Wednesday, April 19, 2006

OC Recap- The Dawn Patrol

OC Recap- The Dawn Patrol

Okay here it is. I'm just getting it in under the wire. I'll be more timely with these in the future. True there were problems with the screencaps and the layout, but there was another thing that kept me from finishing this recap which was I HATED THIS EPISODE!!!! It was painful to watch and painful to write about. The biggest problem I had with this episode was the Marissa redemption. They have fallen into this trap where Marissa has become the most abhorable character on this show. However since she is one of the main characters they are stuck with her, so to boost her up a bit they give her a storyline where she does something slightly admirable while writing the other featured characters like assholes to make her look good by comparison. Cheap cheap gimmick to bail out a shitty character. They did the same thing on Smallville with Lana, they've done it here on the OC numerous times with Marissa and they are starting to do it on Grey's Anatomy with Meredith. I hate it and it makes me hate a show that does it!

On the plus side we begin to wrap up some horrible storylines as we head into the home stretch towards the season finale. It hasn't been soon enough. This episode focuses on four different story lines featuring Ryan, Seth, Marissa, and Sandy. Instead of doing a chronological recap I'll break it down by character.

Ryan's Story


Ryan has to deal with his upcoming graduation. After some brief bickering and snark Kiki encourages Ryan to go see his Mom in Albuquerque even though Sandy Doesn't;t think it's a good idea. Kiki wins out and shares some really nice mothering moments with Ryan, something we don't see enough of on the show. We really haven't seen enough of Kiki at all this season.
Ryan gets to Albuquerque to find his Mom is off shift at the diner. He meets a cute waitress who creepily starts some "knows way too much about Ryan" banter with him. Upon introduction, she should have just winked and licked her lips saying "I KNOW who you are, yo!" Cute Waitress is just that. Cute. She has that "not Marissa" thing going for her that makes her 10,000 times more attractive than she actually is. She's really excited for Dawn that Ryan is in town. He tells cute waitress he'll be back. After he leaves Cute Waitress starts to get that "I'm gonna have sex with the son of my friend and co-worker" look in her eye. Don't be coy, you know which look I'm talking about! This one!
Ryan comes back later that night and stalks his Mom, watching her waitressing through the diner window. He's not quite ready to confront her yet. He stays outside. Cute Waitress is conveniently off work. She asks Ryan if he wants to go somewhere and "talk or something". Ryan recently freed from the shackles of wussitude that is Marissa, agrees. Playa Play!

Cute waitress and Ryan end up in a bar where 32 year old Ryan is all "heh, I'm underage and I'm drinking beer". Cute Waitress gives Ryan the update on Dawn's new man. Apparently he's a tattooed biker with a big snake...as a pet. Poor Ryan has been through this before and he sees history repeating itself. All he needs is a genetic facial deformity and he'd be just like that kid in MASK. Cute Waitress asks Ryan to dance and he pulls a "Brandon Walsh don't dance" but he dances anyway. Girl! Seconds later they are stumbling into his hotel room getting nekkid.

Next morning, Slutty Waitress is all about to bounce with the "let's keep it on the down low" speech. She sees the Graduation tickets and makes a comment how Dawn and her new man are going to fit right in with the Noopsies. She wants the social class disparity caught on film. Bitch! As she leaves, Ryan gets the "I think I'm gonna pull a dick move and not invite my Momma" look. Uh-oh. He calls Seth which pushes him over the asshat side. He's decided to not tell Dawn about graduation. Yeah, whatever, like that ever works!

Ryan gets to the diner and Dawn turns into a puddle. Ryan gets the "Oh snap, i'm a dick!" look on his face. His plan of dickery falls apart in about five seconds since Slutty Waitress has already told Dawn that Ryan was in town and also told Dawn about his graduation to which she accepts the graduation invite before she's even invited. Slutty Waitress has now screwed Ryan twice.

Later, back at Ryan's hotel Dawn and Slutty Waitress are showing him the dress she just bought for his graduation. Ryan's dickishness can't be contained and he tells Dawn that the ceremony is stupid and a waste of time and that he and Seth are gonna just "blow off" graduation and go out of town so she doesn't really need to go. RYAN! Writers come on! If Ryan were going to be a dick he would have just told his Mom the truth. That's who he is. Don't force this bullshit turn on him! Mom calls him on it and splits. RYAN=DICKHEAD!!!

Ryan explains to slutty waitress Dawns pattern of dating drunks who in turn have abuse Dawn and Ryan his entire pre-Cohen life. Slutty Waitress gets all self righteous and tells Ryan that Dawn met new guy in Rehab and he's been sober for 12 years and that he takes care of her and buys her shit. Ryan's like, gee I wish you would have told me that before we had sex! Slutty Waitress offers to drive him to the airport but she has to make a stop on the way. This. Sucks.
Slutty Waitress takes Ryan to the Diner and totally invades Dawn privacy by showing him the Ryan Shrine Dawn has in her locker...you know how this ends...sigh.

