I'm gonna go out on a limb here. A strong-ass unbreakable limb and say that I'm pretty sure this season's American Idol is gonna be a woman. The girls this year are so much better than the guys that not even seven more sets of fake blowjob and "Hey look I'm on the shitter" pictures are going to prevent this. Kinda take the fun out of a chronological recap so we're gonna mix it up a bit.
The Chosen Ones
Lakisha
She kinda mailed it in this week with Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing", I can'r remember someone so heavily favored to win the competition this early since Fantasia.\
Stephanie
Out of this group of favorites she's the one I'm pulling for. It's probably becaus she reminds me of Tisha Campbell. Go'on Gina!
Melinda
Okay, I said that wouldn't recap the "hidden secrets" portions but Melinda's is too good to ignore. She describes behavior that she describes as "equal opportunity" so if she chews her food on one side of her mouth she has to chew it an equal number of times on the other side. If she steps on a crack with one foot she has to step on it with the other foot. GENIUS!!! She's actually courting the OCD voters! Brilliant strategy for a contest where who ever gets the most repetitive dialers wins! I can't believe no one had tried this before.
On the Bubble
Sabrina
She's hot and can do a pretty mean En Vogue, but the judge knock her copycat style and say she's being a bit too robotic to put her among the chosen. My take is that she's the most attractive one left...so yeah.
Jordin
I never paid much attention to her until this week when she sang "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benatar. Pretty ballsy choice and it wasn't bad at all. The judges weren't thrilled but think she's done enough to make it to the big stage. I agree.
Gina
Well the judges finally got Rocker-chick Gina to dive into that role with some Evanesnce . Welcome to your box Gina. Lord help you if you ever ever EVER try to leave. Actually, she's been my favorite ever since they showed her dealing with fake-Shakira during the Hollywood shows. I agree with Simon when he says she's a breath of fresh air. I hope she goes far.
Please Go Home
Hailey
She sang an ultra-boring Faith Hill song. Simon quipped that after all this time he still doesn't even know her name. Lots of fake shrugging off tears with Ryan afterwards. Don't worry, I think she'll be playing Branson after this.
Antonella
I guess there isn't anything I could say that grinding you snatch all over a Veterans Memorial hasn't already. Anyway, she butchered a Corinne Bailey Rae song and had enough "Look at how pretty I am" glances at the camera to send Frenchie off on an Antonella hunt. Simon brought up her skewering in the media offering a classy and dignified out for her, but she kept rambling on about how much she deserves to be in the top 12. I guess you can't blame her. I read that Girls Gone Wild has already offered her $250,000 to host a video and I'm sure the longer she stays on the offers will only get bigger. Something tells me she's gonna make it through.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
American Idol Girls night to play
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On a related note, I recently went to a My Chemical Romance concert.
The opening act was a group called Rise Against (the machine?) whos only talent is to be mistaken for a better band.
It took them half an hour to change from the Rise Against stage to the MCR stage, but it was worth it. They put on a great show, danced around a bit for my entertainment.
In the middle of the show the lead singer had to stop to give a shout out to cancer. I really hope he has a song titled cancer because the girl I went with's mother died of cancer and here was the lead singer giving the disease props. Then again I guess with all the nay sayers there has to be some pro-cancer supporters.
The audience kept throwing stuff on the stage at the bandmembers, to the point that the bandmembers would pick them up and throw them back, which made me lawl a bit.
At the end of the show I got to see one of the guitarists dump a bottle of water on the other guitarist's head, then have the lead singer pay him back by dry humping the back of his head.
The only thing that scared me was the crowd, until I realized that I had gone to the concert with the worst of them. The girl I went with dressed in black lace, knew every word to the songs and even forced me to hold her jacket so she could cheer harder.
After all that though, I still didn't get no clam :(
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