Nip/Tuck--a look back

Aight suckas. Stop your grumbling. Paj and I have lives to live, you know?

So, if you missed Nip/Tuck two weeks ago you should still be hitting yourself upside the head, because it was the best episode I've seen since the Nanny got smacked into next year by a city bus. I can still see the blood trail in my mind... Really I can't do this episode justice, so suffice it to say that Satan the serial killer came back for another face lift, the loser plastic surgeon (henceforth to be known as Waldo. Why? Because I said so.) came back for an "anal retread" after being Satan's bitch for a few years and--oh yes--I believe there was midget sex. Do yourself a favor and do whatever it takes to watch this one. For future episodes, the main thing you need to know is that neither Satan nor the leaky-headed nanny should be bothering Sean anymore.

This Tuesday it was back to the future for some unsettling makeup and baby Connor's second hand surgery. It was finally time to write Julia off the show. Paj will be doing a full recap, so here are a few of my rants:

Connor, now 18, is visiting his therapist trying to get his shit straight before a traumatic surgery to fix his other hand. Apparently his parents haven't spoken in years, his sister is a mess, and he is blaming the whole thing on himself. The therapist asks why, and cue the wavy screen effect:

It was a dark and stormy night. Hurricane Lurleen (I think I have this wrong, but I like Lurleen so I'm sticking with it) is moving in and should hit Miami as a category 5 storm. Now I must vent here for a moment. ANYONE who has EVER been through a hurricane knows that it does not storm for 3 days prior. In fact, it is always creepy calm. So it was a little difficult for me to hear dialogue over my own shouting, "Bullshit! this is Bullshit!"

Back to the future again, and Connor tricks the family into getting together for dinner the night before his surgery. The best part about this episode is that Annie, now older and completely screwed up, gets to say everything we've been mumbling under our breath this season. For example: "You were the worst parents ever! Like, remember when I cut up my dolls' hands to look like Connor's just because I was trying to process, and you completely freaked out? No wonder I'm a mess!" Paj, you know there was a better line but I'll save that for you. Let's just say it was a pleasure to meet her boyfriend. I also couldn't help but notice that she holds her cigarette just like an old Phillipino friend of mine...

Other than that, there were a lot of fake wrinkles and liver spots on the lead characters, and I knew that I had truly entered Bizarro world when Matt was decent looking. Christian was waaaay over the top as a sleazy old man. I bet the outtakes from this stuff were better than the actual episode.

Overall, I thought the episode was pretty weak, but they got rid of Julia and the male nurse, so that's not all bad. It'll be interesting to see what happens next.