie from "Deadwood"! Woo hoo! I love Trixie -- she'll be swearing like a sailor and showing her poonani at inappropriate moments all episode! Trixie's got a chip on her shoulder, and she and Juliet have some chick tension. Over Ben? Puleeze.

Trixie's there to tell Ben "the Iraqi" found the fake village and that he's got a sailboat. Ben's upset about the boat, but Juliet is cool with it -- she says they're just going to sail around the island in circles. He wants Colleen (Trixie) to get a team together and get the boat.

Sawyer's getting a fish biscuit breakfast, and wakes up Kate. They banter cutely, and he offers her half of his fish biscuit.

Boy, I just love typing "fish biscuit." It makes these recaps fun. Fish biscuit.

Their morning flirtation is interrupted by Zeke and crew, who have rifles. The get Sawyer and Kate out of their cells, and give them lunchboxes. Aww, that's sweet. I hope they remembered their juice boxes. Colleen rushes up, and gives a guy named Danny a kiss on the cheek. Hey -- Danny is Buck (who likes to ...) from "Kill Bill!"

Sun watches Sayid play with his rifle. Jin's still pissy, and says he has to fix the sails. She says she's sorry for disagreeing with him in front of Sayid, and he says that she shouldn't disagree with him at all. Gee -- I wonder why she was about to divorce his ass before the plane crash?

Sun apologizes again, and Jin asks her why she came along. She says she didn't want to be away from him. Awwww.

Flashback!

Sun wakes up in the scarlet sheets of adultery with Jae, her bald English tutor. She says they shouldn't be doing this, but he says "gimmie some sugar baby" and kisses her. He's got a present for her -- a pearl necklace. (A real one, you pervs!) She says its beautiful, but that Jin will wonder where it came from. Jae tells her to dump that loser -- her English is good, and they can go to America together.

Knock at the door. Panic on both sides. Jae opens the door and starts chewing out the bellboy, but wait ... it's Sun's daddy! Jae tries to apologize, but Daddy ignores him and stomps over to his ballerina-breaking little girl and tells her to get dressed.

Kate and Sawyer are led onto the set of "Cool Hand Luke." Danny says she'll break rocks, and Sawyer will carry 'em away. Kate huffs that she can't work in her pretty dress, and Danny tells her to take it off. She looks to Sawyer for support, but he's all "go ahead -- take it all off."

Danny says they get 10 minutes for lunch, and to raise their hands if they have a question. Sawyer's hand snaps up. Danny ain't interested, but Sawyer says "she got to ask a question, Boss!" I love Sawyer.

Danny says if he gets any lip, they're gonna get shocked. Sawyer hears "shot" and starts bitching they should get a warning shot, at least. Danny starts waving the taser around and listing all the things that will get them shocked like a monkey.

Kate says she isn't working until she sees Jack. Danny holds up the taser ... and shocks Sawyer. That ain't even fair! Danny gloats that was a quarter charge and tells Sawyer that when he can walk, he should get to work.

Flashback!

Sun's daddy has summoned Jin to his office, and gives him a picture of Jae. He says Jae has been stealing from him, and he wants Jin to put an end to it.

Jin says he'll give Jae a message, but Daddy is all "if I want to send a message, I'll call UPS!" He wants Jin to End it. Jin says he can't -- and Daddy says he's gotta. Jin says it's not his job, and that he'll quit.

Daddy pulls out the big guns. Jae has shamed him. When Jin married his daughter, he became part of the family. Now Jin has to restore the family honor. Jin takes the picture and bows.

Back on the sailboat, Jin is taking out his frustrations on a dead fish. Sayid and Sun are up on deck, looking at the dock from last season's finale. Sun wants to know who would build a dock way out here, and Jin says "Others!" See, he's learning English!

Sayid says the dock is unused and overgrown, and that they'll dock there and start a fire on the beach. "Safe?" Jin asks, and Sayid assures him it is. Patronizing asshole.

Kate's breaking rocks, and Sawyer takes a break to admire her ass. Danny snaps at him to get back to work, and Sawyer takes his sweet time doing so. Did I mention I love Sawyer?

Alex is skulking in the bushes near Kate. "Don't let them see you talking to me," she says. Uh ... duh!!! Alex asks if a guy named Carl is being held in the zoo, and Kate says no, which is actually true, because he was taken away before Kate got there.

Alex is pouty. Kate asks her who she is, anyway, but Alex isn't answering. She wants to know where Kate got her dress. Dumb question -- you think she stopped at the Lost Island Gap? Alex says its her dress, but that Kate can keep it -- it looks better on her anyway.

Boy, I love it when TV shows pick out the one woman who's supposed to be attractive, and make every other female within a 10-mile radius hate her or be jealous of her. I hate Kate too, but I've got my own reasons.

Sawyer shows up, but he didn't see Alex. Kate tells him to stop staring at her butt. Sawyer tells her to give him something else to stare at. Danny gets cranky again.

Sun gives Sayid some gas to pour on the Texas Tech-sized bonfire he's building. She points out that the pile of wood is really big, and Sayid says its gotta be so Jack can see it.

Sun asks him why he's lying to her. "And what would you know about lying," he responds. Oooh, we're getting nasty! Sun points out that she's not putting their lives in danger -- Sayid is.

Sayid says Super Jack and the twins have been captured. There are fresh tracks all over the dock. Sun says he said the dock was abandoned, and he says "duh! I was lying!"

The fire is for the Others. Sayid wants them to see it, and send a scout party. He's gonna ambush them and kill all but two -- one to talk, and one to make him talk. Sayid's gone all hardcore again. Sun for some reason is on board with his dumb plan that is doomed to fail. She asks what she can do, and Sayid tells her to keep lying to her husband.

Flashback!

Jin arrives home for dinner. He asks Sun how her day was, and her hand shakes. She lies and says it was fine. Jin says he saw Sun's daddy and he called him "son" for the first time, but that it wasn't a Hallmark moment -- he wants Jin to deliver a message.

Sun asks if he's gonna do it. He says he has to, and she suggests they run away instead. He says her father would find them. "I do this for you!" he shouts. He does what he does because he has to, because her father expects it, because that's what it takes to be married to her. "And what does it take to be married to you?" Sun snaps back.

Jin's had enough -- he's headed for the door. Sun asks him where he's going. "To deliver a message," he says.

Back on the beach, Jin asks Sayid for a gun. Sayid isn't sure what he wants, but it's not like that's the most difficult word in the English language to understand. Gun. Jin gets Sun to translate. He ain't dumb, he knows its a trap, and by the way, he understands more English than Sun thinks he does. So give him a gun. Sayid hands one over, and starts explaining how to use it, but Jin ejects the clip and checks the gun over like he just got out of a John Woo movie.

Jin tells Sun to get back to the boat. He thinks she'll be safer there. Sayid agrees, but tells her that if there's trouble, there's another gun on the boat. Damn -- is there a neverending supply of guns on this island? Do they wash up on the beach?

"If they get past you, that means my husband is dead. And I won't care anymore," she says. Or it could mean they went after the boat first -- so don't commit suicide or anything, honey.

Sawyer sees Juliet staring at him. They exchange glares, and she tosses him a canteen. He dumps it out. Die of dehydration Sawyer -- that'll show 'em. He heads back toward Kate, who's about to collapse into a puddle on the ground. Too bad he doesn't have any water to give her.

So he gives her some spit instead, dropping a big wet one on her. Kate kisses him back, and Danny smacks him in the back of the head. Sawyer drops, but then gets ahold of the rifle and gets in a few smacks of his own. Others pile on, and its a big brawl until Sawyer gets ahold of a taser and tries to zap the big guy. Too bad he doesn't know how to use a taser.

