Survivor: Why Aren't You Swimming?

Nate kicks it Aitu style, lounging by the campfire and listening to the talk. And Flicka's the one doing most of the talking -- she was blindsided by the vote to boot Cao Boi, and she wants to know what's going on. In detail. Right now. Now, dangit!!!

Yul's a little concerned they're having this discussion in front of Nate, who's practically taking notes. But he's got bigger problems -- he's got to keep his alliance together. Becky and Candice are rethinking the whole thing, and they want to cut Jonathan loose much earlier than planned. Yul admits it might be worth considering booting Jonathan before Sundra, and thinks of a final three consisting of him, Becky and Candice.

The tribes get catalogs before the reward challenge, so they can pick two items for their reward. Aitu laughs it up and makes picking peanut butter and potatoes a group activity, but over on the Lord of the Flies set, otherwise known as Raro, tensions are brewing.

Brad suggests picking potatoes for some pretty good reasons -- carbohydrates are good, and they'll last longer. But FrankenAdam want bread, arrruuuugh!!! And Pavarti wants a sammich. They argue, Brad gives in, but like anyone who disagrees with FrankenAdam, Brad's now on the outs at Raro.

It's cold and rainy as Probst explains the reward challenge. Each team picks three swimmers and two puzzle makers. The first swimmer will grab a club, swim to a platform, climb to the top and leap off. While in midair, they will smash a plaster box releasing a key, retrieve that key from the water (it'll sink) and swim back to shore. After retrieving six keys, the two puzzle makers will use those keys to unlock a chest filled with puzzle pieces. First tribe to solve the puzzle wins reward. Each swimmer must go out at least once.

Brad insists he's good a puzzles and should be one of the puzzle makers. So Raro puts him and Jenny on puzzle duty and FrankenAdam, Pavarti and Rebecca on the swim team. Aitu has Ozzy, Yul and Candice swimming.

Rebecca is the first to swim for Raro, and she's lucky she doesn't drown. She barely hauls herself onto the platform, doesn't retrieve the key, and crawls back on shore with her boobs exposed to flop down like a dead fish. She's done. FrankenAdam and Pavarti have to pick up the slack, and as much as I dislike the both of them, at least they try. "Parvati is going back up for another swing at her box!" Probst says.

But it's no contest. Aitu dominates, wins reward and sends FrankenAdam to Exile Island.

On the bench, Nate (who was still technically kidnapped by Aitu and didn't participate in the challenge) is questioning Brad about why he didn't swim. Brad's like, "dude, puzzle!" but Nate makes a bitch face.

Aitu celebrates with peanut butter, and Flicka and Candice share a sloppy peanut butter kiss. Somewhere far away in Loser Lodge, Billy cries.

Nate has an unhappy reunion with Raro. He's cranky because he couldn't compete, but he's really cranky because Brad didn't swim. He questions Brad's loyalty to the tribe, and tops it off by calling him a "nancy boy."

I have so much Raro hate. I didn't like this bunch before, and now that Nate's breaking out the homophobic slurs, hate, hate, hate. Grrr.

Pavarti says she wants to punch Brad in the face, and Jenny acts like she does most of the time, which is to say bitchy. Yet no one mentions that maybe Rebecca should have mentioned she can't swim worth a damn.

FrankenAdam's not happy on Exile Island. It's gonna storm, he's huddled in a hole, and he's questioning whether Raro can win challenges -- probably because they lose all the time. "It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys," he says. Thanks for our daily dose of philosophy, King Turkey.

Over at Aitu, Ozzy of the Jungle strolls into camp with a bird he caught with his bare hands. Yul gets the job of killing the bird -- Jonathan holds a small, but dignified, memorial service.

Aitu is once again amazed at Monkey Boy's foodgathering ability. Candice says he's "like half animal, half man, part fish, part monkey, part lord knows what." Isn't that more than 100 percent??

Yul has realized that while he likes eating what Ozzy brings him (snark!) that Ozzy will be a real threat in individual challenges. Umm yeah -- have you seen the guy swim? He's gonna be a powerhouse in anything physical. Luckily, he seems to have the brains of a seagull. Yul thinks they should get rid of Ozzy before the merge.

Ozzy wants to make an alliance with Flicka and Candice. "I might be more of a threat," Ozzy says, "but people that do stick with me are going to be able to enjoy a ride." (snark!)

Geez -- the jokes write themselves!

At the immunity challenge, the teams must arrange a group of heavy poles to build a staircase and run up to a platform. Then three members ride down a zip line to the water, retrieve bags of puzzle pieces and swim back. Then they all climb back up a rope ladder to the platform where their teammates are waiting to solve the puzzle. First team finished wins immunity.

The teams are pretty evenly matched in this one, and Raro might have its shit together for once. "The guys are comparing who has the longest pole!" Probst says. (snark!) Aitu's in the lead at the zip line ("Ozzy's in the monkey position!") but Raro makes up time. Brad swims!

Then Jenny kicks butt with the puzzle while FrankenAdam and Rebecca stand there with their thumbs up their butts. Raro wins, but only because of her.

Aitu is sad. Jonathan knows he's on the chopping block because the women think he's shifty. You know, that's not entirely deserved -- yeah, he's a player, but he hasn't done anything really underhanded so far. Maybe it's because he sounds just like Alan Alda. He suggests booting Flicka.

Flicka, for her part, has gone into full paranoia mode. She wants to boot Jonathan, and she's running around like she's on meth trying to sway people to her side. It's really annoying.

Yul sees that no one trusts Jonathan, and while Yul doesn't have any reason not to trust him, some of the suspicion is rubbing off. Poor Alan Alda.

At Tribal, Flicka does the happy love love thing, and Yul points out that its kind of nice to have someone like her around, because you don't have to worry she's doing anything. It's a nice way of calling her dumb.

Bye-bye, Flicka. You sucked at playing the game.

Tags: Survivor, Reality TV, TV