Tales of Overheard Conversation - No Woman No Cry

I haven't done one of these in awhile, but it's summer and I was recently reminded of something that really pisses me off to no end. Seriously, what I'm about to describe drives me absolutely batshit and I'm going to end up hurting someone because of it. It's bugged me ever since high school, more often in college, and most recently in any shithead type of restaurant or bar that tries to create an unrealistic mood through music. Alright here's the scene; alcohol is flowing freely, it's a summer night, a Jimmy Buffett song fades out, and you start to hear the organ fade in. It's Bob Marley's "No Woman, no Cry". Classic song. Everyone knows it by heart. You yourself probably bought "Legend" as you were discovering reggae music or trying to impress that cute guy/girl that smoked a lot of weed. Somewhere in the middle of the chorus your bound to hear this type of bullshit, more likely than not from a group of guys wearing bleached out baseball caps and Tevas.

Truer words have never been spoken, man. Fuck them bitches.

GAHHHH!!! I hate those non-contextual comprehending fucks that think "No Woman, no Cry" is Bob Marley lamenting about his rasta chick problems. As if "No Woman, No Cry" means that if you remove women from your douchebag equation, that you will no longer be sad. Have they ever even listened to the song? I'm sure they have because most of these fuckos are singing along for fuck's sake!!! For those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about here are the lyrics to the song Now after reading the lyrics, how is it possible that anyone who has completed the fourth grade could think that this is a pity party song about a getting your heart broken? Think about it, Bob Marley was too cool for that shit. If his woman was actin' up he wasn't gonna get all pussy-like and start whining. Fuck! If he were having girl troubles, he would have just gone outside blazed up a doobie, taken his guitar, thought about some history, and plucked out another perfect song to go with your hash.

By the way, you trifilin' motherfuckers who misunderstand "No Woman, No Cry", your woman probably dumped your ass because you're a dumbshit! Did you think the background singers were singing "everything's gonna be alright" to you? Get the fuck outta here you emotard! It's about a guy telling his woman not to be sad. Seriously, Bob Marley might have 99 Problems, but his bitch ain't one.

Tags: Music, Tales of overheard conversation