He still gets enough room to point the rifle, but Juliet's got a gun to Kate. "James!" Juliet says. Sawyer drops the rifle and gets tasered.

Is Kate's entire purpose on this island to get guns pointed at her to make guys stop being cool? Grrrr.

Jin and Sayid are waiting for the Others. Sun's on the boat, but she hears a noise, and sees many feet tromping onboard. Gee, I guess that fire wasn't enough to make 'em ignore the big sailboat! Sun gets the gun.

Flashback!

Jin is in front of Jae's hotel. He watches Jae go in and follows. Inside the hotel, he catches up with Jae and starts bouncing his head off furniture. "Do you know who I am?" Jin shouts. "Do you know why I'm here?" Then he says a bunch of more stuff that works equally well for "Stop stealing from my Triad Daddy!" and "Stop shitting on my house!"

Jin goes to shoot Jae, who's blubbering. Then he tells him to get out of the country and disappear -- his Seoul privileges have been revoked. If he comes back, Jin will finish delivering his message. Jin leaves Jae crying on the floor.

Jin gets back in his car, looking torn up over what he just did. Jae crashes through his windshield. Oops. Jae's dead, and he's got the pearl necklace clutched in his hand.

Back on the island, no one's coming to Sayid's little party. Maybe he should have served punch and pie.

Colleen enters the galley, then stops when she hears the cock of a gun. Sun's got the gun aimed at her, and she wants off the boat. Colleen says that's not her decision, but that the Others aren't her enemies. But that if Sun shoots her, they will be.

If they want to be friends, why are they sneaking around on the boat in the dark? Knock on the door, bring over a bottle of wine -- be civil, damnit! Colleen advances on Sun, but Sun's all "I saw 'Deadwood,' I know you're trouble" and shoots her in the gut. Poor Trixie -- couldn't get a hooker to take the bullet for her this time.

One of the Others opens the door and starts firing. Sun runs.

Sayid and Jin hear the gunfire and head for the boat. They get shot at too, and take cover. Sun's found a hatch. Zeke sees her and starts firing. She falls off the boat. The boat's pulling away. Jin jumps in after it.

The boat's gone, and Jin's screaming in Korean for Sun. After a long moment, she answers. They meet up in the water and have another "awwww" moment.

Flashback!

Sun is watching Jae's funeral. Daddy shows up and says she shouldn't be there. He tells her to go home to her husband. She asks if he's going to tell Jin what happened, and he says it's not his place to do so.

On the beach, Sun is cold and wet. Jin gets her a blankie, and says he wouldn't know what to do without her, then puts a hand on her tummy. "Both of you." Sayid apologizes for his stupid plan, and says they should start walking back home.

Sawyer's coughing up his spleen in the bear cages. He tells Kate he did what he did because she's just so damn cute breaking rocks. Actually, he did it to size up the guards -- the big guy hits hard, one other guy has martial arts training, but they haven't seen much action, and Sawyer thinks he could take them if he had to. Juliet would have shot Kate though -- she was serious.

Kate asks why Juliet called him James. Sawyer says its because that's what his name is. "I noticed something else, too. You taste like strawberries," he says. Blech.

That line has been used in at least two other shows -- "Buffy" and "Forever Knight." It's officially a cliche. Stop it. At least say she tastes like mango or melon or something else.

"You taste like fish biscuits," Kate says. Heh. Fish biscuits.

Sawyer says they'll wait until the Others drop their guard, and then they'll make their move. Might take a while, though, because Ben is watching and listening to their conversation with his bank of televisions.

Jack's in his corner. Ben's there too. He apologizes for not telling the truth in the hatch, but says it would have just gotten him another session with Sayid and his torture routine.

He wants Jack to change his perspective, and he starts with an introduction. "Hi. My name is Benjamin Linus, and I've lived on this island all my life." Jack won't shake hands. No manners.

The guard brings in a telly. Jack wants to know where Kate and Sawyer are, but Ben isn't telling. He says if Jack cooperates, they'll send him home.

Jack says he's bluffing. The Others are trapped too. Ben interrupts Jack to tell him that his flight crashed Sept. 22, 2004. "Today is November 29th," he says. "That means you've been our island for 69 days." Ben says that in that time, "your fellow Americans re-elected George W. Bush, Christopher Reeve has passed away, the Boston Red Sox won the World Series."

Jack's laughing. The Red Sox??? Ben turns on the television, and it's playing the last game of the series. Jack's pissed he didn't get in on that action in Vegas. Ben says that there's his proof, and that if he cooperates at the right time, he will send Jack home.

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Survivor: Don't Cry Over Split Octopus

OK, so I'm behind on my recaps. What can I say? Work sucks. I want to win Powerball.

Anyway, there are monkeys picking fleas out of each other's hair. Oh wait, its the guys of Raro brushing their teeth.

While the women sleep late, the Raro men decide they've got to kick it up a notch are they're all gonna get J.P.'ed. Hey, if you can win a challenge, maybe you won't have to vote anyone off?

Nate says the guys have to "watch our backs as a unit because these women could try to eat us off."

I'm not even touching that one.

The guys collect massive amounts of firewood and seafood. Pavarti is very impressed with Nate's wood.

Over at Aitu, the personal hygiene theme continues, as Candace, Becky and Sundra compare armpit hair. Seriously, I could have really done without seeing this. Cao Boi must feel the same way, because he's bitching about how useless they are. He says as soon as Aitu loses a challenge, one of them is gone.

Reward challenge time. Each team picks three pairs to stand on little platforms holding ropes with one hand. Then the opposite team loads up the hooks on the ends of the ropes with five-pound weights. Last pair to hold their weight wins reward for their team.

Raro shows some brains for once and spreads the weight evenly between the pairs. Aitu loads up Nate and Adam. Super Yul shows his first sign of vulnerability, being the first one to drop his rope. Rebecca and Stephannie can't hold it and they drop.

Sundra drops her weight, pissing off Candace. Flicka's holding on, and she's got enough energy to start trash talking. Nate and Adam are in quite a clench -- they look like they need a room.

Flicka shoulda paid more attention to her rope and less to her mouth, 'cause roller girl drops her rope. Raro wins fishing equipment, wine and spices, and the right to send someone to the Exile Starbucks. They pick Jonathan.

Back at camp, FrankenAdam gets an octopus stuck to his foot. I tried to make a joke out of this, but it doesn't work -- he walks into camp with an octopus on his foot. It is what it is.

Cristina inherited J.P.'s bossy pants, and she's ordering her tribemates around. Cut this, clean that, blah, blah, blah. But when she takes the pot o' octopus down to the shore to wash it, she dumps a bunch of it in the water and loses it.

She tries to pin some of the blame on Jenny -- it apparently takes two people to deal with a pot of dead, chopped-up seafood. Jenny's not amused, and she and Rebecca are already talking about booting Cristina next.

Flicka, Cao Boi and Ozzy decide they're gonna paddle over to another island and look for supplies. They try to invite Candace and then Sundra to their meeting of the Aitu Losers Club, but neither of them want to come along. Sundra says she's scared the water. Uh-huh -- whatever.

After they leave, Yul jumps on the chance to ask Sundra to join his alliance with Becky, Jonathan and Candace. He wants a solid five, and Flicka ain't solid. Sundra joins up, but she says in confessional that it could all change in five minutes.

The Aitu Explorers Society lands on the foreign island. They find coconuts and a medicinal plant, which makes Ozzy happy because he's got cuts on his hands. Then he flips off the camera showing his cuts -- seriously, I'm surprised CBS didn't blur that.

