American Idol- British Invasion with Results

Aight suckas! Tonight's theme on American Idol is the British Invasion. My hopes are high when they good music history video which includes alot of the the not as obvious groups and British acts. As I've mentioned before, I'll have these weeks where all I'll listen too are oldies stations, so I'm looking forward to this. Tonight's mentors are Peter Noone from Herman's Hermits. Hmmm, I wonder if we'll get to hear "Henry the Eighth" or "Something Good"? He'll be mentoring the guys. Meanwhile, Lu Lu of "To Sir, With Love" fame will be mentoring the Girls. Lot's of big voices available for "To Sir, With Love"...I wonder if we'll get that tonight as well?

Leading off the show is Haley of the improving stage presence. She gets a crash course from Lu Lu on staccato for "Tell Him". She also tells her not to sweat the lack of a big voice. Cool, I always loved this song...and all quirkiness is immediately taken out of the arrangement and replaced with rockin' guitars. Ugh, not a good sign. Hailey comes out wearing short shorts and a top with um alot of freedom and HELL-OOOOO

Haley is finally realizing she's the last of the conventionally attractive white girls left in this competition. So she comes out swinging and shakin' that plain white girl moneymaker. That combined with a fun performance has her shooting up the TC and M rankings!


Chris H. will be treating us to a Gerry and the Pacemakers song, "Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying". Peter Noone tells him to cut out the fluttery vibrato wussiness in his voice. If only Peter could give that lecture to every one-hit R and B wonder who butchers a classic song

He keeps his voice in control but I really don;t think this is a time for ballads. Especially where there a plethora of fun songs to choose from this era. Anyway I've liked him from the beginning so I'm biased towards liking this. Even though it was a good job, not the best song choice for this point of the competition.


Stephanie and Lu Lu and hangin' and she pulls out the Beyonce comparison. Well I didn't expect lu Lu to call her "Gina" from Martin and give her a big "Wasssup?" Anyway Dusty Springfield's "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" will be the song she's singing. I'm a fan of the song so this should be good.

Not so fast, me...Her voice is fine but this song is just so forced. I love the original and there's a flow to it that I just love, but Stephanie is just missing it. It's just really off. Paula leads with you look great comments and that's never good. Simon thinks that it was cabaret and she is getting too old for herself. He's got a point. If she sang it with the energy of her 19 years it probably would have worked better. It just really came across as stuffy.

Oh shit it's Blake. Now it's not like that I think he's a bad performer, he's actually entertaining. It's just really hard to root for someone when you hate what he stands for with every fiber of your being. Of course, he starts his Peter Noone session by beatboxing. (hate) Peter backhands that the little girls will eat it up. He does give him credit for attempting to modernize the song. The song in question is "Time of the Season" by the Zombies. Immediately I think of the movie 1969 and Wynona Ryder trying to coax Kiefer Sutherland into putting the moves on her with "What am I Ratgirl?". Just trying anything not to think about the crap that's about to follow.

It's the Blake blueprint. Beatbox. Sing. Beatbox. Do the robot. Sing. Beatbox. Shit-Eating Grin.(Hate) It's not horrible but his gimmick is getting old. He handles the "Tell it to me slowly" fine which is my favorite part of the song. He's going to be safe for a long time (HATE)

Next we have the chosen one, Lakisha and we have the first of our which song are they
gonna sing. Lakisha comes forward with "Diamonds are Forever" while Lu Lu thinks that "You Are My World" is perfect for her.

Anyway Ryan hints that Lakisha is wearing $1,000,000 worth of diamonds, so I guess Lakisha is telling Lu Lu to take "You Are My World" and shove it up her British birdy butt.

Our first blatant act of Idol hubris this season! The TV gods are not nice to Lakisha this week. I think it's the way she over enunciated the song especially the "L's". It just wasn't there. The judges weren't all that impressed wither. She's still far and away ahead of most of the pack but a few others may have passed her up this week. See what happens when you don't listen to Lu Lu? TC and M says SELL!

Phil gets the ultimate compliment from Peter Noone saying his singing of "Tobacco Road" was the best version he's ever heard of that song. Seriously? Oh well we'll see. At least he left the hat at home again so that's a plus.

