Survivor the Reunion Show!

After all the celebrating dies down, we get a montage of Yul's path to victory. "The Godfather" label is still prominent, but not as annoying as it was in the promos. Ozzy looks devestated as I guess anyone would be if they had just lost a million dollars.

Jeff brings up the immunity idol factor and the mutiny and how he was able to work it and keep the Aitu four together. Which brings us to Candice, who has to explain her dumb ass decision to mutiny. Mind you she was in a four way alliance with Becky, Yul ,and Johnathan, the three craftiest but logical players in the game. Candace tells us that she had talked to Nate and Parvati and she felt good about working with them. Hmm, Yul, Becky, and Johnathan vs. Nate and Parvati. Really.
Three of the smartest people as allies ditched for two of the dumbest actor-wannabees ever on a reality show. Maybe Candance just felt she needed to be the smartest one in her alliance. That insecurity and a million dollars will get you a million dollars. Good move there!

Yul goes into depth on how he convinced Johnathan to turn on Raro. It turns out he convinced Johnathan that Raro thought Johnathan had the idol and that was what kept him safe. Therefore, there was a good reason Johnathan couldn't just tell people Yul had the idol, because if he did, they either wouldn't have believed him or they would have believed him and voted him out. That filled in the holes perfectly. Yul earns the title "Magnificent Bastard" for that one. I'm very impressed.

Adam reveals that his swing vote was influenced by a side deal that he and Yul made to vote Johnathan out. Adam credited it to Yul, even though it was really a group decision by the Aitu four. Ozzy had no idea and Jeff makes sure he really rubs it in. Poor Ozzie he looks so despondent he might end up weighing 400 pounds in his next porn.

Yul sings Becky's praises which leads to the obvious reminder that she couldn't start a fucking fire and the inevitable "showmance" question. Becky says it didn't even enter her mind. Yul gives a look that says he wishes it would have at least crossed her mind. She might as well have said that he was like a brother. Poor Yul, now all he has left is celebrity, the title of one of People Magazine's sexiest men, and a million dollars. Something tells me that Becky's parents calendar will be filled with social calls to Yul's parents.

The spotlight now turns to Ozzy. They show a montage of his merciless ass kicking over the last 13 weeks complete with the heel click shot. Jeff wants to know how he became so dominant. Ozzy explains that he was inspired by Robinon Curusoe and a pool in his backyard. Jeff sorta pshaws this explanation and looks like he's dying to ask "You swim so well because you're Mexican, right?"

Ozzy goes on to explain that he fell into a deep depression when he got back and aparently he ate his feelings. Not that he's fat, but rather puffy. Jeff brings up the Dad story and Ozzy gives props to his Father, 'cause his biological didn't bother. Lord help me, I just quoted a Shaquille O'Neal song.

Johnathan gets his turn on the hot seat. Jeff really won't let the villain thing go. Johnathan shoots him down with the perfect "There's no villain in Monopoly" line. Jeff's still like "but everyone saw you as a villain, Villain, how did you deal being treated like the villainous villain you were, Villain?"

Surprisingly Jenny and Rebecca get asked about their reactions to being booted before Johanthan. Jenny wishes she could have plead her case at Tribal after the surprise double boot.

Oh shit! Jeff introduces Seiku, the first boot of the season. It turns out he wrote a Survivor Song! This is like Christmas. The melody is totally lifted from Lionel Ritchie's "All Night Long" and then breaks out into chants of "Survivor" and "Yeah". We get only 10 seconds of the song but it's an awesome ten seconds. Yes, it was shit-tastic, but I'll admit it's better than the theme to the Survivor internet show.

Cao Boi's next and we get the red dot and dogeater joke montage. Jeff is still amazed that he's actually met an Asian who doesn't act like an Asian. Cao Boi breaks into his Asian Yakoff Smirnoff routine and I want to shoot myself. Jeff brings up the Asian jokes and Yul explains that he was proud he was able to represent and break some stereotypes. In my favorite part of the show, Cao Boi tries to get some last words in and Jeff just shakes his head "Naw" and moves on the Nate. Totally denied! I loved it!

Jeff brings up that Nate was observed to be the one person who didn't take care of his race since he was the catalyst for both Stephanie and Rebecca getting voted off. Nate says he was called a "Race Traitor" he tries to explain it was game and that he shouldn;t be expected to form sides with people just because they're the same race as him. SNAP! Stephanie doesn't let him off the hook because he trusted him. Rebecca also says that she felt betrayed as well. DOUBLE SNAP! Brad closes this segment explaining that he and Yul, but not Cao Boi, were able to present something different than the traditional Asian stereotypes. I'll just leave it at that.

Candace gets asked about the copling with Adam. Adam gives the update and leads with "Candace is a great girl..." which immediately gets some chuckles. He goes on to explain that they havc separate lives now. Which means not even Candance and Adam can stomach Candace and Adam. This also means Adam realizes that he's going to get laid for at LEAST the next six months based solely on the words "Survivor and "I have some projects I'm working on now". Guess he's not so dumb after all. Playa Play!

Nate gets questioned about Parvati and he admits there were feelings there. Parvati goes on to explain the "Boxer" occupation she was given and that the boxing she actualy does is "Model Boxing" aka "Foxy Boxing". I was hoping she actually worked in a box factory.

Quick updates. J.P. will be on the Janice Dickenson Modeling Agency continuing his reality TV career. Christina says that was teased by the other cops. Cecelia, who looks like Gina from Miami Vice, explains that it was still a great experience even though she was booted early. Flicka...is still annoying. Jeff points out to Billy that Candace is available now. Billy confesses that he was kinda insane when he decalred his love for Cadace and admits he stuck his foot in his mouth. Something tells me that if you see Billy anywhere on the street he'll be wearing that dumb-ass doo rag and skull shirt.

Ozzy wins the Mariner! That will surely ease the pain of the losing a million dollars. We see promos for Class War Survivor and we're done.

All in all I enjoyed this season of Survivor. I think the pressure of potentially exposing one's race to unfair stereotypes helped influence the pleasant outcome of the season. This season will likely be remembered as the "Aitu Four" season more than anything. Only time will tell if it reaches the Reality TV Folkore status joining the likes of "I wouldn't pee on you if you were on fire", "Omarosa", "Fingers in the Peanut Butter", "Come on be my Baby, Tonight", and "Someone shit on the steps!"