They explore some more and find ... Raro! They've stumbled into the other tribe's camp, and FrankenAdam ain't happy -- it's his turf, and he wants them out.

Cao Boi, who's oblivious to not being wanted, makes himself comfy by the fire and then launches into a master class on Asian symbolism. Everyone is bored. Birds fall out of the trees from boredom. The sun forgets to rise. This goes on *forever,* and I liked the cut of the sky rushing by to show the passage of time.

After everyone falls asleep, Cao Boi tries to cage some spices, then offers to share some of Raro's coconuts with Raro. Generous, ain't he? Raro sends him off empty-handed, and he's managed to alienate people who barely even know him.

Jonathan digs in a great big sandbox, but he doesn't find the hidden idol. He digs some more.

In the immunity challenge, the teams have to assemble two or three "stepping poles." They will then use the poles to transport two team members from one platform to another, then climb the second platform, jump off, swim to an itty-bitty platform, and everyone has to get on top of the itty-bitty platform.

Flicka balances, while Jenny gets as low as she can. Raro's doing pretty well -- they go back for their second person. "Pavarti's on the pole!" Probst shouts. Yes Jeff, that's where she's gonna be as soon as her "acting" career collapses.

The teams are even. They start climbing onto the itty-bitty platforms. Raro falls off in one big loser splash. They try to get it together, but Aitu piles it on to win immunity.

Jenny's pulling for Cristina to go, but as Nate and Stephannie go to get water, she makes a comment about wanting mashed potatoes and gravy. Nate decides that "damn, this girl is done," and that if her heart's not in the game, Stephannie needs to go. He runs to Brad like he's got the hot gossip on who Dylan McKay is gonna ask to prom.

Pavarti tells Stephannie that her tater cravings have gotten her into trouble. She says that she still wants to play, but she's not going to beg to stay either, and basically seals her own fate by not doing a damn thing.

At Tribal, Jeff calls Raro out for being losers. Nate calls Cristina out for wearing the bossy pants, and Cristina acts surprised that people don't like being ordered around. Jeff asks Stephannie what her place in the tribe is, and she says "Who cares? Gimmie my mashed potatoes!"

Bye-bye, Stephannie.

Next week: Double boot.

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Coming Attractions - Sleeping Dogs Lie

Sleeping Dogs Lie, directed by Bobcat Goldthwait, opens this weekend. I really can't wait. It will be the first time I've ever seen...well no that's not true...It will be the longest movie I've seen about...well, that might not be true either. Hmmm...Sleeping Dogs Lie will be the first movie I've seen dealing with beastiality in the theaters. No joke, yo! Seriously, I've read some very favorable reviews and I'm a big believer of the concept that the best stories occur when the characters are where they least want to be. In this case, the main character's deep dark secret comes out and she has to witness those around her coming to terms with that. Judging from the trailer the movie looks like it's full of sincere, cringe worthy, scenes. The kind that make movie going worthwhile. Plus, it has Brian Posehn in it so it can't be all that bad.

You can catch the first 8 minutes of the movie on YouTube. The opening line? Tremendous!!

I will be occupied this weekend, so if anyone actually lives in a city with first run indie films, please let me know how it goes. The only thing that would get me more excited about this movie is if Samuel L. Jackson makes a cameo yelling “Enough is enough! I’ve had it with these muthafucking girls blowing muthafucking dogs!”

Tags: Sleeping Dogs Lie, Movies

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Grey's Anatomy - What I Am

Okay, to tell you the truth I'm burnt out on this show. I'm not going to dredge through the scene by scene this week, which makes me hate the show even more, but I'm still going to watch and I'm still going to recap. I just need a change of pace this week.

• McDreamy, Finn, and Mer - The competiton is over!!!
  I liked the way that they resolved the Finn part of this equation. Mer lets him down gently and admits that Robin the Vet Wonder might be the better man, but he's not the "One". McDreamy is the "One" even though she doesn't necessarily want him to be. The heart wants what the heart wants. I can buy that and it works. In the meantime, McDreamy realizes that he's been a projecting, passive-aggressive, waffling, asshat for these last few months and decides that he cares enough about Mer to walk away. Mer let's Finn go. Finn finally lets his grapefruits out of his green short shorts to breathe and leaves with a "The next time her hurts you, I'm not going to be there line". See ya Finn! Maybe you can hook up with Alicia Silverstone and compare notes on how Batman and Robin put the screws to your career.

• Burke and Yang
  Burke gets cleared for surgery while McDreamy is complaining about his chick problems? The hospital's counsel watching at home must have thrown a fit! Burke has to admit that he's not ready and more importantly, get Yang to admit that he's not ready. She opens up a bit more and lets Burke know that she'll be prepared to help him mask his surgical shortcomings until he's well again. This segment was brought to you by Bad Idea Jeans.

• George and Dr. Husky
  Husky starts the episode complaining that they don't get to spend time together since George's attention is taken by either Mer or Izzy. Poor George, having to juggle a girlfriend and two needy, emotional trainwreck, homegirls is tough to do. I can sympathize, I had to juggle a girlfreind and three of them. Not fun at all. George has to break a date, again to help Izzy deal with her situation. Dr. Husky says it's over. I get Husky's frustration, but if she really loved George, doesn't she love the part of George that's always there for his friends? Anyway, Husky decides to get her drink on and runs into McSteamy. They leave...together...presumably to get nasty. I wonder if she's gonna tell McSteamy that she loves him too. If she did that would be awesome!!!
  

• Izzy meets Denny's Dad
  Katherine Heigl get a chance to show off her acting chops here and has an epsiode long conversation with Denny's dad. They discuss support and abandonment and more and more things Denny. Loved the emotion, hated the subject matter. Denny's Dad is convinced that Denny truly loved Izzy and that she was worthy of the cryptic envelope which had a code for Denny's voicemail. She listens to the voicemail at home. She's so wrapped up that George notes that there was also a check in the envelope...for a cool $8,700,000. Again nice twist.
  

Closing Thoughts: I really hated the Mer on morphine scenes. I know it was supposed to be cute and quirky, but she acted like she was on sodium penathol or suddenly had the brain condition where the dude said whatever was on his mind from a few episodes ago. Oh yeah, the preggers scare at the beginning wasn't kosher. McDreamy calling McSteamy a "liar and a cheat" was pretty rich in it's hypocrisy as well. I also hated Addie having to prop Mer up with her "Don't hurt her again" speech to McDreamy. Here we go with the boost Mer and McDreamy, while we highlight everyone elses character flaws over the next few weeks progression that is bound to happen. First, we find out that McSteamy's a gaping asshole. Really? Wasn't he McDreamy's best friend? He would Ronnie really be friends with a guy that much of an ass? Did McSteamy shit on HIS house? Second, McSteamy alludes that there was more to he and Addie's relationship than what we and McDreamy have been told. Here it comes, everyone sucks except for Mer and McDreamy so we can be happy when they get together. Anyway, this epsiode did clear up alot of the b.s. that had accumulated over the last half of last season. Plus, that dude's face on fire was pretty cool.

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K-Fed gets the F.U. tonight

According to www.wrestlingobserver.com Kevin Federline makes an appearance on WWE Raw tonight (USA Network Mon. 9pm) The show, which was taped in Los Angeles last night, features an altercation between John Cena and K-Fed which starts as a freestyle battle and ends with K-Fed getting the F.U.

www.tmz.com has actually pictures and video. I'm not a fan of John Cena, but tonight I will be.