Now if you're gonna sing a rock song about your shitty up brining and how you come from the wrong side of the tracks why the hell are you wearing a shiny button down? The clothes would really help sell this performance, because Phil we haven't forgotten that just two weeks ago you were singing f'n Leanne Rimes. Anyway I hate the song, he sings it pretty well. Simon says his voice lacked the grit to sell the song.

Jordin Sparks is next and she's quickly becoming one of my favorites. She has to field one of those e-mail questions from Ryan. Her question is: What song best describes you best? She answers "I'm So Excited" by the Pointer Sisters. The wheels just came for you there, Jordin. She's singing "I Who Have Nothing" by Shirley Bassie. Her takes every bit of wisdom passed down from Lu Lu so we'll see if the humility pays off.

Okay I'll forgive the Pointer Sister's love. She kicks this songs ass all over the place. Not much more to say here other than she might have leapfrogged Lakisha.

Oh man, Sanjaya is next and he's all rockered out with his sleeves pulled over his hands to look like fingerless gloves. He's also rockin' the Leif Garret hair tonight as well. He's trying to narrow the song choice down to "You Really Got ME"by the Kinks and "Something Good" by our guest legend. Peter diplomatically steers Sanjaya towards the Kinks which was made me laugh.

Well, if the clothes didn't give it away, the guitars did and Sanjaya comes out jumping around like a little kid playing rock star. It's as if you took an Amtrack and rammed it in the middle of a NASCAR pile up. An abomination but yet you can't take your eyes off of it. To top it all off the camera cuts to a girl who absolutely loses her shit. I think the producers wanted to create a Beatles on Ed Sullivan feel by showing the hysterically crying girl, but it's just one. Couldn't you have at least paid off a section of fans to go cuckoo f'n bananas over this pansy? Anyway they cut to the little freak show a few more times and congratulations American Idol, you've just ruined her childhood. I can just imagine the merciless teasing that's gonna happen at school. Maybe she and Star Wars Kid can be pen pals after this. Randy and Paula are just amused and encouraging while Simon only sums it up with "That little girls face says it all"

Okay true story. I was contemplating what songs rocker chick Gina was going to sing. I don't remember any female rockers from that era. So I thought that it would be a bad move for her to sing a guys song because of her voice. I thought to myself "Don't do the Stones" then I thought about what the obvious song and said to no one in particular "Girl, don't do Paint it Black"

And she does. Now the problem with doing the Stones is that they're too distinctive. It's impossible to hear the Stones without hearing Mick Jagger's voice along with an asshole singing along. Most of the time the asshole is you. Gina tries but it's just not very good. She tries to Evanescence it and it doesn't work. I'm worried about our rocker chicks chances.

Chris S. is next and he'll be a doing the Zombies "She's Not There" Peter gives him the smackdown after hearing him sing when he snatches the lyric sheet from him and asks him what the song is about. Meaning focus on the song and don;t worry about turning this into a f'n COLDPLAY song!

Chris comes out of the audience trying to add a populist vibe to his schtick. Unfortunately all the walking around and slapping hands tires him out and he runs out of breath for the big notes at the end of the song. Still it wasn't bad and best of all it wasn't COLDPLAY! He did try to start a "Fro Patrol" movement this week. Sigh. Just when you thought he was safe...

We end with Melinda which is good because I'm tired.

She sings "As Long as He Needs Me" She's awesome. I'll admit it, she's by far the best voice on the show.

My predicitons: Gina and Sanjaya on principle...but we all know how that goes.

RESULTS SHOW:

Lot's of filler here and only five actual minutes of eliminations. First we have Peter singing "There's a Hush" which was cool but I was hoping for "Something Good"

Lu lu gets to strut her legend status with her signature "To Sir, With Love". She runs the lyrics as someone would who has sung the same song for 40+ years. The highlight of the season for me.

Anyway we break the groups into three Phil, Melinda and Blake...all safe. Chris Sligh, Jordin, and Lakisha...safe. Then it's Gina, Halay, and Sanjaya...and they're ALL F'N SAFE!

This leaves us with Stephanie and Chris H. who are two I sorta like...nice job there America. "Lost her shit" girl must have dialed 35 million times after she calmed down last night.

Anyway Chris H. is safe and Stephanie is gone. She doesn't even get to start a sing off. Bye girl who reminded me of Tisha Campbell.