The Descent Into Crazy (and a few tattoos)

Well, it's Tuesday again. For once, I've got to say that I love this show.

Christian begins tonight's feast of carnal sin with a homoerotic dream about Sean. Somehow though, I'm not sure whether I'm watching South Park or Nip/Tuck. Scientologists? Crazy voltmeters determining Thetans? And now Sean, I mean Tom Cruise, won't come out of the closet! Thankfully the whole creepy dream is over before too long, but not before I've seen more than my share of that mold--I mean hair--growing all over Sean's chest.

Back in the real world, Sean and Julia have decided to go on a honeymoon as we learn that the male nurse has some severe diarrhea. And just as Christian is defending his pure love for Michelle in the middle of the OR (why do they think it's appropriate to have these conversations in front of the RNs?) JR shows up with a penis pump attached to his member. Christian gives him some pills and an icepack and "pop!" off it comes. Thankfully Michelle is only a few doors away, and off he goes to make the best possible use of his erection.

Brooke "Bend Over" Sheilds is back, asking Christian to help her by removing the "Property of Marco" tattoo on her lower back. Turns out she's a sex addict with a nasty past.

Sean arrives home to find that (Surprise!) Crazy is back in his living room. Julia's holding a great big spoon and mixing it in with the peanut butter, explaining that Male nurse has a stomach virus and Monica will be filling in while they go on the honey moon. After Julia leaves to pick up Connor (he does conveniently make a few appearances in this episode) Crazy says to Sean, "Haven't you learned you can trust me yet? I'm a professional!"

During Brooke's tat removal, she advises Christian to confront the woman in his homoerotic dream and reveal his feelings. Both Michelle and Kimber were in this particular dream, helping to remove Sean's chest hair, so I'm really not sure who he's thinking about here. Conveniently, he finishes up and Michelle locks him in the break room so that he can finish her off. Instead, he confronts her and tells her to go back to JR--it's over. Later, he thanks Bend Over for the advice and we find out that Brooke actually thought the woman Christian cared for was her.

Sean uses his brilliant reasoning skills and goes back to Crazy's apartment, where she is about to pierce her own belly button. He ends up doing it for her, and as final evidence of her lunacy she doesn't even flinch when the needle goes through. He gives her a wad of cash and tells her to get lost. Is that super-crazy I see boiling in those eyes?

No! It was super-duper-crazy! I thought she was going to set something on fire, but instead she goes to Sean and Julia's house and starts breast-feeding the lobster baby instead! That's gotta pinch.

So, as Sean frets about how to handle the crazy nanny he gets 2 sets of advice: Christian says to let it go because Julia will never believe the crazy anyway; and Devil Tattoo man returns to say that the only solution is to "kill the bitch".

Cut to Dr. Troy arriving at Chez J.R. Turns out that he an dMichelle have been summoned there unexpectedly. J.R presents each of them with evening wear, then demands that they have sex while he watches rather than doing it in secret. Christian tries to tell him it's over, but JR has something else in mind. They can either screw each other while he watches or, (and I must quote here) he "swears on these fake balls of mine that I will ruin you both." They have 24 hours to come up with an answer.

AAAAAA! Turns out Brooke is behind it all. She actually came after JR to put this little plan in action! Now who's putting peanut butter in the crazy?!

Speaking of crazy, Monica shows up at the office with an infected nipple from all the fake breast-feeding. Devil-man tries again to convince Sean to off her, but Sean caves and tells her to seek psychological treatment instead. She runs out threatening to tell the police that he raped her and



OH, SMACK! Literally! I love this show, I really do. She gets flattened by a city bus, leaving a trail of blood and guts on the asphalt and the words "I'll tell Julia" hanging in the air like a little balloon.

Sadly the fun doesn't last long because now we have to watch JR watch Christian have sex with Michelle. Cree-py. Nuf said.

Julia and Sean share a romantic dinner as Julia wonders what ever happened to sweet Monica. Little does she know that Monica and her leaky brains are right there at the table across from Devil Tattoo man in Sean's mind.

The episode ends with Ms. Bend Over bent over again, this time getting a new tat in her secret target zone: "Property of Christian Troy".

Seriously--I don't know where the crazy starts and the peanut butter begins.