Also on tonight's RAW, the guys from Jackass get a taste of "The Samoan Bulldozer" Umaga. So if you wanna see some celebs get an ass whoopin' check out RAW tonight. SUCKAS!

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Fashion Trends I Wanna See: Pee Pants!

What's up yo! You know how it is when you got your drink on and you don't got the time or the ability to make it to the rest room. For the modern day hoodie who doesn't wanna worry about blowin' up and then having to be questioned on whether or not they pissed themselves in Rolling Stone Magazine, I wanna see pants that already look like they already been peed in. For the honeys that would mean just a darkened area around the crotch like the picture of Fergie Ferg here. For the homies,
the discoloration on the leg would all depend on which way you hang, either left or right. The labels? How about #1 for All Mankind or Epeesu or something like that.

Of course, the added bonus comes for those who actually have a problem with pissin' themselves. Say you've had one B to the E too many and the bathroom's just too far away or your too wasted to move. You can let yourself go right then there and no one would know the difference. Your boys would be all like "Dang, there you go all pissin' yourself again, we need to get you some Pampers and shit." Then you can just say, "Naw, I'm just rockin' the Epeesu's yo! They just look like I pissed myself, yo! T.H.I.R." *wink* Rilly yo, I think this can take off, because seriously there are lot's of disgusting mofo's out there. Just remember the line from Billy Madison, "If peeing in your pants is cool, just consider me Miles Davis"




As a bonus for my peeps, Tortilla Chips and Milk's model Dartagnan is back rocking the pee pants y'all, enjoy.

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Friday Tidbits

Does it really get any better than The Office? There were so many great moments last night. From Michael's speech with Creed, to Kelly sobbing over Ryan, to the bereavement group session with the toss the ball game. Pam, Ryan, and Kevin using the plots of Million Dollar Baby, The Lion King, and Weekend at Bernie’s as the stories of their deceased relatives? Tremendous!

“You can’t get sick from a bird!”

I really enjoyed the interaction between Jim and Rashida Jones character as well. I’m really glad that the writers didn’t fall into the Jim and Pam trap. Back in Scranton, something about bearded Roy just cracks me up. I can’t stop laughing when he’s on screen.

The culminating scene of the bird funeral with Dwight on the electric green recorder and Pam warbling Jeffery Osborne’s “On the Wings of Love" was surreal and left me stunned with its genius. I hadn’t seen that song performed on TV since Rex Smith covered it on Solid Gold!!! Meanwhile Dwight on the recorder reminded me of my recorder playing days under the stage name “Pajfir, Master of the Blues Recorder” My admiration comes not only for the humor, but for the place in their head the writer had to go.

I still have I pity the fool and Grey’s in the hole. I should be able to post this weekend.

In honor of Friday the 13th I only have one thing to say: “ch ch ch ch hah hah hah hah ch ch ch ch hah hah hah hah”

um...you know the noise in the background when Jason is gonna get his murder on...from the Friday the 13th movies...haters!

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Degrassi: The Next Generation - True Colors

We open this weeks episode with Peter, his Mom and Dad and a Judge-Barrister, whatever they call them up north. The smarm continues to grown on Peter. His peeps pull some strings and he get off on the illegal street racing with a suspended license and being grounded while Sean takes the fall. Emma and Peter give each other congratulatory smooches.

Stupid Credits.

A-Plot Illegal Street Racing and You

Peter delivers a PSA on DHS TV where he warns of the dangers of being 2 fast 2 furious. Snake calls out the mea culpa for what it is...someone of privilege getting off easy with an “I'm sore-ee”. Well it's written all over his face. Manny thinks Emma should be concerned about Sean's Welfare. She gets run off by Peter who is upset that he can't take Emma to the big dance. They have a big dance already?

Socialite Emma has a plan, though. In her socialite meeting she suggests that they have a costume ball so everyone can go “incogNEAT-o” The meeting gets distracted when they all see Jay talking to Snake in the hall.

Jay and Snake were closing a discussion about Sean when Emma tells Jay to eff-off. Jay tries to get it through Emma's skull that jail isn't fun...at all. He tells Emma that Sean's already in the infirmary from being jumped in the chow line. Emma doesn't understand how anyone could get jumped in jail. Did I miss the Emma gets a lobotomy episode of Degrassi? Was that one banned in the states like Manny's abortion episode? When I think about Sean in jail the word PRAG immediately comes to mind. Did I mention I have the complete OZ on DVD set? Jay tries to convince Emma to at least stop by and visit him. The serious music plays in the background.

Flash forward to a dark and rainy bus stop. Peter has already managed to sneak out of the house and pulls up in his illegal street race car. Emma hops in and the start to kiss, but Peter starts complaining about Emma's whack Honey-Vanilla smelling hair. Emma says “Sore-ee” (yay!) Emma lets Peter know that she's set it up so he can go to the dance without his Mom knowing. They make out some more but Emma gets all weirded out. Mr Sensitivity says that it was lucky that the jogger is okay, because if he died Peter couldn't have “gotten away with a slap on the wrist”. Emma feels some synapses working again and is rightfully disgusted by this attitude. She bails early.

Emma decides to show up to Sean's court hearing after all. She's in the hallway as they are brining him in. He definitely looks like he's been popped in the grill and had his eye dotted. Emma gives him a hug. Sean sighs like a little girl, “Ah Vanilla I miss that smell”. Prag!

Sean's court hearing ends early because his Public Defender didn't show up. Back to jail for Sean! Sean's more than a little frustrated right now and demands that to know if Emma's still with Peter. Emma says she is and still thinks that Sean is a hit and run drug dealer, but she still says she's gonna help him because he needs it. Ladies and Gentleman...the return of Cause Girl!!! maybe she'll get her brain back too!

Emma goes back to school to talk to Snake. She suggest that Baby Jack move into Snake and Spike's room, while Manny and Emma move into Baby Jack's room so they can rent out the basement. It's Emma's plan for raising money for a decent attorney for Sean. Snake poo-poos that, but he okays her plan B of a fund raiser.

Emma goes to her locker to find a shiny gold mask waiting for her. Peter surveys the results and cops to the surprise. Emma still hasn't figured out that Peter got into her locker without permission. Stupid Emma! Emma shows Peter the raffle tickets, but doesn't say what they are for.

Dance time! Emma is discretely trying to sell her raffle tickets. Toby gets all in her Kool-Aid for not having Council permission to sell those tickets. Remember when Toby was actually one of the stars of this show? His role has been reduced like kid on 90210 who accidentally shot himself off the show, except Toby's still alive to deliver short dorky and or creepy-pervy lines when necessary. Poor Tobes.

Manny tells Emma she's gotta stop waffling and choose. Emma says Sean is still in her heart, but she lists all the great things that Peter has done for her, like holding her hand when she was sick and breaking into her locker without knowing the combination and putting masks in her locker. Manny the resident Degrassi bad decision maker somehow puts two and two together faster than Em and questions how he go into the locker.

Cut to Emma slamming Peter into the lockers, showing flashes of when she kicked Alex's ass a few seasons ago. The girl can throw down. She calls him out and gets him to admit he broke into Sean's locker and planted the pot. He says he did it to “keep them together” so of course it's supposed to be okay. Emma dumps him on the spot and slams him into the lockers again for good measure. Finally!

We close with Emma visiting Sean in jail. She tells him it's over with Peter and that Snake will be working hard to make sure he gets an attorney who will work hard on his case. Sean apologizes for everything and is happy that she's there. There's a tap on the window ending the visit (no conjugal yet?) Emma leaves Sean with a bottle of Honey Vanilla shampoo. Emma honey, that was sweet but a carton of smokes would have served him better.


