Lost: One of Us

OK, a couple rockin' episodes where Locke blows stuff up, then a Nikki and Paolo episode, then a Kate episode? And now a *Juliet* episode???

Dang, ABC -- are you trying to suck every bit of life out of this show? Could we have an episode focusing on someone interesting again?

F'ing Juliet ... blech.


The unmerry band trudges through the jungle toward the beach, then stops to make camp for the night.

Jack offers to gather firewood, and of course, Kate's got to follow him. She wants to talk -- you know, ask about his time with the Others, and then get to the really important stuff -- why isn't he treating her like the most important thing in the universe anymore?

Urge to kill Kate rising, rising ...

Jack says he made a deal to take care of Ben. He did his job, kept his head down, and didn't ask any questions. He won't tell her anything else.

Juliet and Sayid end up getting water, and geeze, Jules -- clean up a little, why don't ya? At least scrap some of the mud from last week's episode off!

Sayid gives Juliet the stink eye until she asks what he wants. "I want to know what you people are doing on this Island," Sayid says. "Why you're terrorizing us, making lists, kidnapping children. I want to know everything, but the first thing I'd like to know is, who are you?"

C'mon Sayid, get your pointy sticks and blow torch ready -- there's torturing to be done!



Flashback!

Juliet and her sister arrive at Mittelos Bioscience, and the guy at the gate says he'll let Dr. Alpert know she's there.

Ethan shows up and collects Juliet and her bags, and Alpert is there to escort her into the complex. That's some security -- they won't even let sis into the gate! Jules and her sister have a tearful goodbye, and Juliet promises that she'll be back before the baby's born.



Sayid asks Juliet again who she is, and Juliet says that if she told Sayid who she was and everything she knows, he'd kill her. Sayid gives her the Stare, and asks "What do you think I'll do if you don't?" Then he shows her his jar of balls.

Jack jumps in and says that Juliet doesn't have to answer for anything, and that she's under his protection. And that's supposed to mean what? That he'll joust anyone who insults her honor?



Charlie arrives at Claire's shelter to find the baby screaming and Claire looking poorly. She says she's not feeling well, and that she had trouble sleeping. Charlie puts on his worried face.

Kate and Sayid powerwalk through the Jungle away from Jack and Juliet. Jack says to give them time -- soon they'll forget she's a creepy kidnapping freak.

Juliet points out that "My people kept Sayid chained to a swing set for three days. Then I dragged Kate into the jungle, handcuffed myself to her, and then lied about it. How much time do you think they need?"

Jack says they'll be over it by the time they get back to the beach. Yeah, right.



Flashback!

Alpert walks Juliet through a private airline terminal and feeds her a line of bull about how six months will just fly by and how he thinks she's really going to be able to make a difference with her research.

Ethan's there, and he wants to take her vitals. Juliet looks confused, but agrees. While Ethan's doing that, Alpert takes some powder out of his pocket and spikes a glass of orange juice.

Alpert gives Juliet the O.J., and freely admits that it's chock full of tranquilizers, saying that she doesn't want to be awake for the trip.

Juliet is skeptical, saying that she was fine with all the secrecy and the paperwork, but knockout juice is a bit much.

Alpert argues that she knows they're taking her to someplace special, and that she can use her "gift" to do something significant. Like knocking up her sister. Which is STILL CREEPY!!

Juliet chugs the juice.

When she wakes up, she's strapped down to a bunk with red lights surrounding her. Ethan's there, and he jokes about the trip being a little bumpy. He unstraps her and leads her out and up -- they're on the submarine. Ben's waiting on the dock, and he says he's happy to be working with her.



On the beach, Sawyer jokes around with Hurley and Charlie, who are making oatmeal, and offers to fetch Claire some aspirin. He looks happy, and I think he's getting into this leadership gig.

Sigh -- too bad we won't see more of it -- Super Jack's back, and he's got the Torturer, the Crazy Beeatch and the Traitor with him.



