American Idol 05.23.06 McPhee v. Taylor

It all comes down to this. Katharine versus Taylor. The Kat Pack versus the Soul Patrol. Cleavage versus Convulsions. Entitlement versus the Contrived!!!! The winner is your next American Idol!

Live from the Kodak Theatre! At stake is what Ryan calls the "Most Important Title in Television" Okay I admit it I have been totally sucked in and I feel like I'm invested in this. Happy now? Celebs galore are out tonight to see this showdown. I swear I feel so out of touch when they flash out to the crowd and I don't recognize who is on the screen. Mandy Moore is there. Ben Stiller is there. And we're off!

Tonight's format each finalist sings three songs. Two of their choosing and their own single that's going to be released after the competition. They have a montage set to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" I don't even hear if the lyrics are sung but I belt out "born and raised in SOUTH DEEE-TROIIT" anyway. We see their ahem "Journey" and Taylor's metamorphosis from quirky underdog to Spazmatron 3000.

We also see flaky McPhee emerge as this year's guilty object of affection. Well guilty object of affection for me anyway.

Taylor when asked in the audition why he feels his voice should be heard, he replies with "Because I feel like I got one!". Katharine when introducing herself sings-songs" I really really REALLY want to go far in the competition." I think that's why Taylor charmed 33.68% of the voters as opposed to 33.22% Oh yeah they say "McPheever" and "Soul Patrol" a lot.

Okay hype over and Katharine goes first. The box drum guys are out again so it's time for "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree" which she sung a few weeks ago, and until last week was known as the "Song she sang on the floor" now it's known as "The first one she sang on the floor."
Nothing spectacular about what she's wearing but she is letting some mid-driff show which isn't all that bad. She sings this song upright tonight. For some reason tonight she seems to have less energy than when she had originally performed it. For what it's worth, as well, she moves much better on the floor than the she does standing up. She almost looks like she's doing the funky chicken at one point. She turns up the sex kitten act a bit by bumping and grinding against one of the box drum guys. Surprisingly the other guy gets no love at all. For me, it was better the first time around.
Randy isn't overwhelmed but says it was better this time around. Paula says it's fun but is looking forward to more. Simon says it's "good with a small g" He also says the occasion was bigger than that song, which actually hits the nail on the head. She reverts back to flaky, shruggy, with a bit of geeky McPhee which is what charmed me in the first place as she explains that she just wanted to start out fun. They also report that her dressing room was filled with roses sent by her fan clubs McPhans and Kat Pack sent her tons. She doesn't start yelping Kat Pack though.

Taylor is up next singing "Living for the City". This is where Kat might have made a mistake because Taylor is all about "fun" and immediately it shows. I mean shit, he's wearing purple velvet!!!
Taylor definitely has the home crowd advantage here. It's a standard Taylor Hicks performance with everything you've come to expect with the tour of the crowd the body convulsions. They totally eat it all up. He gets a rousing applause. Randy loves how he puts his stamp on everything. Paula got his dance down and gives a shout out to the crowd for getting his dance down too. She is so toasted right now. Simon declares Taylor the winner of round one. We almost make it to the commercial without hearing "Soul Patrol" but Taylor sneaks it in. Whew, I was worried that something was wrong with his programming.

Kat comes back swinging in round 2. She pulls out the other song she sang on the floor "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" which she sang last week. She'll be starting the "Christina's World" tour in two weeks.
In the context of American Idol the song is now "hers" and somewhere Kimberly Locke is smashing furniture right now. Not a bit different from the version she sang last week. So it's both "YAY" and "Meh" at the same time.

The judges have no choice but to love it since they loved it seven days ago. Katharine delves further into Drama Club land when she rejoices about starting on the right key when her ear monitor failed her.
Taylor punches back with "Levon" which was the song that showed America that he was more than a drunken party singer. Guess what Taylor, everyone prefers you as the drunken party guy. How dare you leave your box! Really I hate this song. I hate more that the crowd decides to wave their hands back and forth through the song. Stupid crowd! Only one song has ever had that effect on me as part of an audience and that was "Hip Hop Hooray" Ho...Hey... Ho! See what I mean?
Anyway, he turns into a 45 year old right before our eyes. The judges aren't that impressed. Simon declares Kat the winner of Round 2!

Now it's time for my least favorite part of the season. Each of the Idols has a had a song written for them in mind. Their singles will be released after the winner is announced and we're going to get to hear their debuts here tonight, before your local adult contemporary or top 40 station floods your brain with them. Kill me now.
Kat's song is entitled "My Destiny". She comes out with the a million spotlights. She's wrapped up tight in a gray dress. It's tight but the mini-butts are kept in check this week. The color really sucks for her and makes this awful song seem even more morose.

The requisite Gospel Choir comes out to accompany Kat on the last chorus. They can't save this song. Even Kat looks like she's in pain as she struggles through it.

Randy starts out with you look amazing, which we know prefaces "there was something horribly shitty about your performance." The judges pretty much say the song you were given sucks ass but you sang it well. Kat understands because no one could possibly like that song. Simon pretty much tells her this sinks her chances.

Taylor's song is also a ballad called "Do I Make You Proud?" Well, no one said this was Cutting Edge Idol. Not much to say here.
He also gets the Choir treatment. He waits to start the "Soul Patrol"ing after the choir leaves the stage, otherwise he may have gotten smacked upside the head.
The best way to describe the two performances. Kat went on stage and sang a shitty song. Taylor performance was of his shitty single. No matter how bad the material was Taylor acted liked he owned it and that made all the difference in the world.

The judges pretty much confirm my first impression. Simon declares him the winner which leads to Paula cackling and Randy ready to serve up a shit pie for Simon to eat as we're all reminded that SIMON didn't even feel like Taylor was worthy of going to Hollywood. Simon eats shit with an abundance of grace. The guy is Teflon.

We close out the show with Daniel Powter singing "Bad Day" and we see all the highlights from the season.

The highlight for me was the "Oh man my position on the charts is going to be replaced by both of these twits" face he had while singing.

Results tomorrow. If Taylor doesn't win it...nothing changes at all really.

Tags: American Idol, Reality TV, TV