Dirty, Pretty Things

Well, Nip/Tuck is back. And while yes, a mother/daughter sexual tag team isn't exactly the most wholesome scene on TV, the filthiest thing I saw was Sean trimming his nose hairs. Eeew!
But at least we start the season with a bang. Ha. And I'm sure that pregnant ladies all over the country were having a chuckle while watching the sexual acrobatics between Sean and Julia. Speaking of creepy, nasty things, that fake pregnant belly was not right.

So, the primary story line for this episode were:
JR needs some bigger balls so that his wife will have sex with him again (Apparently he believes that they will also help him to be more aggressive in business). Perhaps they will also help him to notice that his wife is constantly making eyes at the man who will soon have his balls--and a knife--in his hands.
Kathleen Turner, as Cindy Plumb, needs a voice lift so that she can continue her illustrious career as a phone sex star. Even though he isn't so sure at first, the clear emotional stability of her desire is enough to convince Sean to take her money and do the surgery.
Julia finds out that her baby will be born with a severe deformity, where he will have hands that look more like lobster claws than anything else. She decides to keep the baby anyway, but Sean is pretty upset and never quite gets around to proposing marriage after that. I won't talk much more about this story. It makes me tired.

Back to the good stuff: Christian's little "family affair" is going pretty well for awhile. I mean, they can both give a blow job without even smearing their lip gloss. Unfortunately, Christian has issues kissing someone whose tongue was just tickling his tuckuss and the ladies are mightily offended. While I don't normally sympathize with Christian, I am in full support of this policy.
In Christian's attempt to be a more sympathetic character, he decides to seek counseling from Brooke Sheilds who, for the purposes of this series, shall be called Faith. She accuses him of being in love with Sean, and for the rest of the episode we have lots of fun with Christian fearing the worst.
IMMEDIATELY he returns to the office where Sean is playing with JR's future balls, and is invited to join in the fun. Also, he decides that the decor in his apartment is a bit too "metrosexual" and hires a designer to "butch it up". I love this. Kathleen Turner needs help sounding less like a man, and Christian needs help to decorate like one.

With all the stress, Christian and Sean decide they've had enough. It's time to make their money and sell the practice to the guy with the newly enlarged testicles. This way his hot wife can continue to make eyes (and probably love) to Christian while Sean can focus on his depressing new child.

Overall, it wasn't my favorite episode. A bit over-emotional, but at least we get some meaningless sex at the end. Christian proves to Faith that he can definitely perform from behind a woman, and perhaps the saddest scene of all is when Sean tries out Kathleen Turner's new voice on the phone. Don't worry, though. Next week looks pretty exciting.

Tags: Nip/Tuck