B Plot Man that was fast.

This week we pick up on Ellie's first days at the Core, the University Newspaper. It turns out the plum assignment she was given last didn't make the cut, even though she researched in beer bong puddles. She gets snarked on by an upper class co-ed. She pleads for another chance. Jessie needs to see passion in her writing. They both call each other arrogant. Then he asks Ellie to talk it out over a beer. Wow, they aren't wasting time with the hookup.

They stumble back to Ellie's where she's busting his chops about his crappy taste in music. They're cute together and they've hit it off. Before he leaves he tries to plant one on Ellie, but she turns her head, but not in a too insulting way.

Back at the paper he assigns Ellie a plum music assignment, which gets even more snark from the upperclassman co-ed. It turns out Jessie has a habit of hooking up with the fresh meat Snarky was Miss 2005. Poor Ellie. She decides to keep her self respect. When it's time to cover the concert, she bails and decides to cover intramural water polo finals instead.


The next day Jessie explains that he didn't give her the concert review to get in her pants, but because she loves music. Jessie admits that she can write and she's cute and he's not going to apologize for liking her. Ellie plants one on him and they decide it's going to be their little secret. I guess she's over Craig, where ever he is.

Tags: Degrassi, TV

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McDreamy and Burke Throw Down!!!

Okay, so there were no fisticuffs actually thrown, but imagining Ronald Miller in a fight with someone who once co-starred with Steven Segal, DMX, and Jet Li makes me happy. I don't care what they say caused it. I'm betting the altercation started because of two words: "sh*t" and "house"

From E! Online

"Grey's" Dempsey, Washington Get Physical
by Natalie Finn
Oct 11, 2006, 6:40 PM PT


Come Emmys season, does a series win extra points if its characters engage in some off-camera drama of their own?

Grey's Anatomy docs Isaiah Washington and Patrick Dempsey--who's no stranger to the on-camera tussle--reportedly threw down Monday, resulting in a temporary halt in production while the two hunky attending physicians cooled off in separate corners.

A source told E! Online TV columnist Kristin Veitch that tensions mounted while the men-masquerading-as-boys were off on location last week shooting a camping sequence. By the time the crew returned to Los Angeles, something was apparently bothering the actors enough to cause a skirmish on the set.

It seems that Washington was prepared to shoot a particular scene Monday and was peeved that his fellow cast mates weren't ready to go. He ended up making a nasty remark to T.R. Knight and Dempsey stepped in on Knight's behalf.

According to the New York Daily News, Washington then grabbed Dempsey by his McDreamy throat and shoved him. Washington told People Wednesday that no punches were thrown.

Not confirming that two of the stars from its biggest hit were engaged in an altercation that turned physical--but not denying it either--ABC has remained mum on the subject.

But all is well now, on the surface at least, back at Seattle Grace. E! Online's source said that Washington and Dempsey both met with the big cheese, executive producer Shonda Rhimes, and proceeded to metaphorically hug it out.

"There was an argument on set," a rep for Dempsey said. "In any close-knit family, sometimes people argue. But everybody made up and went back to work."

Washington's publicist echoed the sentiment, saying in a statement to E! News: "Differences are inevitable. They were aired, resolved, and everyone has moved on."

With their bizarrely good looks intact, luckily.

And as for those outdoorsy scenes that the gentlemen were filming last week, Dempsey told E! Online Sunday (the day before the "incident") that it was good being away with the guys and nice to not have to shave for awhile.

"We have a good time together," the actor, whose wife is expecting the couple's second child, said. "We bonded a little bit, in a good way."

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Lost: A Tale of Two Cities

Sorry I'm late, kids -- but here's the "Lost" premier. Next ep to follow soon.

It's an eye. An eye with bad musical taste. Because the blonde chick that the eye's attached to puts Petula Clark in the CD player, and looks pretty damn pleased with herself.

As "Downtown" bops along blonde chick fluffs pillows and burns muffins (and her hands) and does the happy domestic thing.

It's apparently book club day, and some alpha male is crapping on the choice of book. "Now I know why Ben isn't here," AM says, thinking that the great and marvelous person named Ben wouldn't use this book to wipe his butt.

Blonde chick says its her favorite book, and before these two can rumble like it's "West Side Story" the house begins to shake.

Everyone runs outside, and holy heck -- the guy under blonde chick's house fixing her plumbing is the late, great Ethan -- the not a castaway from Season One.

And what do my wondering eyes see, but Henry Gale coming out of another house. The Others have suburbs???

But that ain't the biggest thing, because up in the sky, it's a bird! It's a plane! Yeah, it's a plane -- it's Oceanic Air 815, and it's breaking up. We get to see the crash from *yet* another angle.
Everyone's looking to Henry for guidance, and he rallies Ethan and Goodwin to head off to the crash sites and blend in with any survivors. He wants lists in three days. Ethan and Goodwin scurry off to their dooms.

Blonde chick is still holding her book -- it's Stephen King. "So I guess I'm out of the book club," Henry says, in a very ex-boyfriend moment. Camera zooms out to show that suburbia is smack dab in the middle of the island.

Hell -- why didn't the castaways look there for a McDonald's and a Radio Shack?

Flashback!

Jack is in his car, spying on his wife's school. Glenn Miller is on the radio. Could he get any weirder? Sarah comes out and gets friendly with another teacher. Jack gives them the Eye Of Doom.

Island Jack wakes up in a small room. Chains on the ceiling, door's locked, and he's got a cotton ball stuck to his arm. He wanders around a bit, tries the obviously broken intercom, and runs smack into a glass wall. He screams for Kate.

Kate wakes up in the boys locker room -- in the shower, to be precise. Zeke's there, in Dockers. Weird. She asks some dumb questions, like where am I, where's Sawyer and Jack -- like Zeke's gonna answer. He tells her to take a shower. She gets all uppity about showering in front of Zeke, and he laughs and says she's not his type. Wow -- kidnapped and dissed in the same day. She's got a cotton ball on her arm too.

Sawyer wakes up in an abandoned zoo. No, I'm not kidding -- there's a cage and a canopy with the Dharma logo and speakers. There's someone in the cage across the way with his back to Sawyer, and he won't talk to Sawyer. Like he's got anything better to do. Poor Sawyer never gets the love.

So Sawyer looks around, and there's a big red button with a fork and spoon on it, a little chute and water spout, and a couple of levers. Sawyer pushes the red button. "Warning," the speakers say. So he does it again. "Warning."

Sawyer's shows less sense than the average lab monkey and gets ready to push the button again. "I wouldn't do that," his buddy says. Sawyer does it anyway, and gets hit with a shock hard enough to fling him across the cage and smack him off the bars. Warning, stupid!!!

Jack yanks his chain. He keeps doing it until someone tells him to stop it. It's blonde chick, sans Stephen King book. She says her name is Juliet.

Flashback!

Jack and Sarah are meeting at the divorce lawyer's office. Guess the stalking isn't helping their marriage. They make awkward small talk, and Jack says he fired his lawyer.

Sarah gets a phone call, and giggles like its the high school quarterback. It's poor etiquette to flirt with the new man in front of the old one.

Jack gets cranky, and wants to know the new guy's name. She stalls, and he says he'll give her the house and the cars and all that stuff if Sarah will give him the name of her new man. Boy, Jack shouldn't have fired his lawyer. Sarah gives him the brushoff.

Back on the island, Jack's still yanking his chain. He wants to know where his friends are -- Juliet wants him to stop acting like a three-year-old. He asks if she thinks he's stupid.

