American Idol 05.16.06 The Top Three Perform

Last week: We had Kat singing Hound Dog, Chris wearing sunglasses indoors, Elliott being evil in a cute cuddly way, and Taylor being "as original as he is every week".

It was the curse of Tamiyra Gray all over again, where the favorite at the beginning of the season gets too consistent to keep voters scared and then bows out in the final four. Of course we had Ryan tell Chris he was going home in the nastiest way possible which itself caused an uproar and lead to this reaction:


Then we have the most pissed off reaction EVER during a farewell montage. Chris really did have a bad day!

So now we have Taylor Hicks, Katharine McPhee, and Elliott Yamin vying for the title of American Idol and a career of making records that I will never buy. Hate the end product, but I love the show...I don't get it either. We get a big "booo" when we're reminded that Chris has been voted off. This week each of the Idols will be singing three songs. One chosen by music mogul Clive Davis, one chosen by one of the three judges, and one song of the contestants choosing.

We get a montage of how Clive Davis has signed everyone ever. Tonight he's gonna have a sitdown with the Idols. He immediately puts the screws to Elliot by giving him a rock ballad, which he's never done before. It's not just any rock ballad it's f'n "Open Arms" by Journey. How they hell is someone gonna impress America by covering a Journey song??? I mean I dig Journey, but unless you have Steve Perry's range you ain't gonna cut it. Steve Perry doesn't even have Steve Perry range anymore.

Elliott give is a game effort and its soothing, but he sounds nervous, then I start singing along and then I can't hear him anymore. WTF? It's like a one minute version of the song. I was just getting out of my seat. Spoilsports. Randy who happened to be in Journey for awhile thought he did his thing, Paula says he did a great choice, Simon tells him to loosen up.

Next we have McPhee, the target of hatred of Hot Topic shopping Chris Daughtry fans everywhere. Clive wants to give her a song that she can dig into deep and make her own. It's "I Believe I can Fly" by R. Kelly. Yes, like you, images of underage porn immediately filled my head, and thanks to Chappelle's Show so did the image of peeing on people. I also thought about midgets with guns, but then again my mind just works that way.

Okay, nothing disastrous about the blue dress. The song...well first of all I hate this song, second, McPhee has this drama club expression on her face that's annoying,third she divas the song turning "it" to "eh EHeh eh eh eht!" and she does this while alternating over-enunciating at weird times. Kinda like a drunk British teacher. It's pretty painful all the way around. The she pulls out a "whoo" and a pointy pose ending. Ouch!

The Randy and Paula both start out with telling her how pretty she is, which is patronizing, sure, but also the easiest way to lead into "You sucked". Simon disagreed and said she created a moment.

Taylor is next with his regular weekly originality...and is given Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark", which Clive Davis requested from the "Boss" personally. Okay now that it's sunk in just a little, yes the video could get reenacted. Now I'm a closet Springsteen fan,I've always wanted to date a girl named Wendy just so I could sing "Born to Run" to her someday...I can't believe I just typed that. What I'm saying is, I'm looking forward to this.

Sadly, Taylor doesn't start out with the Eddie Murphy White Guy dance that the video is famous for. Taylor's facials look like he's constipated. His voice is perfect for this song. He starts to go out into the crowd...and predictably pulls Paula out to dance with him. Ah, there's the White Guy dance. The judges rave, even Simon gives him an "okay". Taylor "Soul Patrol's" a few THOUSAND times.

Judges Choices

Poor Elliott, let the conspiracy theorists begin. Paula gets to choose his song. How unfair is that? Is there an hour of the day when she isn't hopped up or drunk. She picks "What You Won;t Do for Love" by Bobby Caldwell. Wha? Okay picking a song that isn't recognizable is such a handicap. Paula explains it's perfect for the Funky White Boy. Oh wait I know this song, from Soul Classics album commercials, the Soul station I listen to every now and then when I'm trying to catch the original "Have You Seen Her?", and I'm pretty sure this was the song sampled in Notorious BIG's
"Big Poppa".

Elliot sounds okay but the song choice has screwed him. Randy says that he's flat, Paula says it's solid, Simon rips the song choice but says he sounded pretty good. He got hosed.

Simon chooses Katharine McPhee's song and it's "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" which Simon explains is the perfect song for her. Now Kimberly Locke took this song and ran with it in Season Two and it took her all the way to Third Place. I don;t know if Kat can top that performance...but she's on the floor again so anything can happen. I have to hand it to her she knows what sells.

She knocks it out of the park. She kicks the diva voice to the curb and has the perfect expression on her face. It's really a great performance. Maybe she should sing all of her songs from the floor. The judges react accordingly and it's the best vocal for her of the season. Simon goes so far as to say it's the best performance of the competition. Yay Happy McPhee is back.

Randy picks "You are So Beautiful" for Taylor. Do I really even have to say what happens? Well I kinda do because Taylor forgets he's Taylor and totally reigns in his spazzing for most of the song. The judges love it as well and then Taylor jumps up and down and "Soul Patrols." Okay just when I thought he wasn't an evil robot...


Contestant's Picks

Elliot is probably gonna perform something Donnie Hathaway-esque and...he does with "I Believe to My Soul". I haven't seen a performer grow and progress like Elliott Yamin in the history of American Idol. I mean I looked back to the beginning stages and no way in hell would I have picked him to be in my Top Three. Tonight though it does seem like he belongs there.

The best part of the song is that he works his own name into the song. Kinda tricky when your name is "Elliott Yamin", but he pulls it off. The problem is on shows like this the Audience, especially the voting audience is going to want familiarity, they want songs they know. Elliott wiffed here strategically. It doesn't look good.

Kat comes out and is gonna get sultry with "I Ain't Got Nothing but the Blues". She looks like she's gonna stay upright this time. She comes out decked in these awesome hooker boots and a black dress and is totally slutted up. Once again the girl knows what sells. She reverts to the old McPhee and the performance is over theatrical and to put it simply she's looks too damn happy to have the blues.

Taylor picks "Try a little Tenderness" which has a spectacular spazz out potential at the end...I'll let the pics do the talking.



While it wasn't as spastastic as the singer from the movie "The Commitments" It's Taylor being Taylor again. Seriously he's probably gonna win this whole damn thing. Let that sink in for a bit.

Tags: American Idol, Reality TV, TV