Eeeew.

Well, Nip Tuck returned with an old, old friend this week--the crazy plastic surgery addict from Season 1 who had a stroke and went into hiding for 2 years. She's back, with her new caretaker Evetta, and they seem to care for each other in an amusing, Karen and Rosario sort of way. She now has stage four cancer, but wants to look good in the casket. When Christian tells her she'll never survive the surgery she says, "No problem! You'll just do them when I'm dead!" And with those words, we're off to another crazy, creepy episode.

Sean continues to be annoying about doing Connor's surgery, actually going so far as to take out some guy at the pancake house because his son made fun of Connor's hands. But, since Christian became an asshole again last week (and I think you all know what I'm talking about--that stunt with Kimber was particularly evil) Sean has to retreat to being the nice guy. Therefore, we are treated to a number of flashbacks that hint a traumatic deformity in Sean's past.

Back at the McNamara Ranch, Male nurse continues to be obstructionist about the surgery. When Sean brings Julia in for an interview with the hand surgeon, she has MN show up out of the blue and start asking questions about pain memories. When Sean gets pissed off and says so, Julia storms out of the session. Honestly, if I were Sean I'dve bitch-slapped Julia and made her sleep on the couch for a few days just for inviting MN without asking.

Evette calls Christian over to crazy surgery lady's house because she refuses to eat, and he talks her down with the promise of a Botox injection in exchange for eating. He also finds out that she might have been an interesting person who could've sung with Burt Bachrach if she hadn't gotten married and addicted to the knife. She tells Christian she loves him, and eats her soup. Unfortunately, when she stops by the office for her shot, she dies before he can even load up the needle.

Male nurse, in his overly sensitive, wrinkled-forehead way, decides that it's time for him to leave the household just as Julia decides that surgery is out for Connor. Then, in the creepiest on-screen moment since Doom did Rosie, they kiss! Eeeeeeeeeeeew.

Christian begins his post-mortem nip/tuck, and obsesses about what to say in her Eulogy. As he performs her final lypo, he is serenaded by the sweet, sweet sounds of Burt Bachrach and his dead patient.

Cut back to a stormy night at the McNamara house, and Sean (yawn) decides to reveal his secret to Julia. As the flashback plays out, a young Sean walks into get his photo taken for baseball and we see...



a cleft palette. As he comes clean to Julia and cries on her shoulder, we see the guilt-face on Julia for once instead of Sean. Does this mean I have to watch her nuzzle Male Nurse again?

The funeral arrives, and not one person other than Christian and Evetta bother to come despite a 500-person guest list. Even Evetta ends up a little miffed, when crazy leaves all of her substantial estate to Christian for a free plastic surgery fund. Well, at least she can get some free lypo. After Evetta leaves, Christian starts to give his eulogy, but ends up yelling at her instead. Sadly, it all ends with a reciprocal, "I love you."

The episode ends when Julia and Sean take Connor in for surgery together. Male Nurse shows up to wait with Julia in the lobby as the new hands take shape. I think I might need to take some dramamine before next week's episode. Just the previews made my stomach lurch a few times.