Everyone hugs and smiles. The actor who plays Sawyer (Josh Holloway) is amazing, and the look of happiness, suspicion and questioning on his face when he sees Kate sells this scene. Sawyer and Kate embrace, and if she can make him happy, I'm willing to let her live a few days longer.

Then Sawyer sees Juliet. "What the hell is she doing here?"



Juliet is sitting by herself by the ocean when Hurley plops down beside her. She asks if he's been assigned to watch her.

Hurley says she doesn't remember her from the docks, when the Others kidnapped them, Tasered them and put bags over their heads. She jokes that she had the day off.

"The last one of them to come over here, Ethan, he kidnapped Claire and Charlie got upset," Hurley says. "We buried him over there."

Intimidation from the big guy? Dude -- if I were Juliet, I'd be worried.



Flashback!

Juliet and Goodwin (remember him? Ana Lunatic killed him dead) are in an operating room with Ethan. The woman on the table flatlines.

Juliet is upset, and Goodwin tells her to buck up -- she tried. He offers to go tell Ben what happened.

Later, Ben finds Juliet, and tells her that it was the woman's choice to get pregnant, and that she knew the risks. Juliet says that she thinks the problem is at conception, and if it is, there's nothing she can do, short of taking a woman off the Island, getting her knocked up, and then bringing her back.

Doesn't matter, though -- her six months are up, and she wants to go home to her preggers sister.

Ben says it doesn't matter -- her sister's cancer is back, and she'll be dead before she can deliver. He apologizes for not telling her sooner.

Juliet gets all pissy and says she wants to go home ... NOW. Ben says she can, or she can stay and help him. If she does, he'll cure her sister's cancer.



Back on the beach, the Lostaways are less than happy to see Juliet. They want to ask her some questions, but Super Jack keeps answering for her, like she's a housecat or something. Sawyer suggests giving Sayid a pair of pliers and seeing what he can get out of her. I like that suggestion!

For some reason, Jack seems to think that if he trusts Juliet, it's cool. No vote, no discussion, just "I'm Super Jack, and if you don't like it, I'll slap ya around like a Thai tattoo artist." I'm actively disliking Jack again. He can join Kate on the death list.

Sawyer asks about Locke, and finds out he's an Other now. Sawyer says Jack should have let Ben die, and when Kate whines that he did it for her because she's super special, Sawyer says Jack did it for Jack. He wants to know why Jack's fighting the Lostaways and sticking up for an Other. Jack shouts that he was trying to get off the Island, which still makes him sound pretty damn selfish, and pretty stupid besides.

The fight is interrupted when Claire's nose starts bleeding, and she passes out.



Juliet comes up to Sun and Jin and asks what happened to Claire. Sun translates for Jin, "He said, 'What do you care?'"

Juliet goes to Kate and says she needs her help. She wants her to go and get Jack. Kate says that Jack is busy, but Juliet insists that she needs to talk to him -- she knows what's wrong with Claire, because she did it to her.

Sawyer and Sayid watch Jack, Juliet and Kate talk, and agree that Juliet's up to no good.

Juliet tells Jack that Claire is having an adverse reaction to medication the Others gave her, a drug that Juliet designed to keep Claire alive during the late stages of her pregnancy.

Juliet explains that women on the Island can't have children -- their bodies treat the child like its a foreign invader. Every woman who's gotten pregnant has died. She explains that Ethan infiltrated their camp after the crash, and started secretly taking blood samples from Claire. She showed the same symptoms that women who had conceived on the Island did, so the Others acted to save her.

Um, by kidnapping her?

Juliet says the kidnapping wasn't planned. She developed the drug -- Ethan was supposed to give it to Claire while everyone was asleep. When Hurley figured out Ethan wasn't on the plane, Ethan acted on his own and kidnapped Claire.

Juliet says that without the drug, Claire will die. She knows where Ethan kept a stash of medication near the caves they used to live in. If she leaves now, she should be able to save Claire. Jack tells her to get moving.



Flashback!

Juliet is in bed with Goodwin (eww!) eating ice cream. She mentions that she's been on the Island for three years.

