Are you there, Mr. T ? It's me, PAJ! - Mr. T set to star in advice show

From the National Post:
http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/story.html?id=9279e3ca-bab1-4e70-ad2b-22d6b05dbab4&k=13569

Mr. T aspires to be Dr. Phil -- without the tears

Rob McKenzie
National Post

Saturday, July 15, 2006

PASADENA, Cal. - "Father, bless this food I'm about to eat and give me strength to grow stronger in love. Father, bless the people who don't have food on their table and bless the people who are less fortunate than myself."

That is what Mr. T says when he prays. He has other prayers for other occasions, but that's the one for mealtime.

Two decades ago, Mr. T fulminated his way to fame as Clubber Lang in Rocky III and subsequently as mohawked mercenary B.A. Baracus on The A-Team. Now 54 years old, he is returning to the airwaves as a self-help guru in I Pity the Fool, that being his catchphrase as Baracus.

He aspires to give Dr. Phil a run for his money, and on that subject observed: "My show ain't no Dr. Phil where people sit around crying [at this point, Mr. T affected a whiny voice], 'What's wrong with me, Dr. Phil? What's wrong with me, Dr. Phil?' You are a fool. That's what's wrong with you."

Similarly, when asked how he would counsel Tony Kornheiser, the Washington Post sportswriter who is afraid of flying but has taken a travel-intensive job in the Monday Night Football broadcast booth, Mr. T said: "Straighten up and stop being a coward. Don't be no fool. Get on that plane and fly, fool, fly."

Perhaps the best question of Mr. T's appearance this week before the Television Critics Association, a question admirable both for its cheek and succinctness, was: "Mr. T, why do you pity the fool?"

"That is a good question. That is a good question and a legitimate question," Mr. T replied. "And I'm the man to answer it. You pity the fool because you don't want to beat up a fool. You know, pity is between sorry and mercy. See, if you pity him, you won't have to beat him up. So that's why I say fools you gotta give another chance because they don't know no better."

Mr. T blusters and improvises -- at various points during Thursday's session, he said the T in his name stands for Tender, Tough, On Time, and Temperature (because he brings the heat); he also opined that "Every superhero is supposed to have a fear. Superman feared kryptonite. Batman feared [pause] Batwoman" - but he also hews to an unreconstructed morality. He worships his mother, and time and again cited her teachings to him. He is grateful to God. He wants people to, in brief, "Do good. Be nice."

After Hurricane Katrina he rid himself of his gold chains because they felt like a sin. Anyway, he said, "The gold is in my heart."

In the snippets of I Pity the Fool shown to critics, Mr. T visits a car dealership in New York where the work atmosphere is poisoned. There is tension between the gruff and ungiving man who runs the place and the son desperate to please him. Mr. T exhorts them to listen to one another, and in the end the son cries as the father says how highly he thinks of him.

And so here is another of Mr. T's favourite prayers: "Lord, when they see me, let them see you. When they hear me, Lord, let them hear you."

- I Pity the Fool premieres on TV Land in the United States on Oct. 11. A TV Land official said the show will run in Canada but details are still being worked out.

Oh Em Gee! I have a new favorite show and I haven't even seen it yet. Maybe if the show does well he can replace his gold for some real platinum bling, yo!

This article does bring about some sadness though, as the whole mystique of the phrase "I pity the fool" has been shattered. I never thought that the phrase was meant, as T claims here, as a gesture of tolerance, benevolence and redemption for those who lacked wisdom. I always took it as a clairvoyant statement of future feelings towards said fool. For example, "I pity the fool, who took T's Capri Sun" would mean I will have great sympathy for the person who took Mr. T's convenient and tasty juice in a pouch. Because after I find who took it, I will give them a monumental ass-stomping and stick the Capri Sun straw of death up his pee-hole. Using the "correct" meaning it would mean that he would identify the fools mistake, reprimand him, and then give him another chance where the fool may or may not cause Mr. T. to go thirsty once again in the future. Not quite as menacing is it? Sigh. I've been using the phrase incorrectly these last 23 years or so. I feel so dumb. Please show pity on this fool.

By the way, did any of you as kids notice that when the old Capri Sun Pouches were really poofy that you could get a buzz off drinking the fermented juice. Yeah...me neither.

At least nothing can take away Mr. T's "Hey, WO-man" speech to Adrian in Rocky III, which is still the greatest callin' out scene ever in a movie. Hmmmm I think I'll just use that phrase in "I pity the fools" stead. I hear that the ho's really dig it when you refer to them as a "WO-man". I guess I owe you thanks once again Mr. T. You're the greatest!

Tags: Pop Culture News, TV