I think you're stupid Jack -- does that count?

Juliet says he's stubborn. He keeps yanking on the chain.

Kate finishes her shower, and can't find her clothes. There's a pretty sundress in a locker with a sign that says "wear this." Isn't this how a porno starts? Kate puts on the sundress and thinks about how hot she is. Bleck. Zeke tells her to wrap it up, because "he's waiting."

Kate must have won the Reward Challenge, because they lead her to the beach where Henry -- I mean Ben -- is waiting with breakfast under a little canopy. Kate puts her mad face on. Ben tosses her some handcuffs, and tells her to put them on. OK, we're back to the porno. Kate asks what will happen if she doesn't, and Ben says she won't get any coffee.

Kate must be jonesing for some latte, because she puts the handcuffs on.

Kate asks about Sawyer and Jack. Ben makes some noise about how she asked about Saywer first. Damn, can we get over this love triangle thing already? Who cares? Kate asks about her clothes, and Ben says they burned them. Then she asks why she got the shower and coffee on the beach and all.

Ben says he wanted to give her something nice to hold onto, because the next two weeks are going to be very unpleasant. The way he says it, it sounds like the bombing of Dresden unpleasant.

Flashback!

Jack's got ahold of Sarah's phone, and he's sitting in his office calling all the numbers in it looking for The New Man. Jack's dad shows up and calls him on it. Jack's all -- shut up! I'm Super Jack, and I'm gonna find Sarah's new guy! He dials another number, and Dad's phone rings. Oopsie!

Dad says Sarah was calling him because she was worried that Jack was making with the crazy. Jack calls his dad a drunk, which is pretty much his answer to everything. Dad tells him to "let it go."

Back on the island, the broken intercom is making static noises. Jack yells at it, because he's just that dumb. Faintly, you can hear his dad's voice on the intercom saying "let it go."

Juliet shows up with a sandwich. Jack growls. She says it's really yummy. Jack tells her to turn the intercom off, and she says to stop making with the crazy, because its been broken for years.

Jack asks about a big red button -- because big red buttons are always good, right? Juliet says its for emergencies.

They bicker over the damn sandwich some more, and Jack lies and says he was a repo man. Juliet asks him why he was flying from Australia. Jack says he was bringing his father's body home.

Sawyer's fiddling with the levers. His buddy starts asking about Sawyer's camp -- how far it is, are the people nice? Sawyer points out that the last guy who showed up got tortured by an Iraqi.

The door to Buddy's cage pops open. Buddy springs Sawyer, and tells him to run thataway, and takes off.

Sawyer runs, but not too far, and then he stands there like an idiot while Juliet shoots him in the neck with a Taser. Zeke drags him back to the cage. Buddy (who's name is Carl) got caught too, and Zeke makes him apologize to Sawyer. Nice to see manners aren't dead.

Jack's in his cell, and Juliet's got another sandwich. They bicker some more, until Jack says he'll sit nice and let her open the door to put the tray inside.

Flashback!

Jack's in the hospital, and sees his dad on a cell phone. Dad laughs, and Jack puts two and two together. Dad has a cell phone. Sarah has a cell phone. That means they must be ... doin' the nasty!!! Apparently, they are the *only* two people in L.A. with such wonders of technology.

Jack follows dad to a meeting at a hotel. Sarah ain't there -- it's an AA meeting. Jack stomps up and gets all shitty. He wants dad's phone. Christian and the meeting moderator try to calm him down, but Super Jack won't be denied -- he starts screaming about how Drunk Daddy doesn't love him.

The moderator says dad's been sober for 50 days. Jack says it's because he's got a new "lady friend." Seriously -- he said "lady friend." Dad tells him to let it go, and Jack knocks him the fuck out. It's the most exciting AA meeting ever.

Back on the island, Juliet opens the door, and Jack rushes her. He ain't done beating people yet. He gets her in a head lock, because he's Super Jack, and drags her to a door with the Dharma logo and a big wheel on it and tells her to open it. She says if she does, they'll die.

Ben is suddenly there, and he backs her story. But Super Jack does what he wants, and starts opening the door. Ben and Juliet beat feet, and in a sign of repressed ex-lover anger, Ben shuts the door in Juliet's face.

What's behind door number one? The entire Pacific Ocean. Water starts flooding the corridor, sweeping Jack and Juliet up in the wave. Julia knocks Jack out with a single punch. Pussy.

Sawyer gets a rock, takes off his shoes and does some other complicated stuff, and hits the levers in the right order. "Reward, Reward," the speakers say, and march music blares. He gets a fish biscuit, some pellets and some nasty looking water. Sawyer make food!

Zeke leads Kate to a nearby cage. Her wrists are raw and bleeding. Zeke says he'll get her some antiseptic, and Sawyer smarts off and asks for a blow dry. Zeke praises Sawyer's fish biscuit ability, but points out that "it only took the bear two hours."

Sawyer comforts Kate, who's making the sad face, and compliments her dress. He ever shares his fish biscuit with her. It must be love.

Jack wakes up, and makes the brilliant observation that glass wall + lots of water = aquarium. Yep, you're in a goldfish bowl. Juliet confirms that this is an underwater Dharma station named Hydra.

He asks if the Others are what's left of Dharma, and she says that it doesn't matter who they were, it matters who they are. Thank you for our pseudo-philosophy moment. I don't know who we got through an episode without it.

Juliet's got a thick file that has pretty much Jack's entire life in it -- it's even got a copy of his dad's autopsy report. Her Google-fu is strong. Jack asks about his ex, and Juliet asks what he wants to know.

Flashback!

Sarah bails Jack out of jail after the AA meeting from heck. They have yet another soap opera argument. Sarah says Jack knocked his dad right off the wagon and stomps off without telling him who her new guy is.

Back on the island, you would think that Jack would ask who in pie was Sarah's new guy, right? Well, because he's Jack, he doesn't. He asks if Sarah's happy. Juliet says she is, and Jack cries. If this stupid plot goes on any longer, I'm gonna cry too.

Juliet shoves some food into the cell, and weepy Jack sits as meek as a little kitten. Ben tells her she did a good job.

And that's it? And hour to get Sawyer a fish biscuit and Jack a sandwich??? Damn you "Lost"!!!

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The Descent Into Crazy (and a few tattoos)

Well, it's Tuesday again. For once, I've got to say that I love this show.

Christian begins tonight's feast of carnal sin with a homoerotic dream about Sean. Somehow though, I'm not sure whether I'm watching South Park or Nip/Tuck. Scientologists? Crazy voltmeters determining Thetans? And now Sean, I mean Tom Cruise, won't come out of the closet! Thankfully the whole creepy dream is over before too long, but not before I've seen more than my share of that mold--I mean hair--growing all over Sean's chest.

Back in the real world, Sean and Julia have decided to go on a honeymoon as we learn that the male nurse has some severe diarrhea. And just as Christian is defending his pure love for Michelle in the middle of the OR (why do they think it's appropriate to have these conversations in front of the RNs?) JR shows up with a penis pump attached to his member. Christian gives him some pills and an icepack and "pop!" off it comes. Thankfully Michelle is only a few doors away, and off he goes to make the best possible use of his erection.

Brooke "Bend Over" Sheilds is back, asking Christian to help her by removing the "Property of Marco" tattoo on her lower back. Turns out she's a sex addict with a nasty past.

Sean arrives home to find that (Surprise!) Crazy is back in his living room. Julia's holding a great big spoon and mixing it in with the peanut butter, explaining that Male nurse has a stomach virus and Monica will be filling in while they go on the honey moon. After Julia leaves to pick up Connor (he does conveniently make a few appearances in this episode) Crazy says to Sean, "Haven't you learned you can trust me yet? I'm a professional!"