Sandy's Story

S
andy and Matt have a brief scene in the forgettable hospital storyline. Matt is convinced he can get, Dr. Griffin, a guy who has already had him beaten to a pulp, to pay for his lost earnings and "pain and suffering" by blackmailing him. Yeah, whatever, like that ever works! Seriously, writers! Quit it y'all! What's next? Matt starts a website for pet supplies? He concocts a scheme to plant a finger in Wendy's Chili? He's going to start dating Marissa? THIS. Sucks.

Sandy meets with Dr. Griffin and tells him to lay off Matt. Dr. Griffin cautions him to stop worrying about Matt and focus on the Kajillion dollars they are going to make on this hospital deal. While you're at it Sand-Man why don't you also focus on your smoking-hot recovering alcoholic wife. Instead you're turning into Darth Sandy or worse Kiki's Dad! I hear that works wonders for a marriage.

Sandy tells Matt to get his happy ass out of dodge. Matt, the dumbass young business exec of the year, says by having incriminating evidence, he holds all the cards. STUUUUPIDDD!!!!

Meanwhile, Kiki with nothing better to do. Tells Sandy she's had enough of his shady business shenanigans and what they really need is a quiet romantic dinner. Sandy agrees and promises her he'll be there...except he isn't...SANDY=DICKHEAD!!!

Matt meets with Dr. Griffin to exchange the money for the evidence. Of course, Dr. Griffin is simply there to take the evidence and beat Matt silly again. Sandy sneaks around the back door takes the evidence out of Matt's car. He stops Matt's planned beating by telling Dr. Griffin Matt was bluffing. Doc and his goons leave. Sandy gives Matt some F.U. money to get out of town.

Meanwhile, Kiki isn't going to stand there with her cheese in the wind. She throws Sandy's dinner in the garbage. Pull out a bottle of wine and clutches it...until she decides against it and pours it out. Sandy comes home, with no dinner, cold shoulder from wifey, marriage in the shitter, but incriminating evidence to store in the safe.

Seth's Story

Okay this is hurting way too much. Long story short. Summer is determined to get to the bottom of why Seth dumped her. She and Taylor decide to set it up to where She and Seth have detention together. Meanwhile, Cohen mopes and sticks to his guns about lying about not getting into Brown.

They go to "detention" in the school lounge where Summer re-enacts the famous coffee cart scene. She hops her adorable self on top of the stand and declares her love for Cohen. She tells Cohen to look her in the eye and tell her he doesn't love her anymore...seriously yo...Yeah, whatever, like that ever works! Cohen, who obviously has no problem lying to Summer, tells her he doesn't love her. She yells at Cohen to leave. SETH =DICKHEAD!!!!

He does have a change of heart at the end of the episode, but instead of just telling Summer the truth, he enlists Ryan into helping him concoct a scheme to get into Brown. THIS. SUCKS.

Marissa's Story

Blech we return from the credits with F'N Marissa, She's greeted by Volchock who snuck in the house. Julie walks in and gives the first of many verbal smackdowns to Greasy McSlimy. Julie decides this is the week where she actively gets involved in Marissa's life and takes the "Stay the hell away from my daughter stance". Yeah, whatever, like that...oh I give up! Sigh.

The meat of this plot line is that at one of those out of control Newport Beach Public School Surfer ragers at Volchock's, Mean girl Heather is at the party and we see her at first already drunk and stripping and all into one of Volchock's punk-ass buddies.
Marissa spies punk-ass slipping roofies into already blitzed out of her mind Mean Girl Heather's drink. Talk about overkill. What exactly does he have planned for Heather that she wouldn't be willing to do already? Does he have a donkey and a webcam stashed out back?

It turns out punk-ass and his buddies decide to play Casey Jones and start riding that train in a van outside the house. Marissa breaks it up. She runs back to Julie crying. She's the winner of this weeks morality challenge on the OC. Instead of Berkeley Marissa should be admitted into STFU!!! Hate.

Next Epsisode: Anna, I'm-not-trying-to-be-Watts-from "Some kind of Wonderful" is back. Theresa is back with some Baby Mamma drama for Ryan!



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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aight lets see here. First you worked in the word "dickery" that skyrockets the entry to top place. But then you pulled out

"Slutty Waitress has now screwed Ryan twice"

I don't care how it happens, writing like this is gold, solid 24 carrot gold.

Anonymous said...

I almost forgot. They're from the OC, they don't take junk like that from nobody, yo.

Anonymous said...

I can't wait for the baby's mamma drama!! Bring it!! My favorite part of this entry is Ryan's story because there are just too many truths and that's the way we roll. Save us from the demons Brother Jim!