She answers a knock on the door, gets some x-rays, and looks concerned.

Later, she takes the x-rays with her to see Ben, who's finishing "Carrie." He says he doesn't know why she picked that book, and that it's bloody depressing.

Jules shows him the x-rays, and tells him he has a tumor on his spine. Then she asks why he's acting scared, and he says because you just told me I have cancer, you stupid beeatch!

Juliet's pissy, because Ben told her that no one on the Island ever got cancer, and that means that he must have lied when he said he would have her sister cured.

Ben says he didn't lie to her, but Juliet gets annoying and hysterical and slaps him and demands to talk to her sister ... NOW. She cries and says she wants to go home.



Juliet finds a tree with the same mark that was burned into her back. Buried nearby is a black case.

Sayid and Sawyer step out of the treeline and tell her to stop. She says it's medical supplies, and she has to get them back to Claire. Sawyer checks the case, which is full of drugs and syringes.

Sayid says, "You said earlier that if you told me everything you knew, I'd kill you. I'm going to test the validity of that statement."

I love it when Sayid goes all Republican Guard!

She says there's no time, and Sawyer says they've got all day.

Juliet's demeanor changes, and she gets all righteous and pissy. She says it's interesting that they are the Lostaway's moral police now, and wants to know if Sayid has told the gang about all the people he's tortured. Do they know about Basra?

And then she asks Sawyer if he's told the Lostaways about the guy he killed in Sydney. So they don't get to pretend to be right. She grabs the case and walks away.

I still want Sayid to work her over Hussein-style.



Flashback!

Hey! No fair giving us flashbacks we've already flashed back to!

Juliet gets ready for book club, plays "Downtown," yadda yadda. The plane crashes. Ben sends Goodwin and Ethan to find survivors and bring back lists in three days.

Ben tells Juliet he needs to show her something, and takes her to the Flame. Then he asks Patchy to please not shoot them.

Patchy's watching a bunch of screens showing news reports and footage of the crash. Ben tells him he needs detailed files on every person on the plane, and Patchy says he's already working on it.

Ben asks to uplink to Richard in Arcadia Park, and then tells Juliet that he was hurt that she thought he lied to her.

First she sees a newspaper showing the date -- 9/22/04 -- then she sees her sister, with hair, playing with a toddler.

Ben explains that sis is completely healed, and that she had a healthy baby boy, named Julien, after his auntie ... and his daddy. And Juliet, it is so freaking creepy that you impregnated your own sister!

Ben tells Richard that's enough, and to come back as soon as possible. Juliet cries and wants to see more. She tells Ben she wants to go home, and he says her work isn't done -- the mothers keep dying.



Juliet brings Jack the case. Charlie protests that Doctor Other shouldn't be working on Claire, but Jack overrules him. Who died and made Jack king?

Juliet tells Jack the medicine will take a couple of hours to work, and Jack says that if anything happens to Claire, he won't be able to protect her.



Claire wakes up feeling perky.

Jack gives Juliet a tarp and a blanket, and says the Lostaways have agreed to let her stay for now, but that they'll need answers.

"Why don't you? You keep talking about them. Why don't I ever have to explain myself to you?"

"You were there," he says. "You were standing right next to me when that submarine exploded. And I saw it in your eyes. You want to get off this island more than anything else in the world. That makes you one of us."

Jack is an idiot.



Flashback!

Ben and Jules go over their evil plan. She's to drag Kate out into the jungle, handcuff herself to her, and claim she was gassed. If Kate figures it out, she should cop to it and say it was the only way to earn their trust.

Next, she'll go back to the beach. The Others have activated the implant they put into Claire, and she'll start showing symptoms within 24 hours. The medical supplies will be waiting at Ethan's old drop point.

Ben says to tell Jack that she can save Claire, because he trusts her. Ben gives Juliet a gas mask and tells her he'll see her in a week.

I can't even gloat that I told ya'll that she was up to no good, even though I did. It was just so *obvious.*

I guess I can hope for torture.