During Brooke's tat removal, she advises Christian to confront the woman in his homoerotic dream and reveal his feelings. Both Michelle and Kimber were in this particular dream, helping to remove Sean's chest hair, so I'm really not sure who he's thinking about here. Conveniently, he finishes up and Michelle locks him in the break room so that he can finish her off. Instead, he confronts her and tells her to go back to JR--it's over. Later, he thanks Bend Over for the advice and we find out that Brooke actually thought the woman Christian cared for was her.

Sean uses his brilliant reasoning skills and goes back to Crazy's apartment, where she is about to pierce her own belly button. He ends up doing it for her, and as final evidence of her lunacy she doesn't even flinch when the needle goes through. He gives her a wad of cash and tells her to get lost. Is that super-crazy I see boiling in those eyes?

No! It was super-duper-crazy! I thought she was going to set something on fire, but instead she goes to Sean and Julia's house and starts breast-feeding the lobster baby instead! That's gotta pinch.

So, as Sean frets about how to handle the crazy nanny he gets 2 sets of advice: Christian says to let it go because Julia will never believe the crazy anyway; and Devil Tattoo man returns to say that the only solution is to "kill the bitch".

Cut to Dr. Troy arriving at Chez J.R. Turns out that he an dMichelle have been summoned there unexpectedly. J.R presents each of them with evening wear, then demands that they have sex while he watches rather than doing it in secret. Christian tries to tell him it's over, but JR has something else in mind. They can either screw each other while he watches or, (and I must quote here) he "swears on these fake balls of mine that I will ruin you both." They have 24 hours to come up with an answer.

AAAAAA! Turns out Brooke is behind it all. She actually came after JR to put this little plan in action! Now who's putting peanut butter in the crazy?!

Speaking of crazy, Monica shows up at the office with an infected nipple from all the fake breast-feeding. Devil-man tries again to convince Sean to off her, but Sean caves and tells her to seek psychological treatment instead. She runs out threatening to tell the police that he raped her and



OH, SMACK! Literally! I love this show, I really do. She gets flattened by a city bus, leaving a trail of blood and guts on the asphalt and the words "I'll tell Julia" hanging in the air like a little balloon.

Sadly the fun doesn't last long because now we have to watch JR watch Christian have sex with Michelle. Cree-py. Nuf said.

Julia and Sean share a romantic dinner as Julia wonders what ever happened to sweet Monica. Little does she know that Monica and her leaky brains are right there at the table across from Devil Tattoo man in Sean's mind.

The episode ends with Ms. Bend Over bent over again, this time getting a new tat in her secret target zone: "Property of Christian Troy".

Seriously--I don't know where the crazy starts and the peanut butter begins.

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Grey's Anatomy: Sometimes a Fantasy

Okay, I've caught up on Grey's and I'm really not happy with the direction of the show right now. The show resembles a cheesy soap opera now rather than a quirky ensemble medical drama. Now it's all about sleeping with one another or the ramifications of doing so. The latest plot development of McDreamy and Finn competing for Meredith sounds like every other Saved By the Bell episode. I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks of cockblocks and Princess Mer running around dangling her bounty in front of these two toolboxes. Just thought I'd warn you.

We start with the thematic voice over from Mer about fantasies and her particular fantasy is a menage with Finn and McDreamy. Hmm...kinda slutty, kinda racy, kinda makes me wonder if Mer really is the type of girl who likes two orifices filled at once...anyway she's woken up by George yelling about something. She tries to force herself back to sleep and continue the dream, heh I thought I was the only one who did that, but it doesn't work. Her hands stay above the covers and then she decides to investigate.

George is freaking out since Dr. Husky has been living with him for over a week and he's begging Mer to kick her out. Poor George, looks like they neutered you again. I was starting to like ballsy George, too. Anyway Dr. Husky comes out of the shower and she's taken all of the hot water. It seems like Izzie's up now and ready to try to get back in the program. George whines to Callie that she's got his towel so she gives it to him right in front of he and Mer. Mer had a great facial here no joke. I kept checking her eyes to see if she was checking out wet, naked, Dr. Husky, but she didn't.

Cut to McSteamy and Addie. He's wanting to hang out for a bit. Since Addie isn;t used to manly men who give her attention, she's trying to shoo him away and get him back to New York. Addie thanks him "for all the sex" and offers to call him a cab to the airport. McSteamy's like "Naw" and grabs her back into bed.

Burke's hand hasn;t recovered and he's acting out. Yang, still getting used to this empathizing thing is all lost.

Izzie gets to the front of the hospital and freezes. She wants to take a minute to practice her speech before she goes in. Meanwhile, Bailey is pleading her case to the Chief. She sells it like only Bailey can. The Chief agrees to hear Izzie out if she comes in. Bailey's so awesome and one of the few things remaining that I like about the show.

Enter Yang and Mer, Yang is bitching that all Burke was doing about his rehab was playing with himself on the couch "and not in a good way” Wait, there's a good way? I wish someone would have explained that to the woman I used to live with. So let me get this straight Yang would have been happy if instead of throwing a tennis ball against the wall, he was sitting on the couch diddling with his pee-pee? She wouldn't have chucked the remote control at his head?

Mer runs into McDreamy, she immediately goes into telling him she dreamt about him last night. McDreamy sets a dinner date. Exit McDreamy, enter Finn. Seriously dude, you don't even work there! Mer tells Finn she dreamt about him, Mer has to turn down dinner, but Finn says he can come to the hospital for lunch and eat shitty hospital food. Man he sucks. They both suck. Batman must be crying in his cowl right now. Anyway, Yang get confirmation about the threesome dream and says "Just when I think you're boring, you rise". Rise to what? Less boring and more annoying? I feel like Rick James stomping away at a couch. Still no credits...

Alex runs into Izzie who still hasn't budged. Man, first hugs the floor all episode long, two weeks ago and now she's going to stand in one spot? Did she have to film Under Siege 6 or something?

Assignment time. Yang gets McDreamy for this week's Brain Surgery, Mer gets nothing of consequence, Alex gets Addie McGynie and George is requested by Dr. Husky in ortho for a smothering procedure. Addie has to take a call from McSteamy so she sends Alex to the pit.

His patient is the girl from "Little Miss Sunshine" who’s got massive cuts on her legs and arms. Aww, poor girl, she looked much better when I last saw her dancing on the stage to "Superfreak" and boy was I pissed when I couldn't go back to sleep to continue that one. KIDDING!!! Her injuries are so bad that Alex suspects child abuse. She shows her arm and it's held together with staples. She begs Alex not to turn her in. She tries to tell him she doesn't feel any pain. To demonstrate she pulls the staples out of her arm, pulls Alex close and explains that she has superpowers. Hey, it's just like that crappy show that’s everyone's talking about on NBC...Deal or No Deal, right? Finally, we get the F'N credits.

We come back to see the Brain surgery candidate of the week. He's a new father who suffers five seizures a day. He wants to get his brain cut in half so he has the chance to help raise his son. His wife doesn't think the surgery is a good idea. Yang is on the case so of course she's going to learn a lesson of some kind. If she can get past her Yang-centric mindset, that is.

Karev and Bailey are still trying to diagnose Little Miss Sunshine and Bailey orders a cold pressure test to measure her pain.

George and Dr. Husky of the Smothering Tribe have a discussion about George acting all weird. Hey just because he's a puss puss doesn’t mean he's all that weird. They'll be giving a triathamalete an ankle transplant. Our patient treats surgeries like tune-ups having had four in the last year.

