So You Think You Can Dance - The Final Results Show

Ah, with the sounds of "Love is a Many Splendored Thing" in the background, summer is coming to a close and so Tortilla Chips and Milk must say goodbye to "So You Think You Can Dance?" We can have a stroll on the beach as we get ready to part ways and talk about keeping in touch when we get back to school and such then as the waves crash around us we can say a proper adieu...after all this isn't the end...this is only the beginning...na na na SoYouThinkYouCanDance!

Summer lovin' had me a blast
Summer lovin', happened so fast
We start with the extended intro dance of the entire Top 20. They're each put into pairs with their original partner on the show with the exception of Martha and Ryan. Some it's great to see, some it's tough to recognize, but in some magical way each pair reminds me of everything I liked or disliked about them in just five seconds of screentime. Seriously, all of them. It went like this: heh, whoooo, sweet, oh yeah them, KILL, meh, meh, ew they're back together, and then the top four. Weird emotional rollercoaster there. Cat greets "her babies" and we see meet our six judges for the evening. Then we get the quickie recap which comes in handy since it's been more than 24 hours since the last show. We're going to start out with a Shane Sparks group number to "When You Gonna Give It Up To Me", by Sean Paul. It's just so so, there's just too much going on and the camera work is spotty.


Met a girl crazy for me
I met a boy, cute as can be
We're going to see each of the top four's choice of favorite performances tonight. We start with Benji. He gives a voice over saying that he doesn't have a favorite. We do get a lengthy recap of his partnership with Donyelle. Surprisingly, rather than celebrating the undeniable power of the Benjelle he chooses to dance for the final time with...his cousin. He wants to show off his hottest routine with...his cousin.

Tell Me more tell me more.
Did ya get very far?
It's Benji and Heidi's mambo and another chance to pray to the TV Gods that they make out on stage.

Seriously y'all, they're cousins!!! The lusty looks...this is gross. So f'n inappropriate here.

Tell me more, tell me more,
Was it love at first sight?
Tell me more, tell me more,
Did he put up a fight?
We go immediately to Heidi's choice. She glosses over her partnership with Ryan, highlighting getting her bongos beaten. However, tonight she's reprising her dance with Travis on the park bench.

Remember this one? It's the one where Travis goes through the conflict of straight, straight, straight, gay, gay, straight, straight, gay, straight, gay, gay, gay, straight, GAY!

Summer fling don't mean a thing,
But uh-oh those summer nights
We're also going to get some of the judges choices for their favorite performances. Crazy-ass Mary immediately throws us a curveball and reveals some juicy dancer gossip. She alludes to a couple who "Had some sparks off the floor and on the floor. But we never did see them dance together." Waitaminit. If they didn't dance together how could she know they had sparks on the floor, unless she's like, a voyeur? Mary dishes that it's Natalie and Dmitry who got it on this summer! Wow! Not that surprising...but wow.

They dance a ballroom thingie and it's...not that steamy. Strange, that for a possible real-life couple Natalie showed much more chemistry with Musa than in her dance with Dmitry. Maybe that's a good thing ya know...it might mean genuine feelings...wait, why do I care?

Tell me more, tell me more,
But you don't gotta brag
Tell me more, tell me more,
Cause he sounds like a drag
Sir Pimp-a-Lot drops news about the tour, Step Up, dance clinics and Idlewild(?) and basically how the show is the cause for everyone now appreciating dance in Ameriker. Then more Step Up pimpage, we have a performance from the soundtrack. In honor of that performance, I'm going to lip synch my review of it.

I swear I can't believe I was so distracted by this show that I missed the chick crap on the stairs on "Flava of Love"

He got friendly, holdin my hand...
Donyelle voices over her Benjelle experience and relives her "I want America to see two Vietnamese dancers" flub. Okay, it WAS cute. She says that the only time she didn't have any nerves was her Broadway performance with Benji so that's what we're getttin' served y'all.

Yes, she's still wearing the dress that makes her look like a wedding cake. In retrospect, they really were a great pairing and it was great TV pairing the two underdogs. The fact that they took off like a runaway train for most of the season though really was surprising.

He was sweet, just turned eighteen
Well she was good, you know what I mean
Mia gets to choose the next routine and she chooses Allison and Ivan's contemporary dance to "Why" She tells a potential double-entendre filled story about how she was cooking when she first saw this number and that she was so moved by it she burned her sauce. In the time she takes to tell the story, they could have performed it three times.

