Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgivings are generally not high on my personal lists of memorable holidays. Not that I don't enjoy it, but other than eating myself into oblivion and passing out on the nearest couch, the memories all blend together.

There are some exceptions though, like in High School, when I was a Thanksgiving guest at a friends and in front of his entire family, I had cider go through the wrong pipe and coughed up half of my first serving of stuffing at the table. Good Times!

Also, when I was in Catholic School, we all got to dress up as Pilgrims or Indians. I always dressed as an Indian, but crying everytime I saw a can thrown out of a window got old. The raping of my women and having my land stolen sucked too...those Sacred Heart pilgrims didn't play, yo!

There was the year I drove around LAX for two hours looking for parking and barely made my flight, Seriously, they held the plane for me and I was a ball of sweat by the time I made it on the plane. Thank God it was LAX rather than say ATL or Charlotte. Otherwise, I would have spent Thanksgiving eating at the In and Out next to the The Spot. Hmmm, come to think of it, maybe the Turkey Burger 10x10 (ten patties, ten slices of cheese) is on their secret menu. If anyone *cough* J-Man, wants to try this out, let me know how it goes.

There was also the year I celebrated Thanksgiving in London, which is pretty disrespectful if you think about it...we're giving thanks to annexing from YOU! A friend of mine were on a hot Karaoke streak in London Pubs and we somehow convinced a band to play "Sweet Home Alabama". The band knew the music but they didn't know the words so they LET US SING!!! It was probably the most jingoistic moment of my life. Well,there was the time I started a "USA" chant under my breath at a friend's wedding, but I won't get into that.


One year, I miraculously ended up watching the first ever WWF Survivor Series and it was like Christmas came early . Was there ever a cooler team than "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, Jake "The Snake" Roberts , "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, and Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake? The best part was I was a guest of a friend of a friend who was a Hogan fan. He nearly cried when the Hulkster got counted out of the main event leaving Bam Bam Bigelow to face One Man Gang, King Kong Bundy and Andre the Giant by himself. I still say Hulk did it on purpose because he was scared. "So Long, Butch Reed!" is still on the short list of my favorite Gorilla Monsoon calls.

There was also the Thanksgiving where I made this awesome spread of toast, popcorn, and jellybeans. Then, my future gym-teacher friend, who insisted on always wearing flip flops, even in November, came over and made the bitch-face about how we didn't have turkey or pumpkin pie. This was after SHE put me up to making food the whole gang! I was a n f'n kid what the hell did she expect? What an ingrate! Okay fine, you got me. MY DOG made the toast, popcorn, and jellybeans. Oh yeah, and it wasn't me it was Charlie Brown. 'Cause that's how Chuck rolls!


Anyway .here's something to tide y'all over until tomorrow. It's Adam Sandler's Thanksgiving song. Happy Thanksgiving, SUCKAS!