Little Miss Sunshine explains that she really is a superhero. She explains that she helps protect the weaker kids and all that stuff, you know, like a certain vet wonder on this show used too. That is, until he got kicked out of the Batcave for being a wuss. Alex challenges her to the cold test. They both stick their hands in the ice water and LMS won't shut up about her superpowers. Seriously, if she doesn't shut up I'm going to punch her in the stomach.

Addie meets McSteamy at Joe's and says his flight was cancelled...on account of he doesn’t want to stop having sex with Addison quite yet. Does he get a stipend from the airline for that? He talks her into staying for coffee. Having someone who actually desires her doesn't wear well with Addie. Having your house shit on will do that to a girl.

LMS is still yapping while kicking Alex's ass in the cold pressure test. Karev is dumbfounded, but LMS explains that to prove her powers to the other kids she lets them punch her in the stomach. The reason she's in there is that they did...25 times...and once with a baseball bat.

Back to the brain patient... He's holding his son while Yang explains to his wife how shitty life is going to for HER, having to help him recover and all. Yang keeps rattling on about how little things like being unselfish are getting to her and she keeps rattling on. The wife gets so caught up in this that neither she not the f'n DOCTOR in the room five feet away notices that he is having a seizure. They catch it just time before any harm is done. Wife is sufficiently spooked now. Way to go Yang.

Izzie? She's still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't believe I just went there. I hate this show.

Back to Addie and Mark in the bar. She tries to rationalize her transcontinental booty call. She slaps hip for trying to kiss her, but it looks like it just flipped the "I'm going to do you...again" switch. Addie goes back to work, leaving McSteamy with his smirk and his cheese in the wind.

Callie and George talk about their patient...sorry I'm just so distracted by the fact that Dr. Husky is such a hoss compared to George. Seriously, her shoulders are broader than his!!! I never noticed this before until they were side by side. She's like his personal lineman! I'm not knocking her, she’s a normal woman. It's more like George must be this teeny tiny guy, with a bowling ball for a head. He's like a male version of a lollipop girl.

Lunchtime! It's time for Vet Wonder and Mer's date.


George comes up to Yang and Karev's table and they've got a pile of paper on the table. They've got a wager on whether or not McDreamy is going to let the date be or if he shows up for the cockblock. They have some pretty cool play-by play. While waiting Alex asks George if he likes comic books and he says no but mouths yes. George gives some longwinded geeky explanation of why punching bag might think she's a superhero. He explains it as if a comic book origin would apply here. I've read comics since I was five. Since his answer didn't include the term "batshit crazy” I would never have given an answer like that one. Hate.

Anyway, Mc Dreamy walks by the table and starts to walk away. Alex starts to collect, thinking McDreamy would be a secure, confident dude in this situation. "He takes it like a man, and walks away" says Alex. Not so fast dude. McDreamy doubles back and offers Mer a chance to scrub in on the brain surgery. Immediately! Mer can't refuse and Robin takes it...IN THE FACE!!! Really, Batman is monitoring this on the Bat computer and throwing O'Donnell's stuff out of Stately Wayne Manor as we speak. Finn looks like the doormat bitch here. I don't expect a fist fight, but Finn should have at least gone to the parking lot and slashed McDreamy's tires.

While McDreamy is gloating, Mer defends Finn's ability to take the heat. I hate this storyline. Meanwhile LMS asks Alex to punch her in the stomach again. Bailey mentions LMS's condition to Addie and Addie calls it immediately. She can't feel pain. They find something ominous.

McDreamy performs his brain surgery with Mer and Yang in tow. Somehow they find it appropriate to talk about Burke. McDreamy brings up leave of absence and Cristina almost loses it.

George tries to talk to Izzy...still standing outside. She goes off on the idea of brides and bridesmaids. She's still got a little of the Crazy. At least its sorta justified. George goes back in to talk the Ankle replacement patient and he offers to take him to the cadaver.

Alex and Bailey explain to LMS's parents that she is going to need surgery since she has internal bleeding...then LMS disappears. It would have been cool if she teleported to Japan. Okay so I admit that I saw the last five minutes of “Heroes” last week This epsiode has been like a cross between that show and “The Bachelorette”

Yang confronts Burke after he's submitted his leave of absence. Burke is trying to explain to her that it could take years before he's fully recovered. He's feeling a little sorry for himself. If Cristina weren't thinking about how much this is putter her out, that would have been the perfect time for an Adrian Balboa "Time to inspire, Rocky" speech. Instead she just lets him walk away.

George has Ankle Guy in the um...dead body place. Ankle guy is shocked that such an old looking guy is going to be the donor. We cut to Dr. Husky who finds out that her ankle surgery is cancelled. Uh-oh Husky angry Husky SMASH!!! George luckily gets called away to look for LMS.

We see Mer and McDreamy squabbling about the surgery, Addison sees them too and she's a bit shaken and exits before she runs into them. I know how you feel Addie.

While looking for LMS, George starts spouting off more geek speak about heroes. He invokes Green Lantern who even if you take away his ring is still a hero. He also brings up Batman and how he had to put up with Robin barging in and saying "I'm going to live here, too! Give me some tights I'm taking your towel!" Um I think this is Grey's trying to be Meta. Combined with George's pussitude it really doesn't work here. Husky smash! She comes down the hall to confront George. George blurts out in the middle of a professional discussion that he isn't ready to live with her yet. Apparently Husky had asked him if it was okay four times (all off camera I think) and he never said anything then. She gets all pissy and says she's Outtie. Puny George Husky strongest. George. Run. Now.


Mer is searching for LMS and opens up the Supply Closet. She finds a crying Addie instead. SUPPLIES!!! Addie says for her to pick a floor and stay on it, she needs time without her. Mer graciously agrees. What a considerate mistress.

Alex finally finds LMS who explains why she's freaking about the surgery. She thinks her foster parents will send her back to the system if she thinks she's defective. Alex says that they wouldn't send back a superhero. He even spouts off some Green Lantern geek speak ala George. So far this season Alex and Addie are the only characters not cringe inducing. I wonder how long it will take the writers to make them all horrible again.

McDreamy is working with the brain patient. He’s lost some part of his memory where he can’t identify the SAT's, a cup, or even his son's name. Wifey freaks out. Mc Dreamy explains to her that it's going to be tough and it will take patience and hard work and that she needs to be supportive. Yang overhears this and learns a lesson...I hope.

Bailey is doing surgery on LMS where she platitudes that "pain is there for a reason". Alex hears this and Alex learns a lesson too.

Blech!!! It's the end of McDreamy and Mer's date. Mer is about to invite him in for a drink or coffee...when in from out behind the bushes is Finn!!! Well at least he remembered Batman's stakeout lessons. I would have rather seen a stealth batarang thrown between McDreamy's eyes but instead he shows up with ice cream. Neither of these two deserves to be called men. Finn and McDreamy then proceed to have the bitchiest pissing contest I've ever seen. There wasn't even a "How's my dick taste?" Seriously, I can't take much more of this. Mer says enough is enough, and goes off on how she wants to be taken on a real date, she wants candy and flowers and she wants them to try to feel her up. She goes on about how this isn’t her fantasy. She wants heat, romance, and to feel like "a freakin' lady."

Anyway we wrap up...Husky, Chief, and McSteamy all check in the same hotel at the same time. Alex comforts Izzie. Yang decides to get tough with Burke, in a good way, and we close with Mer, George and Izzie all eating ice cream in the same bed.

Tags: Grey's Anatomy, TV

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