I'm pretty psyched because I missed it live the first time around and it's nice to see some attention given to Allison and Ivan who were my favorites. WTF? They forgot to turn on the spotlight or something because all I see is dancing in the fucking dark. HATERS!!!!!

We next have the last top 20 group dance ever. They bring back the Wade Robson Zombie dance again.

Heh, for most of the dance the bottom ten chumps are just chillin' in the rafters. The 11 or so extra dancers really don't add anything this time around. We then get to have more filler highlighting the Top Twenty to the Boy's goodbye song.

It turned colder, that's where it ends
The focus then turns back to the top four and we get Heidi's journey to the Beautiful Girl song. We see her go from Reese Witherspoon to Meg Ryan and back. Then she caps it off to a solo to "I Love Rock N' Roll" which is possibly one of the least danceable songs EVER! Anyway, she's all smiles and Cat congratulates her and she's all smiles some more. Then the brutality starts. Before the applause even dies down Cat tells Heidi that if she looked up "America's Favorite Dancer", in the dictionary, the definition would say NOT YOU! Okay it wasn't exactly like that but just nearly as cold. Wow, for such a love fest things just got kinda ugly. Really who's idea was it to eliminate the beloved top four with "It's not you"? How about having all four at the end with "And the winner is..."? Stunning really, but yeah...I laughed my ass off.

It's Travis's turn to pick a favorite dance and while the body is still warm he chooses to dance the Paso Doble with Heidi. Wow, that must have sucked. Hey, why do they get a spotlight? HATERS!!!

So I told her we'd still be friends
Next, we have the spotlight on Donyelle. The math says that she's next for the "Not You" Treatment, until I think that maybe they could still create drama by keeping her on and eliminating one of the Tranji, so it's not a given...until she actually does get the "Not you" treatment. She gets a great ovation though and gives an inspiring (really) speech about how she had decided to quit dancing, but auditioned for the show, made it, and she's not stopping now. The Benjelle is dead, long live the Tranji.

It's Brian's turn to pick his favorite dance. He chooses Travis and Martha's Broadway number from the first competition show. He talks about how they were the team to beat and then things really get fucking weird. Brian intro somehow morphs into a HIPAA violation. Dig this from Dr. Brian: "Somewhere along the line we lost Martha's spirit and something personal must have happened in her life, which I don't really know about, but I hope she has come back from that." UH MUH GUH. I feel awkward just hearing this in my living room. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK??? How is that even the slightest bit appropriate for a dance show. In private, it's gossipy bullshit, in front of a nationwide television audience? There is no measurement scale in existence to measure how inappropriate. Disco ruler agrees with me here. It's probably the most tasteless thing I've seen in a show that's not intentionally trying to be tasteless.

Anyway Travis and Martha, who may or may not have recently suffered immense personal trauma , perform their Fosse number and yeah, Martha does seem to have lost something compared to the last time. Maybe Brian's right, or it may be because she just got her privacy invaded on fucking national TV.

They tease Benji and Travis with the "Not You" treatment, but of course we've got 20 minutes left in the show and Fergie hasn't even gone on yet.

Fergie actually sings/raps the verses of "London Bridge". She shows off the street toughness that ruled the P*lace and made Riley her bitch through her teen years. In an effort to really push this London gimmick two palace guards pop out of nowhere for Fergie Ferg to freak on. So. Fucking. Ridiculous. OMG they rip off their hats and start dancing around...My head is about to explode by now.

Then we made our true love vow
We STILL have one more judges pick performance. Dan Karatay picks the Tranji of course. It's like this show was scripted weeks ago. It's the same as it was last week. They then go over to Cat for the final announcement.

Summer dreams ripped at the seams,
But oh, those summer nights
I'll close the recap with a phone call I got at 7:00 PM pst, which was one hour before the show started for me:

"Hello?"
"Benji Wins" *click*

And as his prize he gets to work with this.

Gratz!


BTW this is Tortilla Chips and Milk's 100th post. Thank you so much for checking out the site. I'll try to keep y'all entertained for the next 100 posts!
-Paj

Tags: So You Think You Can Dance, TV, Reality TV